My idea of a perfect Super Bowl this year ends with the Falcons crushing the Patriots, causing Tom Brady to break down, pee his pants, and scamper back to the locker room weeping hysterically in front of millions of people.

Of course, the Patriots will probably win, again, because they're supposed to.

You're still relatively young. I had the same problem when I was thin and tried gaining in my teens and 20's. Even after gorging for months, the most I gained was 15 pounds. I'm not saying this to discourage you; it's just been my experience--and according to what I've read--that metabolisms tend to start slowing when you hit 25-30 years of age.
After I turned 30 I tried gaining again, and put on 90 pounds total (I'm real short so that's a lot) over three years, with most of the weight coming in the first eighteen months.

Time, patience, and dedication are crucial. Most gainers want faster results, but ime it's better to think in terms of months than weeks.

The simple act of standing up after laying down in bed or on the couch is definitely more of a "procedure", since I now have to contend with this big, round, soft, jiggly mountain of fat at my core where my abs used to be. I also haven't really exercised in years and can't even do 1 legitimate sit-up... the struggle is real!

(Of course just thinking about this is a major turn-on and makes me want to be even fatter and lazier.)

I'm also very short, so when I try to reach a tall shelf in my kitchen, my belly bumps up against the counter and no amount of sucking it in helps to reach. (If I lived with a feeder, they could totally tease me by hiding sweets up there!)

I received my first public fat shaming earlier this year... AT MY FATHER'S FUNERAL. Apparently an acquaintance of my father felt that was an appropriate time and place to confront me, very loudly, about my weight gain. I brushed it off as best I could, but it was crazily insensitive and very hurtful.
I don't know if this guy had some vendetta against my dad that just spilled over to me, or what was going through his mind--if anything. Maybe he just never got the memo that funerals are not the most appropriate place to harass and insult the family members of the deceased..?

(I saw the movie a long time ago.)
How would I react? With horror! All my hard work reversing itself against my will? Yikes.
As gypsy curses go, I'd much prefer to be the victim of a "Fatter" curse...

^Great comment, flyinghorse.

For most of my life I was a fat person trapped in a thin person's body. I fantasized about being fat but could never seal the deal. But over the last couple years, I've managed to completely transform not only my body but my mind. In my spare time, I just laze about and eat. When I'm not eating, I'm thinking about eating. I feel hungry almost constantly--even when I'm full!

I'm totally committed now, since there's pretty much no chance of ever going back to a 'normal' weight again.

...first time I stumbled across the notion of a "gaining contract". What a brilliant, tantalizing, sexy idea! It creates a scenario where submission, domination, weight gain, and sex become inextricably and 'inescapably' linked.

I'm not sure if it's 'normal' but it's not to be entirely unexpected. Weight gain does a lot of things, such as changing your posture; and if you've gained in such a way that you've lost enough muscle and gained enough fat, your spine and back will be affected to some extent.

I'm much shorter than you (5'4 vs. 6'1) and I've experienced some mild, (mid-to-upper) back pain as a result of gaining.

From what I understand, moderate exercise can ameliorate the discomfort over time. Can't testify personally as to the efficacy--(as I don't really exercise...) but it seems to make sense.

Marvelous idea!
Though I can't really compete right now, I would like to place bets. Good luck, fatties!