Fantasy Feeder

Ladies safety (trans welcome)

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Enas:
Its not just the "boys will be boys" but the entier culture that just screams narcissism all the time. Even the women who themselves say "I want a bad boy" are helping perpertuate this

ArcticVixen:
I think you are misinterpreting the expression. "Bad boy" is a Western (usually American) trope where a guy in a piece of media is rebellious and seems cool. Such as the characters in the musical Grease. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_boy_archetype

No woman wants to be in a abusive relationship.

There is no problem in clasifying even the Nazis as "bad boys", based on what the archetype entails. The two are not contradictory in any way. They posed as rebelious (note the word posed) and, at least in their time, many people considered them as very cool.

And i dont think there is someone who wants to be in an abusive relationship, but it might be the case that people dont always recognize abusive behavior as such, at least not until its too late and they are already trapped.

2 months

Enas

Ladies safety (trans welcome)

Munchies:
Nope.

sprays you with water again

Still not listening. Still missing the point. Will it take a man for you to start paying attention?

Is your point that, with what i said, i make it look as if its women's fault that men are encouraged to be bad?

If thats your point, then i get it. Proof for that is i just articulated. Can we stop arguing about if i got it or not now?

Again, the accusation i made is on culture. The people who affect culture are those who control the means of mental production (tv/radio stations, entertaimnent franchises, etc). Do women own those? Hardly ever if not at all.

Im saying this just so you know where im coming from.

This thread exists as a way to have a dialog about how women and trans people can feel safer in kink space.

Im gonna point this out just to illustrate that your response was not well thought out. Its not about how they can feel safe, its about how they can be safe! Obviously, you dont just wanna feel safe when you are in danger.

Some cis men (including you) waltz in with "solutions" that do not address concerns and miss the point.
...

I didnt even attempt to provide a solution so far, i've only really pointed two things out.

You could say that i tried to define the problem clearly. That, ultimately, its about recognizing patterns of abusive behavior early (i think i said something like that). Do you think there is a problem there?

2 months

Enas

Ladies safety (trans welcome)

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Enas:
Its not just the "boys will be boys" but the entier culture that just screams narcissism all the time. Even the women who themselves say "I want a bad boy" are helping perpertuate this

Munchies:
sprays you with water

We are not doing this today.

Every time people like you go "Yeah, but women do this," all it does is shift the responsibility off of men and onto women to do better.

You are not helping. You are hurting. Knock it off.

I think you missed my point. Im acussing the entier culture here, and im bringing the example with those specific women, so as to justify how broad of an accusation i am making.

Im not playing some cheap game of shifting the blame, i have zero interest, i've actually studied how culture perpetuates and reproduces itself and those kind of phenomena.

Obviously its then men who are, encouraged even, to do harm.

2 months

Enas

Ladies safety (trans welcome)

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Its not just the "boys will be boys" but the entier culture that just screams narcissism all the time. Even the women who themselves say "I want a bad boy" are helping perpertuate this

2 months

Enas

Ladies safety (trans welcome)

Stuffytummywriter:
oh hello, a thread where OP specifically asked cis men to take a step back and listen full of men deciding they needed to dissect and argue every single one of OPs word choices. who'd have thought

Did you read my first reply? The big one? I explicitly stated why excluding cis men from this particular discussion is problematic.

2 months

Enas

Learning new things

Screemtee:
it only took me several years of being a feeder to realize i’m a little too into dom feeders😭 pray for my waistline. screaming into the void as usual

Dude, thats exactly like me 3 or 4 years ago! 🤣

My wasteline is still... "normal", godamn it...

2 months

Enas

Ladies safety (trans welcome)

Munchies:
...
Men as a whole are more likely to listen to another man before they listen to another gender.

Out of everything, that frustates me the most.

I have a suspicion that those men who only listen to other men only do it for self-serving purposes. Like, so as to give the impression that they are competent!

2 months

Enas

Just a bbw findomme/domme that wants to be worshipped

Celeste2024:
Any submissive men into the same kink want to connect?

Munchies:
You should get in contact with this guy:
fantasyfeeder.com/forum/posts

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Someone's gotta be coordinating behind the scenes!

Edit, what the hell? It appears as my (before the edit) response is within the quote block!

2 months

Enas

Ladies safety (trans welcome)

Morbidly A Beast:
a sausage party is when it’s a bunch of dudes and no women.

engaging in non-consensual predatory behavior is rapey, the rapist, murderer, etc doesn’t see the harm in what they are doing.

Gotcha!

2 months

Enas

Ladies safety (trans welcome)

Munchies, thanks for trying to understand what i wrote, im sorry for not articulating things well enough myself! ;-;

Alright, let me take this bit by bit:

Let's get a couple things out the way. Rape is a form of abuse.

Yes! Actually i think i said it myself somewhere!

OP has made no attempt in saying rape is worse than abuse.

Thats correct!

You are putting words in her mouth.

Well, not really. Im not acussing her, im saying that, i think society at large has this implicit assumption of rape being worse than abuse. This is not being said explicitly, but the way many, but not all, people behave (for example, the way in which they decide how to argue) shows that they unconciously believe that.

She asked in you considered secret feedings as a form of rape due to the sexual nature.

Yeah. I Didn’t answer on that, but doing it now might help illustrate what i meant.

If by rape we mean sexual assault, then we shouldn't consider it as rape per se, because of two reasons. It lacks the assault element, in fact if its something done in decrecy, its antithetical to it being an assault. And partly because of the above, it lacks the consequences that rape trends to have. You dont run the risk of developing PTSD, or becoming pregnant, or even suffer inguries. Calling it rape means we necesarily give up on the precise meaning of the word that entails these important consequences. So we are undermining the awareness of the general public by doing that.

No one is saying it isn't abuse. There's a reason why the community goes aggro when someone starts posting secret feeding advice.

Thats correct!

For the last paragraph... I guess there is a language barrier for me. I dont know what this phrase means:

These spaces are sausage parties for a reason

2 months

Enas