Not everyday just when I have a binging episode.
I do eat a lot at mealtime usually 2 or 3 helpings and get pretty full but not a painful full if that makes sense.

I found in my life getting away from people that are negative based is key to being happy in who you are.
Like munchies alluded to change of environment is a good thing.
If I had stayed in the music business drugs would have killed me. Cocaine and heroin is not a good way to live.
I had to do a complete change of environment and rehab to get thru it.
Munchies post above make great sense to me and is solid advice.
Be proud of who you are and don't beat yourself up over your situation get out there and make it better for yourself.
I know a few trans ladies and some trans men and they are living a great life being themselves.
No reason you can't too.

I suppose a bit of both.
The pain of being so full but rubbing the belly is pleasurable.

I'm a binge eater and at times I am so stuffed its hard to get up out of my chair and walk out of the kitchen.
I get to the couch and rub my fat belly for maybe an hour.
So yes I love rubbing my flabby belly. most anytime.

Good doesn't it feel better getting it all out?

Did you discuss the kink you have?
You need to understand just getting married doesn't solve problems.
Getting married then telling him your kink isn't fair to him.

Just comment in the forum or chat and just be yourself.
Be nice and keep things civil .
Thats what I did way back 13 or so years ago.
I'm still here and chatting old friends I made years ago and meeting new ones too.
I really didn't know much of anything about gainers or feeders.
I knew I loved the fact I had gotten slightly chubby and finally had curves I could be proud of.

I have learned over the years that its best to come right out with something than suffer never really knowing what your spouse thinks.
I was dating an older man thru a lot of my active gainer phase and he was ex Army and very fit.
He said if gaining is what you want go for it if it makes you happy.
He admitted he liked the plushness as I got fatter.
This kind of a thing as always hard until you do it then its out there and then you both can deal with it.

Might as well tell him is what I think.
Communication of what each wants is pretty important is it not?
If he hated that you have gained weight he would have said it and have you exercise with him.
Sounds like he is OK with your current weight but at 400 that could be very different.

Slow down on the heavy fatty foods and up the portion size of foods you do like.
No need in forcing yourself to eat that stuff.
Up your portion size at each meal and you will gain.
It took me a long time to gain compared to some but when I did gain it was weight that stayed put.
These days I can look at food and gain 5 pounds.
I have done the mass gainer thing and my body didn't care for it and it caused me belly aches and constipation.
When I do a shake I make a real shake with milk and ice cream.