Ugh, I wrote out this great response that addressed every point Wat made, but there were so many points raised that I can't edit it down to fit in the character limit, lol. The TLDR is that most of the problems he identified are real, but his conclusions are all wrong, like he gave seriously terrible advice. And all of my arguments were probably very convincing, you're just gonna have to trust me on that one, haha
Might post it later, idk

You're listing off all of these negative personality traits, and maybe there's some truth there, but I don't think they're as bad as you say. Depression has killed all of your self-esteem, and so you're being really harsh on yourself. It's like a form of verbal self-harm. Try to imagine that you're talking to someone else who's in your position. Would you be so critical of them? If not, then you probably shouldn't do that to yourself. (At least that's what my therapist keeps telling me, haha) You might feel like you're worthless right now, but you have no idea what your potential is, or the things you could accomplish if depression weren't an obstacle. Try not to compare yourself to others. Everyone's path through life is different. Instead, you can compare yourself to how you were yesterday, and focus on what you can do today to make things better by a small amount. Eventually that will add up to real change.

Here is my honest advice for anyone with depression: There IS treatment available, and it does work for many people. You can find so many people's stories about how they recovered and what they did. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying.

1. Try to find a therapist. If they're not helping you, then look for a different one. Having setbacks in your recovery doesn't mean that treatment won't ever work for you.
2. You should be open to antidepressants as a treatment option. It may not be what's best for everyone, but they have helped a lot of people. Keep in mind that if you do find the medication that's right for you, it won't cure you or lift your mood, it will just create a baseline and stop your lows from getting too low.
3. Start exercising daily. Not to lose weight, but because it will give you endorphins.
4. Go for a walk outside every day with no agenda but to look at trees. Being close to nature has a very soothing effect.
5. Keep up with your hygiene and try to clean the mess in your house bit by bit. Feeling disgusted with yourself and your environment is going to make your depression worse.
6. Keep a good sleep schedule. Get your 8 hours and wake up in the mornings, not the afternoon. You need rest to heal, including your mind.
7. Make plans to regularly hang out with a friend in person, even if you think you'll hate it. Humans are social creatures and we don't do well when we're isolated.

There are studies supporting all of these, but you have to stick to it even if you can't tell if it's helping. And yeah, it's going to be exhausting, but the potential rewards if it does work would be worth it, right? Try to imagine a fantasy world where you feel good and everything in your life is in a good place. It's absolutely possible for anyone to get there, including you. But you have to fight for it, or it won't ever happen. It's a long and hard road, but it's absolutely guaranteed to happen for you if you can find the right steps to take.

Now, regarding dating, you should probably put that aside for now until you're in a better place. Navigating and maintaining a relationship (and her respect for you) can be difficult at the best of times; so if you're full of self-loathing and doubt, it's going to be a non-starter. I understand that the loneliness might be a major cause of your depression though, so if you really need intimacy in order to recover, I do have some advice. Try to look for casual relationships/friends with benefits only. When there are no expectations other than to enjoy each other's company, there is SO much less pressure, and less anxiety as a result. It doesn't have to be meaningful, emotions don't have to get involved, you can just get some of that good oxytocin and be on your way. You can always pursue something more serious later when you have more self-confidence. I know you asked for tips on how to succeed with dating. I can say the first thing to keep in mind is that fun is absolutely the order of the day, so it's best not to bring the mood down or unload all of your problems. Serious emotional support is something you could have with a long-term relationship, but probably not when you're just dating. There is more advice I could give, but this is really not the best place for it.

Same here. When I try to rush I get heartburn as well. I think because when you're hurrying, you're not taking enough time to chew, so you end up with more solid food in your stomach that's harder to digest. My coping mechanism is just talking less, and trying to get comfortable with the idea of making people wait for you, lol

Low angle shots are usually pretty great

Personally, I'm not bothered with women making a girls only club if they want to. Although, I think the objections Munchies raised are all valid.

Bumble has a mechanism for preventing men from messaging first. There are also women-only facebook groups, subreddits, forums, etc. Maybe the safe space you're looking for already exists in some form?

That's not meant to discourage whatever this project is. I'm still not sure what someone is supposed to do on the site, other than feel safe. Is it for discussion, microblogging, networking, dating, or what? Knowing what it's specifically for could change your method of moderating it.

I was filling out the survey until question 10. I agree that there are problems with how it's framed. Seems like your options are either to encourage weight loss, or be manipulative. For me it's neither. There's no option for having a neutral conversation about it and letting the feedee decide for themselves. Also, the two options for immobility are duplicates. The only difference is that one uses caps.

In the end, I decided not to submit.

My bad. I guess I just assumed because of how active you are on the site. I don't really expect that from regular users anymore. This community has changed a lot in the last decade.

If the conversation is over, please lock the thread.

This advice is generally good, but what makes it manipulation is the secrecy and the intent to pavlov her without consent. Don't do that to people. Instead, just have open and honest communication, and let her have control over how much exploring she wants to do.

But yeah, ease her into it gently. Don't try to do a big stuffing or pick anything too heavy. Try to avoid the uncomfortable parts of feeding. I'd pick something light, like a dessert she likes. Then just hand feed her and pamper her as a part of foreplay. Do all the normal erotic things between bites, I'm sure you know how to take it from there. You can always work up to something more another time if she likes it. But do stop the moment she tells you she's full.

Unless it's a BDSM thing and she wants to be dominated. In which case you'll have to walk that tightrope of putting her in subspace while not overwhelming her.

I don't know why I'm wading into this minefield, but here goes. I think the point that was being made was that most people are out here treating each other like objects. Men treat women like a piece of meat, and women treat men like an ATM. So the dynamic is different between men and women, but we're all humans and the hurt feelings are universal. The cycle that was being referred to was that nobody likes feeling used, and the kneejerk reaction for some people is to get defensive and pay it forward (regardless of gender). Yes, a lot of men are very culpable in this, but ultimately I don't think pointing fingers and blaming others for who started it is really that productive. The end result is still the same, a toxic environment for everybody.

The problem is too wide and runs too deep for simple solutions or for any one group to fix on their own. The only solution I can see is for every single person to make it a hostile environment for anyone who objectifies or dehumanizes others (regardless of gender), including calling out the moderators for not doing their job, as well as leading by example. On Feabie, I have seen some of this in action, men calling out the bad behavior of toxic men, and women criticizing toxic women. That's good, but there's not enough of it to make a real difference. Also, it always means SO much more when people police their own, instead of criticizing other groups. That's a great way to make everyone get defensive and reactionary and stop listening. This is 100% a team effort.

For clarity: No, this post is not aimed at being critical of anyone in this thread. No, I am not blaming women for anything. No, it's not their responsibility to stop men from acting predatory. Yes, a lot of men are contributing to this toxic environment. No, men are not the only ones doing so. No, I don't think it's equivalent in severity. Yes, this problem is complicated. Yes, that means it needs everyone on board to police bad behavior. Yes, on both sides. No, I have not personally done enough, mostly because I have social anxiety and I hate confrontation, but I'm working on it.

P.S. This post is my attempt to lead by example and try to steer this into a civil discussion. No, I'm not looking for pats on the back, I point it out so that others might try to do the same elsewhere.