artur wrote:
well talking about my fetishe makes me feel less guilty about wanting to gain and not to gain
Many religious authorities think you should feel guilty about your desires. (E.g., one of the ten commandments is "Thou should not covet thy neighbor's wife." )
Personally I don't agree. You don't have much if any control over your desires.
However, you do have control over your ACTIONS. If you, say, steal money from widows and orphans, you SHOULD feel guilty.
But wanting to get fat? If there is a God, and he made you, it's his fault you want to get fat. If anyone should feel guilty it's God.
And if you don't believe in God, there's even less reason to feel guilty about your desires.
Desire all you want.
Actions, again, are another matter. If you do decide to get fat, and get so fat that you can't take care of yourself and become a burden to others, that would be an action. It would reasonable to feel guilty about that.