I can't imagine mutual gaining, because one person should be thin enough to take care of the other. Plus it is more fun to concentrate on one person gaining weight. I know others have other opinions.

It sounds like there are too many things going on here. As someone pointed out, feminism is about equality, not about bad hygiene. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. For example, on this site, gaining weight makes someone more attractive, not less. Women are free to cut their hair short, not shave their legs, dress in men's clothes, etc. But men (or whoever) are free not to find them attractive and not make advances towards them. And some men probably prefer women who are not traditional. As fas as "ugly," there are some things that can be fixed, and some that can't be fixed easily. A woman with a big nose is not the same thing as a woman who doesn't shave her legs. Beauty is what first attracts someone, but there are a lot more factors that keep people together. But I also know some older women who no longer take pride in their looks and then criticizes men who like younger women. Women are free to spend less time on their looks, but men are free to be attracted to women who try to look their best.

I can't even imagine the mess.

One of the easiest ways is to joke around. While you are eating, say something like "if I keep eating like this I am going to weigh 500 pounds." Get his reaction. If it is bad, you can laugh it off. You may have to tell him eventually, but at least you'll know how he feels about it.

I don't know. Between the fakes and the people who are here just to make money on their weight gain, it sort of ruins everything. You get into an interesting conversation, then you wonder if they are really who they say they are, or if they are going to ask for money.

I think that may be the difference between a feedee and a foodee. A feedee cares about numbers, a foodee does not.

It's one thing to delete an account here, but another thing to become close to another member, and just disappear.

Chat on AOL last night:

strike 1: She had a male screen name ("my ex's"

strike 2: She didn't know her clothing size.

strike 3: I Googled her pictures and they were from a dating site from a woman in another state.

strike 4: She can gain because she inherited a lot of money (fantasy for sure)

I am thinking it may be that there are a lot of thin people around, and a lot of somewhat chubby people around. But there are fewer really big people around, and when someone with that preference sees someone who is really big, they want to make a connection, look, etc. It may be a while before they see someone that size again (who is their age, etc.)

If you are friends with someone and they disappear, it is probably for good reason, unfortunately. Either they were not honest about their marital status, age, gender, gaining intentions, etc. They probably got scared and left.