If you want to make any relationship work, you need to have clear and effective communication. Sure, you're telling your boyfriend he isn't fat, but that isn't the same thing as assuring him you like the way he looks.

Telling him he isn't fat will only work for so long. At some point, depending on his comfort level and how big he gets, that won't work anymore. All you are doing is kicking the proverbial can down the road.

It make be true that your boyfriend isn't fat. He might just be less toned. But all that tells him is you aren't worried about his body being defined. It doesn't tell him that you'd be okay - let alone happy - if he got fat. At best, it tells him you'd tolerate his flab. At worse, it tells him you find him attractive so long as he isn't properly fat.

It would be better to assure your boyfriend that you'd love him and find him attractive at any size. At the end of the day, every man wants to feel safe, secure and loved. Doesn't matter how macho he is. He's still a person with feelings at the end of the day.

Heavy cream is good at putting weight on you. My feedee practically drinks the stuff like water, and he is huge. However, your metabolism still exists. Four days of indulgence isn't enough to change that. And if your calorie consumption isn't enough to maintain that weight, you will lose it.

It has nothing to do with the cream. There is nothing wrong with you. Its just basic biology.

That being said, you may benefit from more sustainable methods. If you are like most people and simply struggle to chug the stuff, you can use it as an ingredient for drinks and dishes. Alternatively, if the issue is price, then consider cheaper options like peanut butter.

Rapid weight gains are very difficult to sustain. You may need to adjust your expectations.

Or be super intense (and a little bit insane) like my feedee.

Ex-gainer here. I used to be in the same boat as you.

I started my journey at 115 lbs and was 5'7". I was on the high end of being underweight, and I hated it. I kept getting sick, nothing really fit me right, and I was super boney.

I also had a very high metabolism. No matter what (or how much) I ate, nothing ever stuck. And I was pretty much always eating.

I remember when I finally gained 10 lbs. Seeing the numbers go up was like a drug, and I was addicted. I'd hop on the scale upwards of 5 times a day. Everything I did was to see the numbers go up. I'd get upset if I lost even an ounce.

I was going through a lot at this time. Gaining was the only thing I had any kind of control over. So I obsessed over it. I'd eat and drink whatever I could to change my body to my liking, no matter how gross it was.

I tried to drink cooking oil a couple of times, but it was nasty as all get out, and I couldn't manage more a swallow or two. 0/10, do not recommend.

At some point , I realized I wasn't happy. I still wanted to gain, but the way I went about it made me miserable. I'd see all these other gainers and feedees enjoying life and was so jealous of them.

I had to realize that while gaining was something that I wanted, it wasn't going to fix me. I was using it as a coping mechanism. Heck, I think that I was well on my way to an eating disorder. I had to take a step back and deal with my issues in a healthy way.

It took some doing, but over time, I fell in love with gaining again - even more than I did the first time. I stopped worrying about the numbers. I ate what I enjoyed, and not what would make me fat. I even realized I didn't want to be fat. I just wanted to be bigger. So I got buff.

I stopped gaining a few years ago. My weight fluctuates between 165 and 168. I'm happy with myself now. I love what I see in the mirror, and I am grateful that I decided to gain weight in the first place. Not just because I got bigger, but because it challenged me to reevaluate who I am as a person and to be my best self.

I know it can be scare and hard to do. But I know you are strong enough to do it. If you were strong enough to start this journey, then I have every confidence that you're strong enough to do this too

This wasn't a "racial preference" as you put it. A racial preference would be them preferring white people, but if a POC came along, and they hit it off, they wouldn't be against that.

For them, race is a deal breaker. As in "if you aren't white, I won't even talk to you." They literally said, "Age doesn't matter, but race does."

This is not to say that the other things you mentioned aren't worth raising an eyebrow over - specifically the frequent deletions and demographic changes. But this should be on the list too.

Did not know that. Doing me a heckin' educate, my friend.

This is a really good way of putting it. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Be safe hun, and get tested. I hope you don't have COVID, but it never hurts to be sure. Especially since all of your roommates have it.

This is all very good. I do hope that NB people jump in because I would hate for non-NB people to come up with something instead of NBs deciding what they want. That would be the suck otherwise.

It's a group effort. Culture's what you make of it. You do what you can, where you can, and encourage others to join you.

As I said, the root of the issue is toxicity. It's not enough to be a decent person. You also have to push back against that behavior and encourage others to be better.

It's like they say. Be the change you want to see in the world. Take me, for example. I frequently get messages from people (mostly men) who saw my forum posts and want advice on being a better feeder/feedee/gainer. And since my advice is more holistic, the conversation inevitably shifts from "how can I get fatter or be a better feeder" to "how can I be my best self."

The topics are pretty heavy. I make them reconsider how they see this kink, women, themselves, and the world. But I can do it because I create a safe space for them. I don't judge them for how they come to me. Instead, I give them the grace, wisdom, and encouragement they need to start their journey.

Sometimes they come back later for advice. Sometimes they don't. But whatever happens, I know they have a better chance of being happier and fulfilled than before we met.

It's hard for me to realize how many men actually behave, as it is so far from how I interact with men and women. Though, one time, a friend (woman) showed me her inbox on a dating site we both used. I noticed that she had multiple more messages than me, but the quality was way under what I had expected. Most were comments of tits, lousy dating invitations in the first message etc. I can understand the frustration from women who try to be serious. It is also frustrating for serious men who's messages drown in the mailbox due to that. I don't ever mailbomb, if there is mutual intrest I get a reply I presume.
It is not easy to find matches on a regular dating site if one has a fetish, so there's not much to choose from except ff or feabie.

I've been told that there used to be more women on here, but I imagine the creeps ran them off.

I'm lucky in that I'm not looking for a partner on here. While I did meet my feedee on here (whom I adore), I realize just how lucky we were to connect. He is part of a handful of decent people on here

So yeah. Women are here, but we are in the minority because of too many toxic creeps. As a result, the men on here get more desperate for some kind of female interaction. This leads the more ... opportunistic men to take advantage of the poor saps.

And from what I've seen around here, it works.