Fantasy Feeder

The social meaning of gaining

Duncan:
I have been thinking recently about the reason and the perception of gaining weight in our societies, and I still have interrogations I would like to share, mainly with women.

First about the reason of the weight preference : as usual we have to think from the point of view of a "caveman" which means a male human free of social constructions and adapted to survive in a natural environment.

I am convinced that most of us males are attracted to fatter women because from the point of view of a caveman they are more susceptible to survive pregnancy and to feed a baby. I think there is a consensus on this idea, though I am talking about 80% of men having a preference for voluptuous females. I really think we are a lot. The threshold of "being too fat" might differ but the concept is the same: fatter is better.

I also think that this trend increased naturally with the adoption of clothing features which started to hid the female body and required more generous figures to be noticeable though fabrics.

From my point of view, many of the men saying "fat is gross" are only repeating a concept acquired from social constructions and are secretly aroused by the idea of a larger woman. In short, they say they don’t like fat women to conform with their social surroundings but at the same time they think they would love to squeeze these women.

Though, I am wondering if on the opposite side with the development of the "cavewoman", women acquired the natural willingness to get plumper in order to attract more cavemen? It doesn’t appear so! I have the impression that most women put on weight when they are expecting, but I think that they don’t have a instinctive need to get fat to attract men by opposition of men who will be triggered by their figures.

This discrepancy in the perception of female plumpness is an enigma to my eyes, how males and females developed so differently?

What do women think on this board?

So ... as a muscular female feeder who likes her men plump, I disagree with pretty much everything about this.

This assumes that (at least within feedism) women crave being fat, and the men's bodies aren't really that important. This is a very narrow heteronormative view of things.

This doesn't take into account

Mutual gainers
Fit FFAs and female feeders
Male feedees
LGBTQIA+
People who prefer other body types and are not fatphobic

This also assumes that cavewomen only existed to get fat and have babies. However, cavewomen were out and about doing hard labor for survival all the time.

I think it's much simpler than that. People like what they like for a variety of reasons. You can't codify it because everyone is unique. It's like how two people can like the same color or song for a variety of reasons.

3 years

Munchies

Feeder or feedee?

Bismarck1889:
I'm somewhat new to the feedisim community and I'm not really sure where I fit in if at all. I've never done anything related to feedisim, but I've switched back and forth between fantasizing about being a Feeder or being a Feedee for a while. Because of the confusion I'd like to ask what your opinions are on the question of being a feedee or feeder are, and maybe why you ask chose that route?

So, first off, you can be a feeder and a feedee. Mutual gainers get fat together. And some switch between feeder and feedee depending on their partner. You don't have to choose if you don't want to.

As for me, I'm an ex-gainer turned feeder. I've never been a feedee because I hate being fed. Never liked it. (My mom says I started holding my bottle at 1 week old because I didn't like when other people did it, lol.)

I used to be a gainer because I was a super underweight woman who thought she wanted to be fat. But as I gained, I realized I just didn't want to be small and weak. I became a hard gainer and put on 50 lbs of muscle. Once I was finally happy with my body, I lost interest in gaining more.

As for being a feeder, I suppose it comes from my desire to dote on people as well as my desire to dominate. (Mind you, there are subs and doms for bother feeder and feedee as well as more egalitarian roles).

I love feeding my feedee more than I ever loved feeding myself. Seeing him blissed out, growing softer by the day, and knowing that I did that? It's such a thrill and a turn on.

3 years

Munchies

Perks of being fat

Cat:
What are some perks of being fat?

Frogman:
It lowers your risk of being kidnapped.
(I stole that one, but it’s accurate.)

Spike:
You sure? Because my experience of 1291 days says otherwise. Fat people are JUST as easily kidnappable . :/ Petpeeve when people say tis but i guess when you lost four years of your life to being held hostage then its understandable.

I'm so sorry that you went through that. I am glad you are safe now. You didn't deserve any of that.

3 years

Munchies

How to break it to my wife.

Ngl, most of my relationship advice boils down to two things:

Talk to each other.
Break up.

3 years

Munchies

How to break it to my wife.

Supercode:
Thank you. Just to see the record straight about a couple things, though. 1. I don't have health issues right now, or even at my heaviest, apart from being quite fat already. My family is afraid I could develop some of I don't lose weight 2. My wife and I don't have children, or anyone else in our household. I was referring to extended family, outside our home, not approving.I wouldn't risk doing this if I had kids.[/quote]

Ah. This changes things dramatically.

Well, the most important person you need to talk to is your wife. It isn't necessary to win over everyone else. Although it would be nice.

Go slow, and prepare to make compromises. Remember, you'll need more help as you get bigger. I know you don't want to give up your dream, but I also know you don't want to burden her either.

Sit down and have an honest conversation with her. Just tell her what's going on with you. Don't try to convince her one way or another. Just explain yourself. She needs to come to terms with your fetish before you even try to persuade her.

3 years

Munchies

How to break it to my wife.

Supercode:
Sorry if this in the wrong forum topic, but I just needed advice and wasn't sure where to post this.

