pretty sure this was my downfall. after my first year of "letting go" and indulging, i found it really impossible to control my portions. i was always hungry when i tried!

check out the "artists & animators" forum - there have been a few threads there with lots of recommendations.

losing control is a classic, for sure!

heading into my mid 40's ... fatter and happier than ever!

hey toronto folks,

we are going to have an open-invite meet-up in toronto in the next few weeks, now that the weather is getting nice and patios are open at bars. probably either at the eton house in the east end, or the brazen head in liberty village in the west end.

let's fill a patio with fat people! lol

trying to pull my chair closer to the desk so i can reach the keyboard more easily... and then my belly pushes back! lol

yes, absolutely. if a stranger talked to me in a negative fashion as i am going through my day, it's not the same as someone i am close with teasing me or humiliating me when i am in the mood, you know?

but if a stranger compliments my appearance, regardless of the context, i am generally flattered.

happy #transdayofvisibilty everyone!

at the end of 2020 i met emily and she has enriched my life so much. she is my partner, my lover and probably the best friend i could have ever wished for. love you, em!

beyond this, she has opened up my mind and my heart to the challenges of being a trans woman in a world that can sometimes hate you just for being yourself. she has opened my eyes to some of my unconscious biases, and as a result has changed and improved how i look at the world.

happy trans day to all my trans friends here on ff!

my pleasure - it is nice to have people to share these emotions with!

a lot of my local friends here are guys i used to go to the gym with before i moved away - so i am pretty used to people being surprised at my current size, lol! but this was an interesting experience, having my ex be smaller than me now!

i can't even though mine is covered all of the time. i have talked to other guys who *can* achieve this, and honestly i am a little jealous! but i can't shift my body in a way that "simulates" the pressure and motion of that kind of thrusting.

i will echo the complaints of others, too. i can still masturbate, but i need to lie down on my left side and press back on my fupa to reach my lil' fella... and the biggest is just staying clean. it's not a big deal since i've been working at home during the pandemic, but it's a real problem/pain when i am out and need to use a public restroom.

i am very fortunate to have a wonderful partner who isn't put off by this, and who has even turned it into an opportunity for us to explore our sex life in a creative new way, too.

i had an experience like this just last night!

my partner em and i went out to dinner with my ex, diane, and her boyfriend. long story short: diane and i split amicably when i moved away for work/family. we text/email very occasionally but haven't seen each other in quite a while.

when i met diane she was already a big woman - well over 400 lbs (maybe 450? i can't remember now). she gained to something like 500 lbs in the couple of years we were together. likewise, i gained from 160ish to maybe 250 lbs during that time. it was my first experience being "fat."

we broke up just as i moved and as the pandemic started. this is where our stories diverge. i continued to work through the pandemic, but i was working from home. i was also getting almost no physical activity! as a result, i piled on weight during that first year of the pandemic.

then i met my current partner, who likes fat guys. and i put on another 60 lbs over that year, and i am bigger than i ever expected, at about 400 lbs!

meanwhile, during the pandemic diane took another path. she started dating her current bf who happened to be a personal trainer. so she started to eat better and get more exercise, and started to lose weight.

yesterday i realized that the tables really had turned! we didn't talk about our weights, but it was obvious that she has lost a bunch of weight - and that i am the fat one now!

diane clearly thought this was hilarious, and commented on how it was obvious how i got so big based on what i ordered at the restaurant.