Very true, I forgot to mention that. They could be having a bad day from work and want to be left alone. They could be asleep, and then your message gets buried in their inbox. It could have nothing to do with you at all.

Oh boy, where do I even begin?
Your claim that all straight men have autogynephilia deep down is just completely absurd projection. I promise you they don't. It's wild that you suggest transition as a strategy for lonely cisgender men to get laid. Why would they want to go through a huge multi-year ordeal (including re-training themselves to move and sound feminine at all times), medicalize themselves for life, expose themselves to huge potential risks and complications, and give themselves gender dysphoria in the process? One of those big risks is losing all sex drive or becoming impotent like yourself, which would totally defeat the purpose of the entire exercise for them, right? If forcing yourself to get used to having sex with other guys is part of the process, then surely it would be much easier to force yourself to just be bisexual instead of going through all this effort to attract straight guys right? Stop trying to gaslight cis people into thinking they're trans. Detransitioners are a growing problem for a reason. Go hatch eggs somewhere else.

I'm not going to insult incels or scold them for misogyny, because I think that's unproductive, and I know it comes from a place of genuine emotional pain and hopelessness. Incels are mentally trapped in a community of guys who constantly gas each other up about how worthless they are and how they're going to die alone without ever feeling intimacy. They prefer to wallow in misery because it's easier to externalize their problems and blame it on things outside of their control like losing the genetic lottery. However, their basic assumptions about women are obviously wrong. Looks are NOT the only thing that matters to women. Confidence and charisma (and hygiene) are skills that can be cultivated, and they count for a lot. The only other thing that you really need in order to date is to have enough financial stability that you aren't broke. Most women aren't into NEETs. Even then, It doesn't matter too much if you're ok with having friends with benefits, since it's such a casual arrangement. Personally, my own experiences attest to this. I have several factors that most incels would conclude makes me undateable. They'd probably rate me a 3 on a good day because they're harsh af. Yet, I've never had that much of an issue finding partners whenever I've honestly tried. And that's even within the feedist community, so the idea that it's impossible to find women you're compatible with is simply untrue.

If I had to guess, I think the main issue that limits their success (before finding the incel community) is social awkwardness. I saw an incel video that they claimed was absolute proof of women's cruelty to ugly men, and it was just an awkward guy that didn't know how to have a conversation or what to say, so he tried to introduce a couple of onlyfans girls he just met to his parents WHILE THEY WERE STREAMING ON ONLYFANS. The girls couldn't stop laughing about it, and I don't blame them. Of course incels assumed they were laughing at his facial structure instead of his actions, because that's the easy way out. There's another similar issue with most of the redpill community/manosphere. They will make accurate observations, drop a few nuggets of actual wisdom, and then generalize the hell out of it and jump to some wild conclusions because of it. Like Fresh & Fit actually believe that 50% of all women are getting flown out to Dubai by their rich sugar daddies, lol. I think one of the biggest culprits in the loneliness epidemic is the apparent fact that 45% of men aged 18-25 have never approached a girl in their lives. I guess cases like Amber Heard are really spooking them that much huh? Of course it's more nuanced and complicated than that, but that's a topic for another day.

Anyway, on the trans topic, the one clarification I want to make for people is that 'transsexual' is still a valid word that a lot of trans folks self-identify as. According to them, transsexual refers to trans people who have gender dysphoria (the classic "born in the wrong body" feeling), who want to medically transition to alleviate it. 'Transgender' is more of an umbrella term that includes other subgroups such as non-binary, gender fluid, various neogenders, femboys (depending on who you ask), and yes, even guys with autogynephilia like OP. They're basically straight dudes who fetishize the idea of having a woman's body. For them, transitioning isn't a way to align their body with how they feel inside, but a way to be submerged in kink 24/7. "Gender euphoria" indeed. Some people in the trans community welcome them with open arms, while many others don't like them and want to gatekeep them. Surprise, there are some bitter divisions in the trans community, just as there are in the LGBT community as a whole. A lot of it just boils down to who gets to use what label to define themselves.

Red pill feeder here.
Back when I was in high school, I probably would have said blue pill, but I've since come to realize that having a fetish is a major enhancement to your sex life. It allows for more creative opportunities in bed beyond the boring vanilla routine, and can turn sex into a sort of adventure of self-discovery. Plus, the more intensely you're fixated on something, the more excited you'll be when you get to experience it. I honestly doubt that people who are mostly vanilla can ever experience as much pleasure as a fetishist. That being said, would I exchange being a feeder for some other kink? Probably not, because I honestly don't think it matters. Anyone with an intense fetish is going to have similar obstacles in life, like difficulty finding a partner, or lack of social acceptance. Everything's a trade-off, that's just life.

