Piggy Teaser:
Whatever is making you feel powerless in your life, that you need to attack strangers on the internet and try to present yourself as morally superior to them, as well as using infantilising language to belittle them, I really hope it gets better and that you work it all out xx

Piggy Teaser:
My ultimate turn on is ruining someone's life by making them so fat xx

Munchies:


The number one rule of any kink is Safe, Sane, and Consensual. This one certainly breaks the first two.


To be clear, I'm not kink-shaming ruination kinks. There's a way to indulge in that that doesn't break the first kink rule. Ruining someone's life isn't that.

Piggy Teaser:
Would you be saying that if I was a cis femdom woman talking about keeping a sub's cock in a cage until it shrivelled up?

What about financial domination? look around on the net, you'll find plenty of people using that language and plenty of people to whom it appeals.
You are most definitely kink shaming, if this doesn't appeal to you, I suggest you find another post to read xx

Munchies:
Babes, I don't care for people who get off on ruining people's lives. That's different from things like ruining their figure or something.

It's very, very easy to go from "I get off on ruining people's lives" to straight-up abuse.

Piggy Teaser:
Mate, it's a figure of speech and now you're getting into semantics.
I responded to a post on this topic that the OP clearly gets off on.
Go and find something else to be recreationally outraged about or show everyone what a moral safe, righteous person you are -that's the real red flag, the one that is constantly pointing the finger and trying to demonstrate their moral high ground.
You're kink shaming and your implications about my character are completely unfounded and downright hurtful.

Piggy Teaser:
My ultimate turn on is ruining someone's life by making them so fat xx

Munchies:


The number one rule of any kink is Safe, Sane, and Consensual. This one certainly breaks the first two.


To be clear, I'm not kink-shaming ruination kinks. There's a way to indulge in that that doesn't break the first kink rule. Ruining someone's life isn't that.

Piggy Teaser:
Would you be saying that if I was a cis femdom woman talking about keeping a sub's cock in a cage until it shrivelled up?

What about financial domination? look around on the net, you'll find plenty of people using that language and plenty of people to whom it appeals.
You are most definitely kink shaming, if this doesn't appeal to you, I suggest you find another post to read xx

Piggy Teaser:
My ultimate turn on is ruining someone's life by making them so fat xx

Munchies:
Just wanna point out that your second therapist is unbelievably stupid and needs to educate themselves. Lotta aces participate in kink.

Fat Dreams:
I left out a lot of context. Sure ace people can participate in fetish, but can a person still be ace if their fetish (and only their fetish) makes them desire sex? Maybe gray ace? I think the definition can get complicated and subjective at that point.

This is why I started going after guys into extreme weight gain. They don't lose weight when you show interest in them and love it when you make them fatter.

HueOrdner:
But where do I find those guys? There are some Austrian feedees at the forum here, but after chatting for a bit most turned out to be weird or creepy, so I never met a feedee in the country I live in.

J8o8h8n:
I always go back and forth with the idea of gaining, and I think some of it might have to do with the fact that I am not sure how my wife would react. She, and quite a few of my friends, know I like heavier women and my wife knows I really enjoyed it when she gained a ton of weight over the course of our relationship, but no one knows that I sometimes play around with wanting to intentionally get fat myself.

I'm worried about how that conversation might potentially go, especially more recently since she has had to lose a bit of weight herself due to negative health issues related to her gaining almost 180 lbs over the course of our relationship (she's down about 40-50 from her peak weight, but still 350ish lbs). I feel like it might come across as insensitive/uncaring if I tell her I want to intentionally pack on weight and become fat when her getting fatter ended up having negative health consequences.

I have thrown around the idea of maybe telling her that I want to experiment a bit and get a little bit chubby, maybe 200-250 lbs (I'm currently around 170) to see what it would feel like, because I've always been a bit curious about it. I definitely enjoy hur curves and when she had packed on extra pounds and the idea of gaining weight myself has been something that I've gone back and forth on for a while, but I haven't gone all in on it because I value her thoughts on it and I wouldn't want to do it without my partner knowing about it. I'd also make it clear that if there starts to be negative health consequences with the gain, I'd stop.

