June story club - feederism 101 by bellyempire

Passing For Vanilla:

I thought the graphic sexual descriptions were really clear and I understood exactly what was happening. The moment was captured really well.


This is a really great comment. Action scenes, whether it’s sex, or a car chase, or a baseball game, can be really difficult to write, and one of the hardest things to do is follow the action and make sure the reader knows where moving objects are in relation to each other. It’s easy to have it be a jumbled mess. This story does that well, but it’s a good check on any action scene. Just stop at a random point and “who’s sticking what where and why?”. Or something like that.
2 years
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Letters And Numbers

June story club - feederism 101 by bellyempire

Munchies:
I will admit that I couldn't read it. This is a dense text block, and my eyes kept sliding off the page.

When you make a story, don't be afraid to use space. It allows your eyes to rest and better process whatever you see.

A general rule of thumb is to separate paragraphs with a line of space - much as I do in my response. The same thing goes with dialog. When another character starts talking - or the dialog ends - create a new line of space.

If a chapter has multiple scenes, I like to separate the scenes with a line break or multiple lines of space.


I think that’s great advice, especially for online writing where you can’t indent paragraphs. I do it myself.

It’s a cool story, though, that I think really captures the feel of a woman who gains confidence and becomes empowered by being fed by her partner. There’s some nice back and forth power dynamic, but it swings back to the protagonist at the end. I liked seeing a POC protagonist in a WG story also.

I definitely wouldn’t be afraid to go back in and add some spaces between paragraphs or give it a once over for word choice, but nice story!
2 years
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June story club - feederism 101 by bellyempire

This is the first installment of the Fantasy Feeder Story Club, which is a dumb but fun idea we came up with in another thread to let FF authors showcase their stories and have a discussion about them.

The one rule is that feedback will always be constructive and positive, not critical. Talk about the things you think the author did well, offer some constructive advice if you have it, and remember to be positive. This is for fun.

If you would like to be featured in an upcoming Story Club, post in the "Story feedback forum" thread!

The June story is "Feederism 101" by Bellyempire.

fantasyfeeder.com/stories/view

Marnesia is one of the biggest girls on campus, self conscious about her weight she meets a handsome guy who loves it going as far as to feed her. With some research she learns that he`s a feeder. She promises to give him a night he won`t forget.


It's five chapters, so a great little bite to get started. Thanks to Bellyempire for volunteering!

Check out other Story Clubs!
- November 23, A Pleasurable Hunt by Battybattybattybat
----> fantasyfeeder.com/forum/posts
- October 23, What A Long Sleep You've Had by Letters & Numbers
----> fantasyfeeder.com/forum/posts
- September 23, Isolation Bellies by FatForFun
----> fantasyfeeder.com/forum/posts
- August 23, The Thief by BCain
----> fantasyfeeder.com/forum/posts
- July 23, Saturday by Stevita
----> fantasyfeeder.com/forum/posts
June 23, Feederism 101 by Bellyempire
----> fantasyfeeder.com/forum/posts
2 years
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Story feedback forum

Bellyempire:
I would suggest "Feederism 101" or if anyone is into vore then "The swallowing Gene"


Feederism 101 sounds perfect for the first installment of book club, right? I’ll make a thread!
2 years
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Trying to gain just in certain areas

The solution to this particular problem is squats.
2 years
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Story feedback forum

Bellyempire:
I would love to hear thoughts of any of my stories as well.


Is there one of your free stories you would like to put on the list for June book club?
2 years
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Stories not loading

PrimusFeeder:
Is there a reason why some stories are not loading when you click on them but others are? Got my preferences listed to recently updated, and a few that have just been updated with a new chapter aren't loading the story at all


Which ones are working for you? I can’t open any.
2 years
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Updated stories?

It’s all stories, not just updated ones.
2 years
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Remove profile section

FF Team:
Hi Otacon0205,

Thanks for getting in touch. Currently when you edit / add information to the dating section it will display the whole section on your profile.

Unfortunately it can't be hidden, but this is something we have been thinking about adding as a feature to profiles so you can remove / add sections that are relevant.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help.

c00kie
FF Team

Otacon0205:
Got it, thanks for the reply. Hopefully you will implement this change soon.


Agreed
2 years
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Why isn’t my story listed when i search for ‘newest’?

Supergirl:
Sometimes it's not abuse of the system - I have gone back to my story to add chapters, but I have also gone back and corrected spelling, grammar, etc. So there are some valid reasons to revise it aside from just adding chapters.


Oh definitely, I do that all the time.
2 years
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