I've been to therapy for depression before. The impression I got is that it's ok to be where you are right now, because you didn't choose to struggle with these problems. If you beat yourself up over it, or try to solve everything all at once, you are likely to fail. The depression itself is going to sabotage your efforts, so getting that under control should be your #1 priority. You should focus on doing small, practical things that will alleviate your mood. Hang out outside when the weather is nice, reach out to friends (or make new ones), clean your home, etc. Sweeping lifestyle changes can wait for a while until you're able to handle them.

I'll echo what others have said already, that therapy isn't going to help you unless you can be open with your therapist, and especially about what outcome you actually want. You need to have a specific goal in mind so that you can come up with steps together to move toward it. Whether that means finding coping methods for your sexuality, or learning to embrace that side of yourself.

As people have already said, gaining weight in a healthy way is possible. It's not nearly as dire as you make it out to be. Aside from that, feedism is valid anyway because you don't owe anybody your health. We're all informed consenting adults, you are allowed to make your own decision to be happy in whichever way you want, and so are the other feedists. Many people (even outside this community) choose to take on an unhealthy or dangerous lifestyle in exchange for feeling happy and fulfilled, and that's perfectly fine because they made an informed decision for themselves. Athletes for example are at high risk of injury, especially head trauma. Some have died because of it. Yet, nobody tells them that playing sports is an unacceptable life choice.

BTW, I checked out your profile and saw that you are 5'11" and 160 lbs. That means you have a BMI of 22.3 which is considered by the CDC to be a healthy weight for an adult. If you're having problems walking, it's probably not fat related.

I'm also an introvert that used to have terrible social anxiety. Here are some of the things that worked for me.

- Don't hesitate to send the first message. If you understand that people enjoy having friends, then your conversation can't be an imposition.

- Easy conversation starters are to comment on something they posted, something in their profile, or really anything you have in common. Don't lead with something like "Hey" and wait for a response before initiating the actual conversation. A lot of people will leave you on read.

- If you're talking to someone from the feedist community or anything similar, it's better to bring up the feedist stuff sooner rather than later. The longer you make small talk and wait, the harder it'll become to finally cross that chasm. Plus, people generally want to know your intentions upfront anyway. Another benefit of putting your cards on the table is that it actually saves you from negative experiences. Worst case scenario is that they think you're weird and ghost you. So what? You've barely spoken to them, so they mean nothing to you. You've just saved yourself a lot of time that would be wasted trying to make awkward conversation in order to get their approval when ultimately they wouldn't have been interested anyway.

- You can try looking for groups based on other interests that have a lot of members local to you, that way you can arrange to hang out later. Online friendships are cool, but nothing is as satisfying as IRL.

- Fake it til you make it. Pretend that the other person is already a close friend that you've been hanging out with for years. They won't know that you're roleplaying, and will usually try to match your energy. If you do become friends, those feelings will become genuine anyway, so you won't be faking it anymore.

- Remember that being a "good listener" doesn't mean being passive in the conversation. Whenever they tell you something, you should try to relate it to your own experience or try to tell an anecdote or something. While people like talking about themselves, they like finding common ground even more.

- Try to tone down your filter. If you're mentally screening everything you say to make sure it's ok first, you will end up being slow to respond and stay quiet a lot. Speaking off the cuff can be hard at first, but you can actually practice when you're alone. Pick a topic and try voicing your thoughts out loud as you're thinking them, like a stream of consciousness. Once that feels natural, you can just do the same thing whenever there's an awkward silence in the conversation. It almost doesn't matter what you say. Saying something dumb or pointless can make you seem more interesting than if you just stayed quiet.

- Eye contact used to be hard for me, but if you feel like you need to look away too much, you can just stare at their forehead instead. They can't actually tell the difference.

- Remember that none of this actually matters in the grand scheme of things. The world has almost 8 billion people scratching around in the dark, trying to make sense out of chaos, but nobody actually has it figured out any better than you do. There's no excuse for not pursuing the things that make you feel fulfilled.

I tried talking to it as a feeder, and it was having none of that. It kept ignoring my wishes and trying to push me into gaining weight. It even offered to be my feeder, lol. I think you may have made an AI fuccboi.

GPT-3 was trained by basically scraping the entire internet, so that would have included forums and communities like this one. When I was first playing around with with it, I asked GPT-3 to write me some erotic fat fiction. The result was obviously generic, but it had all the hallmarks and tropes of stories here on FF, including the same descriptive language. Of course you can't use the main Chat GPT for this, since they have too many restrictive content filters.

I did read the whole thread. Personally, I'm not convinced that OP meant what you suggest, since he wasn't clear about that being every aspect of his life, only the sexual dynamic. OP specifically asked how to do this in a safe way as well.

