I think underdog's post is fantastically sensible. And I love the idea of someone encouraging me not only to keep eating but to keep moving, too--this is particularly hard for me because of non-weight-related health issues.

I keep small weights around and do some stuff to counteract being essentially sedentary, but if someone were around frequently and encouraging me to eat more, it would be all the more important for that person to be encouraging me to keep moving as well.

Two points:

1. I really find it shocking that people here aren't more critical of the propaganda about weight and health. I know the docs, including my dear friend Stavros, will disagree, but there are very good studies to suggest that the medical industry likes calling fat an epidemic, and makes lots of very good money off it.

Now let me be clear. I am not saying there's no relationship between fat and certain health issues. What I am saying, rather, is that medical researchers are so so happy to leap on the bandwagon of blaming fat, that the quality of the research is compromised.

And I'm not making that up all by my little lonesome. There are plenty of books and articles out there to read if you want to. While there's MUCH more to say on this issue, as it pertains to this thread, that's that.

2. Someone once asked me the following question, and she was right: Would you stop being friends with a smoker? Is that so different than a gainer choosing some health risks for the pleasure s/he chooses?

I think we all leap to say 'Oh, no, no health risks' quite quickly, me included. But this is an intriguing questions. Flying in a plane is a health risk, but we choose to do it. So where are the stats acceptable and not? and as Treasure pointed out, do we have good data on our own risk groups? and are the studies differentiated enough to allow us to make good calculations? I don't think this one is as simple as it seems.

*giggle* I'm not sure 200 lbs qualifies as a big, soft belly in my book.

I'd like to see how I feel at around 300 lbs., and see if I feel like I could handle more.

As for guys, I like guys of most sizes and shapes, but I do love a really big fat guy, 3-400 lbs. Yum.

Well, I think more people would experiment with it if they

a) knew it existed (see jester's post above);

understood that we aren't all killers like the fat community and movies like *Feeder* make us out to be.

As someone who has yet to find a workable feeding relationship in a reasonable distance from where I live--and I admit, I'm picky, but I'm entitled to want to be around people I like and can talk to and find attractive!--I really feel the need for a change in our public profile.

But I began this thread with Earthling's question ringing in my ears. Does no one else wish there were more of us? or that it seemed ok to suggest experimenting with feeding to dates? or listing it on a dating website as an interest?

If you answered yes to any of those three questions, doesn't that logically mean our public profile needs some help?

In the thread that Max started, there's been a big debate about being 'out' as an FA and so on, and there was a loose consensus that one should be out as an FA but not as a feeder. The basic idea here is that feeding is a sexual practice, and therefore not anyone's business.

But someone had to be talking about BDSM publicly to make it more acceptable--when I was a kid, it was thought of as grotesque and horrific, and now it's something that ordinary couples can consider trying out, and it's easy to get gear for everything from the mildest to the most intense practices.

I'm not preaching any particular course of action, but I am asking a question: am I alone in caring about the public profile of feeding? do others of you long for a time when we're less hidden? I don't want to tell everyone what I do--not by ANY means--but I do wish I didn't have to be embarrassed and secretive about it.

Is there a way forward? Do you want one?