I would certainly be interested in reading your experiences sometime.

I wouldn't say I was particularly active back then, but I certainly remember mostly lurking around a lot of that old stuff. Back when Yahoo Groups were still a thing. Back when Kelligrrl and SexyMic were still active. Back when Dimensions was more than just a message board, yet was pretty much the only game in town, AOL and Yahoo notwithstanding.

Think I even still remember back then, the kind of feeling I had when I first discovered this sort of thing online. I remember seeing the various weight loss ads on magazines or on TV, and thinking that at least 95% of the time, the before picture looked better. I guess at some point, I wondered if there was anyone who was deliberately trying to get fatter on purpose.

So, I searched on Excite!, or perhaps it was Lycos or Yahoo Search. I think I used a phrase like:

"weight gain" "before and after" pictures

Or phrases like:

"getting fatter" pictures

The quotes were important to match the literal phrase, because otherwise searching for weight gain could return results about gaining confidence from weight loss, which was not what I was looking for at all.

At that point, I discovered Dimensions. I don't really know how else to describe it, so here goes. It was almost as if St. Peter opened up the gates in the sky, and the angels were all singing Hallelujah! It totally blew my mind at the time. I wasn't crazy! It wasn't just me! Somewhere, in this big wide world, there were others who felt as I do.

Keep in mind this was a time when you would be made to feel bad if you ever dared admit that a 5'3", 160 lb girl was possibly attractive, and didn't want her to lose 40 lbs. And don't even dare think, much less admit out loud that you wish she'd gain 40 lbs, and maybe even more than that.

The department stores never had any plus-size mannequins, and suggesting that one use Lane Bryant clothes was derogatory.

This was also when just a few years earlier, the film What's Eating Gilbert Grape? was released. I didn't like how his mother was portrayed, that she was basically a depressed shut-in who never left the house, and that she was fat only because she became a slob who didn't care about anything. Then in the final scene where she went to the courthouse to post bail for her other son who's mentally disabled, everyone around her pointed and laughed at her, mocking how fat she was.

I certainly couldn't really understand such attitudes. Most of the fat people I met back then, actually seemed very nice. Yet I remember this skinny kindergarten teacher I had who was skinny but also a bit of a bitch, like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Very dark times indeed back then, the 90s and before. I hope they never come back.

The funny thing is, I actually saw that film again recently and while the film was still as sad as I remember, Gilbert's mother actually wasn't that big after all. Any time I go out the door, I'm guaranteed to see quite a few people as big as she is, or even bigger. No one cares anymore or gives them any grief.

I don't even know how many hours I spent looking through and getting lost on the entire web site of Dimensions. All the stories from the Weight Room, all the personal accounts, the featured images of Kelligrrl and others, and so on.

I even remember Dimensions had a mod for The Sims 1 for fat sims, and I regret not downloading it. A couple years ago someone asked me if I had those files, and I had to disappoint him. It didn't help that I was using dial-up, and that download would have taken a long time.

Maybe don't lead with being a virgin. It is what it is, but it's not something to brag about. Never lead with something perceived as negative in most of society.

I'm not saying this to be mean, but never lead with anything negative like that. I would tell you the exact same advice if you lead with something else like "I haven't been on a date in years."

The only thing that will do is invite questions as to why this is, which can lead down a rabbit-hole of other questions you really don't want them to be asking, like "what's wrong with this person?" This could then result in "yeah I'm giving that person a wide berth."

If you want me to delete the thread entirely, please let me know and I'd be happy to do so.

In the meantime, I think this belongs in the personals board.

Realistically? Yes, I made my peace with it well over a decade ago. The bottom line is, the numbers don't favor it, I'm not gonna lie to you.

Also, anytime gaining is involved, at some point that has to end. But I'm assuming you don't want the relationship to end when that happens, I know I don't. This means the relationship has to be built on something else.

It's far, far easier to find someone who's already quite fat and likes eating. While that means you'd miss out on the gaining process, it would have to end anyway. It also means having a life that's already adapted to being fat.

Also, someone said it might be easier or more likely when you give up looking. That's not true. If you do, life will pass you by, and you will die alone. Last time I was on a date, was years ago and I'm not even sure if it really counted. I've made little to no effort since then (why this is, is beyond the scope of this thread), and there have been no dates or prospects since then.

But, that's not why I keep coming back here. I come back here because I like the community, the discussion, the thoughts, and the content that others upload.

This is only a part of me, anyway.