Anyway, I'm a fat man ( around 450 pounds, but I don't know how big because I don't have a scale that goes that high). I'm currently in the process of losing weight because that's what my wife and family want (for health reasons. My wife assures me she would love me at any size).But I'm not happy.

I've recently come to grips with the fact that I've had feedee tendencies since I was a small child. I'm a feedee/fat admirer. And I want, no I NEED to be at least 600 pounds. I know I'm meant to take up more space, not less. I know getting to 600 pounds would probably make me unhealthy. But its what I need to be happy.

How do I break this to my wife? I know she would be terrified for my health if I got that fat. But I really think this is what I need to be happy. Does anyone have any ideas?

So, I would like to preface this by saying I am a feeder who is actively fattening my feedee to the 500 - 600 range. I am very much into extreme obesity.

With that out the way, I am going to be straight with you.

When you're that fat, it is easy to run into health complications. Diabetes, joint damage, heart issues ... the list goes on. You are an older man with a family to take care of. It's not just you that you have to keep in mind.

My advice is to fix your health before you try to be 600 lbs. Lose the weight, take your medicine, eat right. Whatever you gotta do. Then, and only then, can you consider getting that fat without them worrying as much about you.

You also need to accept you may not get that big at all.

Either way, it's easier to win your family over if they know the won't lose you.

3 years

Munchies

Fattening boyfriend

Angy523:
Well, yes, but it's kind frustrating. I think I gained more than him because he always asks me to eat when he eats. Also, he will be gone for a week with his parents and I really hope he won't lose weight again. He already has a small belly, I don't want it to disappear.[/quote]

This is what happens when you aren't direct.

Just say something like "Babe, you've always been sexy to me. But now that you're getting cuddly, I think you're even sexier. I love how well taken care of you look. I wouldn't mind if you indulged yourself some more."

Again, it's not admitting you have a fetish. Clearly, you are upset because you don't want to be the fat one. But if you don't speak up, that's going to happen.

3 years

Munchies

Why do you think so many feeders become feedees?

AskDrFeeder:
We all have various sexual tendencies, caused, no doubt by genetic and environmental factors that differ from on individual to the next. Feedism is one such tendency. Autosexuality is another. Feedees are feedists with an extra dose of autosexuality .

So, I don't know if you are aware, but autosexual is a real sexual orientation:

www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Autosexual

I think the term "self love" or "self attraction" is what you mean. Finding yourself sexually arousing is a very normal part of life. It's not an inherently autosexual trait.

3 years

Munchies

Round wife but far too conscious

Duncan:
Thanks for this wonderful answer Munchies, this is exactly my position so far. Trouble is, I couldn’t have this discussion about her insecurity so far… Working on that !

I think she is so conscious about her because she is very clever (I insist on that point). I think she tends to develop theories on her life instead of simply enjoying it. This is one of the reasons why I am procrastinating on this discussion and live in a globally satisfying status quo. Maybe not all topics can be talked over?…

They can. But it can take some time. Sometimes you might even need multiple conversations. Little baby steps.

Other times you gotta wait on the other person to open up. But be clear that you are willing to listen whenever she's ready.

For example, the next time you guys are cuddling on the sofa, you might say to her, "I just wanted you to know I love you. You are the most beautiful person in the world to me. I know you're going through something right now. Just know that no matter what it is, I'm here for you. When you're ready, I'm willing to listen and support you."

In the mean time, help her be active in little ways. For example, go on walks with her at least once a week and start buying more healthy foods. She her that you support her without pushing her to choose one thing or another .

3 years

Munchies

Round wife but far too conscious

Duncan:
So, I never thought I would be that desperate about my fantasies but I think I will need some help. I would like to get opinions and suggestions about my story.

So, my wife and I are a stable couple, two kids. My wife always had a tendency to overeat and has always been a full figure, though except in the few years when we met and married. She is much rounder now after the births and her body hypnotises me so much that I just cannot not think about her literally every minute. I would like to see her embracing herself and feel more sexy about her weight… and additionally I would like us to take more intimacy time.

Unfortunately she appears very self-conscious about her weight. She gets a little mad when I touch her belly (which drives me totally crazy) and simply tells me that "she feels being touched" meanwhile showing very little emotions. She is speaking about loosing weight but doesn’t really act.

I am almost afraid to bring a discussion about how much her weight drive my emotions as I think she will find me suspiciously insistant and could get irritated.

Any other topic of discussion is going extremely well, but how much I love her waistline seems to be a taboo.

Just a precision: we live in France now but we are from North America. We have theoretically direct access to all croissants and pastries we want.

Any ideas?

I think this goes without saying, but table the kink talk until you deal with you're wife's insecurity. Telling her that her fat belly makes you horny may backfire at this stage.

Talk to her one on one. Tell her that you find her sexy and attractive, so it makes you sad that she doesn't see herself that way.

Depending on how things go, she may be fine with keeping her belly or gaining more fat. However, you need to prepare to help her lose the weight.

It's her body and her choice. Whatever happens, she has the final say. You need to support her 100%.

3 years

Munchies