I have really enjoyed some of the threads about this topic lately. I do understand how hard it is for thin people who prefer dating us fatties, though I'm not always sure some of the thin folks extend their imagination far enough to 'walk a mile in our moccasins'.

But tonight in chat, I heard something I found outright shocking. An active member said he keeps a separate profile on a social networking site for his BBW friends. The room was surprised, and everyone encouraged him not to separate the two realms of his life, to which he said:

"I hate to be practical, but I get a lot of my work through Facebook contacts - we are in a recession _ I don't want to give anyone any excuse not to throw work my way."

That is a direct quote, copied straight from the chat window. A number of chatters were shocked and said so, and after a few attempts to spin it, the writer left the room in a huff of 'I'm so misunderstood.'

I really feel like people who are that fatphobic have no place here--how can you expect us to love you or desire you or even be friends when you're embarrassed by us? Am I alone here?

I am polyamorous, both by personality and in practice. While my partner of 23 years and I do not live together, and we are currently not sexually active together, we're still very committed to each other, and are open to the possibility of our sexuality returning. We're actively working on it.

But I also love several other men, some for many years, as well. I have had an off again/on again relationship with one man for about the same length of time as I've been married (off when he is being monogamous with a partner). Another is more recent.

I have no question about the capacity to love--and to be genuinely romantically and sexually involved with--more than one partner at a time. I would find it limiting and strange to try to live monogamously.

My partner, on the other hand, is more monogamous. He didn't feel the need to restrict me, though I don't flaunt other lovers in front of him. He is happier with one person than I am, though I imagine he has had other lovers over the years as well.

My friends who know have been as gentle and generous as they can manage. I know they have judgmental moments, which is a drag. But they handle it well enough, for which I'm grateful.

It's nice to know there are others of us here, though, so thanks for starting the thread, Jo.

I hope this is hitting home for some of you who believe that we're fat because we don't know any better or don't have any self control. Some of the most intense self control I've seen in everyday life is exhibited by fat people--just think of all the liquid diets, grapefruit diets, cabbage soup diets, etc. I know you think we didn't do them, or didn't do them right, or snuck candy when no one was looking. I'm here on behalf of everyone on this thread and fat people everywhere to tell you you can kiss my fat &%*. We ALL went hungry for far longer than was sane.

Fat is a choice for some, sure. And some of us choose to be fatTER because we love it. But being fat is emphatically NOT a choice for most of us.

If you truly think you're into fat people, learn a little about us. Stop spreading the fat-hating garbage of the multibillion dollar diet and exercise industries. And start believing the people you profess to be attracted to.

Oh, my god. Thanks for looking more carefully than I, Ruby!

I read something on a site about bespoke/custom-made shoes making a comeback, with a chain of some kind, can't remember the name, and I think they mentioned boots, too. They were more expensive than I would normally spend, but not like thousands, either. I found them on some BBW site fashion links page, but now I can't remember the site, and I couldn't turn it up on Google. Not much help, huh? But they're out there.