When I was a kid and a school nurse hassled me about my weight, my father said 'You have my permission to answer her next time with "Better fat in the ass than in the head".' Never had to use it, but love havin' it in my pocket.

And as for noses and such? SOOOOOOOOO not ok to use any kind of identity--ethnic, racial, religious, body size, sexuality, ANYthing--as part of an insult. It's just ethically wrong, so let's not. And no, I don't need to get a sense of humour, I have a very robust, carefully nurtured and well-respected one, many thanks. Yeah.

Dear Feedmeplz,

I suggest you wonder a bit about who gave you the ideas you just spouted. They've been around forever, and they may just be a cover for our higher sex drive.

It is without a doubt true that when I gain my sex drive goes up. That's partly becaue I'm turned on by getting fatter, but I suspect that isn't all of it.

My several bits:

1. I had thought you could add fat cells but not lose them, but maybe that's older info than what you all have.

2. My story is almost exactly like Ruby's. My belly is definitely a middle-aged acquisition. I gather that's not uncommon.

3. As has been commented on in other threads, you can gain in one pattern, then lose, and regain in a different pattern. Many of us have done so.

Fun, huh? Kinda like gambling, really...

Hi, John,

As for your first category--I lost a whole bunch of people who mattered to me when I got a virus through yahoo four years ago or so, and couldn't get back into my account to retrieve their addies or anything. I'm sure a lot of people with whom I would LOVE to be in touch think I'm a thoughtless insensitive jerk.

Sometimes, it might not be what it seems...?