Before, I never really thought about it, probably would have found it a turn off or a "what?!"

Now that my wife is 220 lbs her life style has changed from being not really active to really not being active. Combined with some health issues (not weight related) she is moving around the house maybe 30-60 minutes tops. I find that a turn on. The idea that she's moving only when absolutely needed (go to the toilet, get in/out of bed) and for the rest sits or lays where I bring her her food, her drinks, her every need, is a huge turn on.

I don't need her to become physically more limited; I like and encourage her mental giving over, giving up, giving in, of "I don't want to move"

She's becoming sort of a food processor

Like a big fat double chin stretchmarks are another mark someone is really fat. For that reason I find them sexy

Some kinks or sexual orientations can be problematic that way. Remember that just because you are this way doesn’t mean you have to act on in in real life.

In a loving relationship sex is only a part of the relationship, not the center point. And in sex, your kink or fetish or orientation is again just a small part of that. Of all the things you’ll fall truly in love with with your partner, their kink will be one of the least important parts.

There are many levels and workarounds. My wife isn’t into this at all and I only discovered my preference for her being overweight when she set out to lose a lot of weight. After, she started to regain and I told her I prefer her with a bit of meat on her. She’s ok with that. I enable her gaining during the periods she herself doesn’t eat disciplined and support her when she diets.

So that is one way: someone who already eats/lives undisciplined, I think it’s ok to work with them.

You can grow someone by 10 lbs, have them lose it again, do it again. Indefinite feeder fun.

Role play. Use padding or bloating.

Read up on overweight, obesity, and health. At the upper range of Class 1 obesity my wife has healthier blood test results than I do. Obese unhealthy.

Think about diet as a way of eating, of living. You don’t have to grow your partner using a fast food diet. You can use a Mediterranean diet and still have them go up in weight but in a much healthier way.

I appreciate the concern for her well being. No, I don’t force her. Yes she has lost a lot of weight herself before. No, she didn’t keep it off. Yes I told her I don’t want to be the food police especially as I like her with more meat on her. No she doesn’t like gaining. No she doesn’t change her eating pattern. No she doesn’t exercise. Yes I enable her.

I agree @johnxyz that WLS isn’t a good thing. Mortality has gone down but especially with stomach bypass nutrient problems remain and in some cases the weight loss doesn’t plateau at the desired weight but keeps going down

At what point does moving become difficult and at what point does it move into immobility ?

I've won

While we were eating we discussed how we feel about our bodies. When it came to her I asked "now that you feel you fit better in your clothes is that weight loss surgery still on the table?" and she said "I don't think so"

Of course the real win will have to come once the papers come in, and she has to make her final decision, but so far I've moved her from "I'm getting surgery" to "I'm not sure" to "I don't think so"

The coming weeks and months I'll regularly get back to this to reinforce her answer in her own mind.

So it looks like I have a nice fat wife who's used to having her fat rolls squeezed and her belly caressed who's going to stay big all her life, possibly eventually a bit bigger.

The internalization of being fat and adorable is ongoing. Today she put on a summer dress that's kind of tight around the belly; it really shows her fatness instead of those tent-like clothes many big women wear. She said "this is about as tight as I can wear a dress." Naturally I rewarded her with a lot of compliments; "that dress really looks good on you and I love how it shows your body"

And while I haven't made a direct comment yet I've been caressing her double chin these past 2 days. Just caressing her face, running my hand over her cheeks, and then going under her chin and running my hand over her fat-flabby double chin. "You're beautiful." She's made no counter comments and hasn't complained about being touched this way. My goal is to make this a verbal thing too - "I love your double chin" or "your neck is gorgeous" - so that that's another piece of her fat body she feels a bit bad about where she has to accept compliments until she herself can't distinguish anymore whether she finds it bad or not.

I'm leaving her free in her food choices at the moment. Yesterday evening that resulted in her asking for some pastry I had brought for her (6 portions, of course, instead of 1). She had refused it in the morning. Then for a sandwich. Today she finished her supper, then asked for another pastry, then for a bowl of cereal. Food-wise the goal is to have her feel comfortable, to have the impression she isn't eating herself fat. At minimum she maintains; her body's setpoint has definitely gone up and this is her new normal weight. Of course now the wait is for when she asks for a huge portion of junk food or a big amount of snacks

The transformation is very satisfying. From self-criticizing fatty to successful weight loss, fed back to the upper range of Class I obesity but this time with a larger amount of acceptance. When she's out in public view it's not like a woman with a belly; she's fat. Big neck, very fat double chin now, round fatty face, real big extending belly with overhang, huge upper arms, fat starting to form around the wrists. Good heavy breasts. The only thing that looks regular are her legs; no gains are going into her legs so far. They're a bit thicker than before but nothing massive, nothing fat.

Some quotes from the article:

- Our bodies seem to adjust to prolonged, repeated physical exertion and its energy demands by burning fewer — instead of more — calories over the course of the day, even if our exertions continue at the same level, according to a surprising new study of energy expenditure conducted during a 20-week running race across the United States

- The study is among the first to quantify the upper limits of human daily energy expenditure and endurance, whether someone is running across the country, competing in the Tour de France or pregnant

- a small but growing body of research suggests there are limits. A 2012 study of energy expenditure among modern hunter-gatherers, for instance, found that despite being in motion almost all day, the tribespeople burned about the same number of daily calories as those of us who sit behind desks all day. In effect, the tribespeople’s bodies seemed to have found ways to reduce their overall daily energy expenditure, even as they continued to move.

- The changes in the runners’ energy expenditures were striking. In their first week of repeated marathons, the runners burned about 6,200 calories a day on average, a steep increase over their typical energy expenditure from the week before — and about what would be expected, based on their new level of activity

- But 20 weeks later, although they were running just as much and at about the same pace, the racers had lost little body weight, and were expending about 600 fewer calories each day on average than they did in the first week.

- By the end of the event, the researchers calculated that the runners were expending about two and a half times their resting metabolic rate each day, a notable decline from the early days of the event, when they were burning at least three and a half times their resting rate.

- The researchers also examined past studies of overeating, in which people gorged on food to see how much weight they gained and how quickly, and found that most of them added pounds at a rate that suggested they could absorb about two and a half times their basic caloric needs. That is, participants might swallow more calories, but their bodies could not process anything beyond that limit.

Noodles are almost free calories. Soft drinks and chips are almost free.

Buy a big bag of flour. Make your own pizza dought (super simple). Have bags of shredded cheese, pepperoni, and crumbled bacon in the house. Make your owan sauce or buy it even. For a few bucks you make a pizza that can blow delivery out of the water and certainly is better than the deep frozen stuff. Price per pizza is maybe 5 bucks tops.

Chicken is super cheap. Learn to make butter chicken, using real butter not the coconut milk recipes, and parmessan chicken. Both are simple, delicious, and you can boost calories as you see fit she should gain.

A good tip from @Bicepsual on this forum; buy tose SideKicks packages and sub the milk/water for heavy cream.

Learn how to make really nice sandiwches. 2 slices of bread, some olive oil, tomatoes, pastrami, cheese, some spices, "roast" in your oaster oven.

My feedee: 5'7", 34.5 BMI (Class 1 obesity ends at 34.9)

It pertains to the processing capacity. If you have a waste management facility that can process 100 lbs of waste per hour it doesn't mean you can't dump 200 lbs in it; it means it can still only process 100 lbs of waste per hour.

There seems to be a physical limitation for our body that at a certain calorie intake in 24 hour it just can't do anything more with the food passing through the system