* I would never ever ask someone if they are pregnant.

* I occasionally wonder about people, but I know enough people with big round bellies--esp postmenopause--that I don't dwell on the subject.

* I don't think you can necessarily tell if something is maternity or not, unless you're really looking. If you're looking that closely, then you've got some kind of agenda that I don't really care about.

I know it's easy to say, but you really shouldn't worry. And to be honest, if you're going out in miniskirts, you're already braver in your fashion choices than I am, so I'm not sure I can offer anything!

I'm really confused. Did you post the same request in two different forums?

Yeah. In a sane world, chubbyhoney would be right, and we'd all agree that it's simply too difficult to make the case that people's illnesses are their own fault. Even in the case of smoking, where the connection between one's action and one's illness is clearly demonstrated, it's nonetheless clear that some people smoke and have no ill effects at all. So we are at least talking about something that has more than one cause, as I think most things do.

But we live in a time/culture/society in which obesity (the illness of fat) is clearly thought (despite evidence) to be the single cause of many illnesses. I don't think people are terribly logical, and I don't think logic prevails in policy decision-making. Which is why I don't think it's as out of the question as chubbyhoney does.

I think there's a change happening in our communities, a generational shift. While there have always been happy, proud fat people, women my age were taught--mainly by each other--that we had to be careful because it wouldn't be easy for us to 'hold on to' our men. There was a very clear 'beggars can't be choosers' mentality about fat women; I remember my cousin, who was also fat and some years older, explaining it to me.

For a generation of people who've grown up with the internet, with knowing that there are FAs, with maybe even seeing fat activist blogs and so on, such handed down 'wisdom' is less likely to stick. Audrey's anger is a perfect example, and it's right and good. I'm very grateful that young fat women can grow up knowing how beautiful and desirable they are.

Hee hee. I thought the same thing.

As someone who is a long-time fat liberation activist and also practicing feeding, can you help me understand why the two are 'not exactly compatible'?

Yeah, true, but that's always the way. You eat mostly mediocre food, and every so often have something fabulous. You watch mostly mediocre--at best!--movies and tv, but every once in a while there's a life-changer.

Similarly, you date lots of crappy people who treat you badly so that you can meet someone who totally rocks your world.

I think it's important to talk about the problems--which I suspect are partly going to be true of any fetish site, but are amped up here by the negative images being fed to us *constantly* by fat-hating friend, family, and the media. It just makes it that much harder to hold your head high and do what's right.

But--and this is a VERY BIG *BUT*--we so often lose sight of the successes that happen all the time here. Romances, marriages, important friendships, small local communities, and all kinds of things happen while we're complaining about how bad things are.

I'm glad Atomic is asking us to count our blessings. And there's a lot to count.

I'm with john. Get a second opinion. Or, tell the doctor that you've tried, and you haven't been able to lose the weight, and ask what s/he suggests.

I *so* didn't mean to shut down the convo. In all seriousness, what do you all make of the arguments that national health shouldn't have to pay for us, because we make our own bad health?

Maybe we should do a thought experiment. Should national health cover smokers who get lung cancer? Alcoholics with cirrhosis of the liver? Fat people who need dialysis from complications due to diabetes?