Hi,

I'm not sure how many people I'm out to, because I have fat activist books on my bookshelves (which my students use like a lending library) and I talk about such things rather openly. So lots of people know I'm unapologetic about my size.

My family and very close friends know I like being fat and like fat men, though not exclusively. My live-out partner and one of my closest friends know about my interest in feeding and gaining. And several people know by default, because they use my comp and have seen FF--my daughter, my assistant, my upstairs neighbour. So I'm sure they know.

I find that easier than actually talking with them about it, somehow. I don't really need to have a big conversation about my sexuality, but I would like some people to know that some of us don't wanna be skinny, and not only prefer fat but also prefer fatTER.

When I was a kid and a school nurse hassled me about my weight, my father said 'You have my permission to answer her next time with "Better fat in the ass than in the head".' Never had to use it, but love havin' it in my pocket.

And as for noses and such? SOOOOOOOOO not ok to use any kind of identity--ethnic, racial, religious, body size, sexuality, ANYthing--as part of an insult. It's just ethically wrong, so let's not. And no, I don't need to get a sense of humour, I have a very robust, carefully nurtured and well-respected one, many thanks. Yeah.

Dear Feedmeplz,

I suggest you wonder a bit about who gave you the ideas you just spouted. They've been around forever, and they may just be a cover for our higher sex drive.

It is without a doubt true that when I gain my sex drive goes up. That's partly becaue I'm turned on by getting fatter, but I suspect that isn't all of it.

My several bits:

1. I had thought you could add fat cells but not lose them, but maybe that's older info than what you all have.

2. My story is almost exactly like Ruby's. My belly is definitely a middle-aged acquisition. I gather that's not uncommon.

3. As has been commented on in other threads, you can gain in one pattern, then lose, and regain in a different pattern. Many of us have done so.

Fun, huh? Kinda like gambling, really...