It isn't true that all women experience incontinence after childbirth. I didn't. But it is not uncommon, that's for sure.

Some people say that doing Kegel exercises can help control mild incontinence--always worth a shot. There are loads of pages about how to do 'em if you google, and you can also buy a Kegel exerciser. (Don't ask, just read.)

The real issue is that with far too many GPs and primary care docs, blaming stuff on our weight is an easy out, especially if there is some possibility it's true, as pfab outlined in this case.

If you were a slender person, they would do a series of thinking and tests, which they should do with you, too. If you can politely say to the dr. 'I know it might be from my weight, but in case it isn't, could we go through the normal diagnostic procedure you would do with a thinner person?', the doc will be hard put to deny you. The challenge, of course, is to keep your righteous anger, shame, or any other negative emotion out of your voice when you ask. Sigh.

But the boundaries are completely unclear, aren't they? Is everyone who dreams of letting go and eating whatever s/he wants, or every woman who wants bigger breasts, one of 'us'? I think it's really hard to know, unless you only want to count people who have consciously admitted to themselves that they are into stuffing, binging, or gaining...

My two bits,
J

I'm from a Middle Eastern/West Asian background. And I'd say my 'tribe'is a lot like Shao's description of South Asians--less fat-negative than white Euro-America, and there are a visible percentage of chubby women, but by NO means fat-positive, and lots of fat mothers torturing their daughters about their weight (including mine). Maybe Jordan is right, and it's the white washing of living in the US, but I'm not sure. The women I know from the Middle East, from a range of cultures, are all pretty fat-phobic... Makes me very sad.