I might also try to appeal to the fact that she sometimes wants to take a more dominant role in the bedroom and I could use that fact to get her in a position where she can take a more dominant role by feeding me and encouraging me to gain (appealing to things we both want to try). Curious to see what other people's thoughts are? I'm hoping to finally come to a decision and get it off my chest soon. (If I do and she's on board, maybe I could see how big I can get before my next Doctor's appointment in November lol?)

Stockylove:
I'm writing this because I don't really know how to name what I have, but as the title suggests, my sexuality and flaws are all about big bellies and nothing else. And I have a lot of problems with big bellies. I absolutely cannot be sexually attracted to a skinny or thin man. It's like my big belly fetish takes up so much space that it overshadows everything else. If it doesn't involve the belly, it often doesn't excite me. I sometimes wonder if I'm asexual or graysexual. Perhaps if this belly fetish and its procession of other oddities that accompany it had never germinated in my childhood brain. Maybe I would have had more standard sexual desires or maybe I would have remained potentially Ace. I don't know, but this "mono-obsession" with the belly means that I have a very low percentage chance of finding a person who has the right body and shares the same fetishes as me in reality. And that's part of why I signed up for sites like grommr. Because I have no choice. I think a lot of people reading this will recognize themselves. In any case, it’s not necessarily simple.

Fat Dreams:
I can totally relate to your frustration and used to feel guilty about this but honestly everyone needs to find their own unique balance between attraction and compatibility. It's totally okay to have "musts" as long as you respect potential partners as human beings and let them make decisions about their bodies for themselves.

As for whether or not you're asexual/greysexual, no one can answer that for you. I've talked to two different therapists about this over the years about a similar issue myself, and one of them suggested I was asexual but the other one said I can't be because of my fetish. Idk. Either way, it may not be something you can change, and life is too short to try to guilt yourself out of finding happiness. I'm sure there are partners out there that are complementary to you in both personality and attraction.

HueOrdner:
Sorry, I need to blow off some steam here:

Absolutely every guy I show interest in tells me he wants to lose weight. Because you gotta lose weight if a pretty girl shows interest in you, otherwise you'll lose her, right? Some say it immediately, some mention it after a few dates.
For some reason 30kg seems to be the magic number here. It's the amount every guy wants to lose. Though, sometimes it's 50kg too.

If I know the guy a little better I will tell him that I find him attractive the way he is and that he doesn't have to lose weight for me, but it doesn't do anything. Once I even told a guy straight out on the first date that I'm not attracted to skinny people, but it didn't change much.

Maybe the guys really are doing it for themselves and that would be absolutely fine (although sad for me, haha), but to me it seems like they are doing it out of insecurity.
At this point with some guys any activities that involve food like eating out or cooking together stop being fun because they keep complaining about how fat they are and how much they are eating. Often without changing anything. Or they start eating very little and count calories. Other guys might avoid activities that include food as much as possible.

This makes me feel bad like myself. I am very happy with my body and eating habits right now, but I struggled with an eating disorder almost 10 years ago and I feel like this kind of behavior triggers me. It makes me wonder if I am also too fat and should diet too. It's such an awful feeling.

I don't want to be with someone who is so negative. I want to be with someone who enjoys life and likes to indulge in its pleasures.
But I can't seem to find someone like that. Am I just attracting dreadful people? Or are 99% of fat men just incredibly insecure?? I just want to be with someone who is self-confident and has a positive outlook on life.

And it's not like I'm against a guy staying fit. I obviously want them to be as healthy as possible.
I like being active myself. I love to dance and go for long walks or hikes. And of course I would like to do these activities with my partner. But I would like them to stay chubby while being active. I sometimes wish it was different, but skinny or muscular is just not my type. I wanna be with a guy who is like a sumo wrestler. Someone who is fat but still strong and fit.