canadianenglish wrote


When you log on there is a tab to the right which says "My Dating Ad" click on that and it is fairly self explanatory from their.

As for coming of too strong I don't neccesarily think a compliment is needed, there is no magical PM that will get a girl to instantly fall in love with you and a compliment makes it seem like you're only interested in one thing.

When I PM someone I will allude to the similarities in our profiles, mention things I have noticed them say on the forums that we agree on or that I like their attitude and provide some details about myself that are not available in my ISU.

I tend to put my MSN address at the bottom. I know some people think that's too much but I never add someone without giving them the first option. I have had times when the person has mailed me back and given me their address instead, if that's the case I will add them as they've shown an interest to chat.

The only way I think you can properly meet people from here is talking off site and investing the time to get to know someone. If you scattergun your messages or add lots of people to your IM you will never get to know anybody properly.

canadianenglish wrote


It might just be the message you're sending isn't standing out, a lot of the girls on here get an awful lot of messages weekly, they are not obliged to answer each and every one and the guys who just bulk message each new girl muddy the waters because they send out loads of generic messages that make other genuine messages seem not worth replying to. Seriously why does any 60 year old man think an 18 year old is going to want to talk to them?

Looking at your profile, you don't have an ISU. Not being funny, but why should a girl message back a guy with no dating advert, no information concerning himself...? Everytime I've been messaged the first thing I do is look to see if the girl who messaged me has a profile and I've seen how her profile stacks up against mine - what our common interests and life goals are. If you can't be bothered to do fill that out, why should a girl be inclined to spend time getting to know you?

As for the other posters I hate chat, it's filled with creepy guys looking to get their rocks off and a few genuine guys who get crowded out by the creep fest - it's a bit like that episode of South Park when Cartman gets onto the NAMBLA chat room. I don't think I could forge a meaningful relationship with the transient nature of the people in the chat room.

I think being an active member of the forums will help a lot because not only do you have the ISU that introduces yourself but you also have an easily accessed portfolio of your thoughts and responses covering a wide range of issues that demonstrates your personality beyond the mechanical "about me" section. You may even get people messaging you because you have shown an interest in taking an active part of the community.

As far as I'm concerned I would only reply to people with a well thought out ISU and with at least a few forum posts to the profile.

With concerns to improving the site maybe it should be made mandatory to fill out the ISU's and post a profile picture before your're allowed to PM people or enter the chatroom. I know you could post a fake picture and BS ISU, but it's better than getting one night creepers filing empty profiles.