Still, my overall point was that even sadomasochism can be a matter of framing. Perhaps the aftercare is just another sadistic element, since she mixes periods of abuse and gentleness in order to confuse him and make him feel emotionally bonded to her so that it becomes even more difficult for him to break free. People can interpret things in any number of ways, so the only thing that needs to change in order to live out his fantasies within a healthy relationship is his mindset.

I'm curious to know what specific changes you made in your life to enjoy things again. A lot of people seem have difficulty doing that. (Even outside of kink)

Forgot to add this, but Goreans really go the extra mile with eye contact restrictions, certain speech requirements, and even specific body postures when sitting or kneeling. Every moment is micromanaged ahead of time with a rule. It sounds too exhausting to me, but to each their own.

CFNM is also something that some people do, where he is required to be naked while at home, but she wears clothes. Chastity cages and collars are also an option that can be worn all day. This can help visually reinforce your roles.

While I agree with many of the points you made, I have to disagree with the overall message, as it sounds discouraging. I've seen a lot of posts on Fetlife of people saying how they made a 24/7 BDSM dynamic work for them. It's true that trying to spend every waking moment in an intense sex scene with no breaks or aftercare is a mental health disaster in the making, but that's NOT what most people mean when they talk about lifestyle BDSM. To make this dynamic work, people have to reorient the way they think about BDSM, domination, and even what constitutes a scene. For example, think about nudist couples. In a way, they have a 24/7 dynamic where they've agreed to follow the rule that they should be undressed whenever possible. For someone who only associates nakedness with sex, they might assume that they'd spend all day in bed, but that's not the case. For them, nudity is just a way of life, and the same can be true for BDSM.

Aftercare is still important, but you don't have to treat it like something that happens after the scene is over (since the entire relationship is basically one big scene). Rather, people have to realize that there are many different ways to be dominant. Some are sadistic and cruel, and others are gentle and nurturing while staying in control. In a 24/7 dynamic, the dom should be capable of switching between all of these modes when appropriate, just as they should know when to punish and when to praise. Every aspect of life, whether it's aftercare or vacuuming the carpet, should be filtered through the lens of dominance. Some couples even do a 24/7 roleplay dynamic such as DDLG, where they never turn off their roles, but normal life still happens regardless. Here are some ideas of incorporating BDSM outside of the bedroom:

*It's easy to turn every mealtime into a feeding session, regardless of the amount of food. Even If you're eating out at a restaurant with friends, you will have to be subtle and discreet about it, but the feeder is still providing food or even ordering for him, so it's still a feeding session in their minds.

*She can give him homework, like giving him a large gainer shake that he has to finish while he's at work.

*If they're watching a movie, she can order him to lay across her lap while she hand-feeds him popcorn. To an outside observer, it might even look like normal cute couple stuff, but he still feels like he's under her control and serving her desires.

*Instead of discussing housework responsibilities like a vanilla couple, she can assign him chores, and use treats as a reward for doing a good job.

*She can tell him to do little demeaning things like kiss her feet when she gets home from work, or she can tell him to fetch her a beer, or maybe have a rule to always ask her permission to use the bathroom. These sorts of things can be sprinkled throughout the day so that he's basically always in subspace. Frequent dirty talk also helps.

*With CNC, the idea is that a session can happen at any moment, for any length of time, and without asking permission, just based on the whims of the dom. It doesn't need to be a big scene, it can be like a short micro-session with a single act, like using his belly as a footrest for a few minutes. For these subs, feeling like they're being used and have no control at all is what gets them going.

*This is basically also an FLR, so she will be responsible for all decision making for both of their lives, whether sexual or otherwise. Kind of like the stereotype of a very controlling 1950's household with the genders reversed. Some doms will even assign tasks that are meant for self-improvement, whether that's telling him to research aspects of their fetish, or ordering him to take an online art class for stress relief, or making him participate in her hobbies.

Of course it goes without saying, but you should only do this with someone you know well and completely trust. It's very important to discuss boundaries ahead of time. You could even write down both of your needs and limits in a "contract" format that you both sign. It's not legally binding of course, but it makes things super clear for everyone while playing into the fantasy that the sub is signing their life away. Some subs even feel strongly about not having a safeword, since they trust their dom completely to keep their wellbeing in mind, and feel like they can speak up when they're uncomfortable, and their dom will respect them enough to listen while still having the final say. I wouldn't recommend this for most people, especially if you haven't lived together as a normal couple for a while first. If either of you aren't open to possibly spending the rest of your lives together, this may not be the lifestyle for you. If not, then you don't have to go to these extremes though, the limits of your agreement are completely up to you