I'm ENFJ, the Teacher, lol. Soooooooo true. And a good crowd--Gorbachev, Oprah, Ralph Nader, Eleanor Roosevelt... I can live with that.

In case it helps someone tip a decision someday in the future, I just want to say the following:

There have been times when I've been without work, and in serious need of employment and food and rent money, and I've still turned down work from racists and misogynists.

If I had to do it again, I would. I don't need money so badly that I need work for haters. My friends and family respect my ethics, and they would take me in if I were so badly affected by the decision. It never came to that, because things usually work if you put your head down and work hard--even during a recession. For me, being able to live with myself matters more than whether I can only afford rice and beans for a month.

I have really enjoyed some of the threads about this topic lately. I do understand how hard it is for thin people who prefer dating us fatties, though I'm not always sure some of the thin folks extend their imagination far enough to 'walk a mile in our moccasins'.

But tonight in chat, I heard something I found outright shocking. An active member said he keeps a separate profile on a social networking site for his BBW friends. The room was surprised, and everyone encouraged him not to separate the two realms of his life, to which he said:

"I hate to be practical, but I get a lot of my work through Facebook contacts - we are in a recession _ I don't want to give anyone any excuse not to throw work my way."

That is a direct quote, copied straight from the chat window. A number of chatters were shocked and said so, and after a few attempts to spin it, the writer left the room in a huff of 'I'm so misunderstood.'

I really feel like people who are that fatphobic have no place here--how can you expect us to love you or desire you or even be friends when you're embarrassed by us? Am I alone here?

I am polyamorous, both by personality and in practice. While my partner of 23 years and I do not live together, and we are currently not sexually active together, we're still very committed to each other, and are open to the possibility of our sexuality returning. We're actively working on it.

But I also love several other men, some for many years, as well. I have had an off again/on again relationship with one man for about the same length of time as I've been married (off when he is being monogamous with a partner). Another is more recent.

I have no question about the capacity to love--and to be genuinely romantically and sexually involved with--more than one partner at a time. I would find it limiting and strange to try to live monogamously.

My partner, on the other hand, is more monogamous. He didn't feel the need to restrict me, though I don't flaunt other lovers in front of him. He is happier with one person than I am, though I imagine he has had other lovers over the years as well.

My friends who know have been as gentle and generous as they can manage. I know they have judgmental moments, which is a drag. But they handle it well enough, for which I'm grateful.

It's nice to know there are others of us here, though, so thanks for starting the thread, Jo.