Just say "I realized I'm happier if I just eat what I want."

This is not a lie and should be a sufficient explanation. If they say something like "But you're getting fat!" just say you're okay with that.

Some people fantasize about gaining for years. Then one day they just don't want to put it off any longer. They jump right in with both feet and start eating a lot more and gaining.

They don't always know why they started when they did. I suspect it's because they got inspired somehow, by seeing others people gain or something like that. Or it maybe something changes so they're no longer bothered by what other people think. This last one often happens when they move to a different place, somewhere they don't know anyone.

It seems like they're always happy about their decision, but of course if they weren't they'd be unlikely to talk to me about it.

Once you're fat you don't have to worry about getting fat. It'll be a fait accompli.

Has anyone ever used this rationale to ease their doubts about gaining?

Munchies:
I mean, becoming financially stable is important, but that's not nearly enough. [/quote]

Never said it was. And I agree that people often place too much importance to money.

My point is that in the absence of a feedee or feedee candidate, one thing a feeder can do is get their financial house in order, to facilitate a feedist relationship should one come along.

Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy anything.

You are not the only one. It's hard to find the right person, but hang in there. And while you wait, get your financial house in order. There are few better feeders than ones who can easily afford food, clothes, plane tickets and such.

I guess I was thinking more about flag _shirts_. Individuals might want to be more specific about their preferences. I don't have an example of one of the more specific-pattern shirts but this'll give you the idea:

fantasyfeeder.com/pics/photo

Like I said, I'm just spitballing. If anyone has better ideas, feel free to post them.

Very nice, just a few notes:

1. I don't think you should say feedism is "addictive". It can be, but it doesn't have to be and it's probably better if it isn't.

2. Maybe I missed it, but you should mention that part of the fun of feedism is the ability to eat all you want without guilt. Once you decide to get fat (or fatter), there is no shame in having that extra doughnut or whatever. In fact, you may even feel a responsibility to eat it.

3. Another part of the fun is the increase in capacity as you get bigger. If eating a lot is fun, eating more than a lot will be even more fun.

4. And of course, if a feedee can find a feeder--as can happen on fantasy feeder--that also ramps up the fun. If you have a feeder, overeating and gaining are not merely guilt-free but become acts of generosity.

Just spitballing here. These patterns could be used for flags or clothing:

fantasyfeeder.com/pics/photo

Basically! Here's some more detailed advice I gave someone once:

Dear Dr. Feeder,
My name is Amanda. Last year I began university, and because of this had to move away from home onto campus. One thing I had promised myself to do when I moved out of home was to gain weight. Since moving onto Campus I have just let myself go completely, and as a result gained 50lbs. However, this summer I will be visiting my mother back home whom is very into healthy eating, and so forth. Let me say right now that I am not loosing any weight whatsoever for her, nor do I intend to stop. But, I do not know what to say to her to avoid her from being too upset.
What can I say to prevent her from being too angry?--Amanda, April 2, 2009

Dear Amanda,
You may not be able to keep her from being angry. Settle for keeping her from nagging you to death. Try:

1. If she gets angry, DON'T get angry yourself.
2. If she asks why you gained, say it's because you like to eat and don't mind the extra weight.
3. If she asks you why you don't diet, say you've tried diets and have found you're happier eating what you want.
4. If she makes a comment about your weight that is not in the form of a question, don't respond.
5. If she says something mean, say "Now you're just being mean."

And remember the three NEVERs:

NEVER apologize for your gain;
NEVER apologize for your size;
NEVER apologize for your appetite.

If she tries to get you to eat healthy food (fruit & vegetables, etc.) go ahead and eat it. It will make her feel better. You can still eat your favorite goodies as well.
If she won't shut up about it, say 'look, I know you're just saying all this because you love me and you want what's best for me, and I appreciate that, but it's my decision and you need to respect that.'
Let me know how it goes!--Dr. Feeder

Dear Dr. Feeder,
Sorry for the long reply period, I only flew in a couple of days ago. As you can imagine, it wasn't great at all. But surprisingly I didn't feel down about it whatsoever! When I first gave my mother a hug, she put her hand on my stomach and patted and squeezed it, constantly glancing down at it. It was horribly awkward. For some reason I expected that would be it. Later that night she gave me a brief "discussion" about my weight and asked me if anything was wrong and so forth. I explained to her exactly what you suggested, that I was happy the way I was and didn't feel the need to diet. Amazingly though, that was it!
Thankfully, she hasn't said anything else yet about my weight which I'm very pleased with. Thank-you so much for your help - the food here is quite healthy, so for that reason I'm looking forward to returning home where I can eat what I like.
Again, thank-you so much for the wonderful advice,--Amanda, May 4, 2009

Dear Amanda,
You're welcome, I'm glad it worked out.--Dr. Feeder