BBWcreator82:
Well.
When I was about 16 years old I noticed pregnant women. I looked outside of my bubble for the first time in my life. Normally before now I was focused on Giant monsters, who'd beat who in a fight and vampires.
One day, unlike any other. I took a look around and liked what I saw. However. I was 16, and an idiot.
Back then the internet still required that noise the modem made, you know, the one that sounds like you're choking a robot to death? Yeah.
Dial up internet to the rescue. I waited until no one was looking and I started searching for everything that made sense.
The first thing I found was erotic stories on sites that had terrible art work and animations on it. None of those sites exist anymore but it was proof that I wasn't insane. There were others out there like me somewhere.
So, I went on a hunt for the next ten years. I studied everything I could. On all the fetishes I could find. Some great, others not so much. I spent a lot of time in yahoo groups/clubs/ chat rooms.
I talked to thousands of people. Learning things, trying to figure things out. But I also learned that while people like us were out there, they weren't in the light.
To find the feeders, I had to dig deeper into the yahoo groups and clubs. Then, I found my people. Or. Vast quanties of people who posted pictures of weight gain progression photos. Seriously. Endless folders of pictures.
Then, in 2003 when FF was still a tiny little site amongst a literal ocean of feeder related sites. I laughed at FF because out of all the ones that existed, I was sure this one would be the one first to kick the bucket. Websites back then disappeared fast. But I lurked.
Then, three years later. October 2nd, 2006. I joined up.
Still here today.
15 years later I met a woman that I instantly connected on a level I didn't know I had in me with on first sight and had to say hello.
Why did I do this. I don't know. It's literally never happened before. Not even once in real life, or online. This was all new to me.
But, anyway. I said hello in the only way I knew how. I gave it my best shot.
She responded. Now, normally I decided that I would just do what I have always done and keep her as a causal internet friend and not really let on how I felt beyond the obvious. She is very pretty. I made sure to let her know.
Glomper: Weirdo in chat that MUST DM you but never says a word in chat.
Then through a very unfortunate and unexpected series of events, horror and perseverance I somehow managed to bring her into my life. No, I didn't kidnap anyone. Stop staring at me I seriously didn't kidnap anyone.
Then, for all of you who don't like me out there this part is for you. Just to show that no, I'm not so perfect after all.
My overactive brain betrayed me. The situation was good, but then, something changed. A new challenger entered the arena. Destiny again twists the knife.
I've never done this before. I am really good at all the technical fetish stuff. Book smart you could say. Emotionally, lol no. I'm an idiot.
She was set to leave my life as soon as she entered it. And all I wanted to do was stop it. terrified that this would never happen again, all I could think about was...the end.
I didn't want to, no but that's how my brain is. It rushes to the end, and the endings are usually not good.
So. I sabotaged myself as I usually do in everything I attempt. I am my own worst enemy. Always. No one is more vicious to me than myself.
I could not learn to let go what I feared to lose the most, and I feel like it cost me. Yoda was right. Yoda is always right. I am usually always right, but not this time.
So, I have learned some valuable lessons through emotional madness I never saw coming. Seriously, this was all new to me. How to process, no idea. There was no instruction manual to follow.
Enjoy the time you have with someone while you have it. Seems obvious, but it's not always apparent.
Don't be an idiot, don't be over protective, Don't be afraid to let go as hard as it may be, and it will be. It is difficult.
If your brain is like mine, at all, and I doubt it, but if it is. Pay attention to those negative thoughts and never ever say them if you can help it.
Trust me, if you find yourself in the same situation one day. You will be a mess once you see the end coming. Even if it might only be a temporary one. You just react. I did, I couldn't help it and it feels terrible. Like a void in your cold heart. Be ready for that.
Now you know these lessons too.
Also don't be a Glomper. That's important. Never be the Glomper.
Bonus Lesson: Unicorns are bad. Never trust them. They will eat you. I promise they will.
Well said. I appreciate your honesty here sir.
