As with all communities, there are people interested in feeding who are thoughtless at best and abusive at worst. But to tar us all with the same brush, and to then extend that to any practice of gaining in reality, is *quite* the leap of illogic.

Just like we don't judge all heterosexuals by the ones who beat their partners, we shouldn't all be judged by the thoughtless and abusive feeders. And just as people are entitled to pickle their livers in alcohol if they so choose, why shouldn't we be allowed to choose less healthful eating habits if we think the pleasure is more important than longevity?

First of all, it's endlessly intriguing to me that men in their late thirties and forties hope that young women will consider chatting with them, but that they feel just fine about blowing off women older than they. Intriguingly, lots and lots--though obviously not all--of young men are perfectly happy chatting with a 50 year old woman. I find the contradiction between those interesting--has something changed about age and women between those two generations? or do men's attitudes about age change as they get older? Curious.

Anyway, I think one of the problems this thread and others like it have is that it takes those of us who answer as if we are representative of all women on the site. But we're much more participatory, and more likely to have filled out dating ads and have info on our profiles, and so on.

For my two cents, if a woman hasn't filled out a dating ad, and you can't find info on her, then 'So, what brings you to the site?' seems like a perfectly fine question to ask. If there is more info available, then something more personalised is definitely in order.

New term = fun and interesting

Perpetual advertising, multiple times a week, of another website = cheesy (imho)

I think we're being too general here. For instance, there are lots of people who live in social groups where they're well aware of FAs--Goths, BDSM folk, comic and sf convention goers, for a few examples. There are people who aren't into gaining, who might not even like their own fat, who would know what they were hearing if they were complimented.

I also think people give you a bit of a hint as to how they feel about their size by the way they carry themselves. I bet 9 times out of 10 most of us would be able to tell the difference between someone who's wearing a tight shirt in denial vs someone who's strutting.

I don't think you can tell someone their gain looks great unless you know they are into it or they know you are. But I certainly do think you can tell someone they look great and let them take it how they take it. Someone who's so insecure that they assume you're taking the piss needs the compliments even more, and if you're genuine, some part of them will know it.

I totally know it's true about people like you, Max, and that you are not small in number. And you're right, there are a number of basic story plots that support your point.

I just don't understand it. I've always loved food, and came from a foodee household, so I can't imagine not reading about it, making it, looking at it, trying it, and yeah, basically obsessing in a way very similar to my fat obsession, lol.

Ruby just recommended to me that I keep a folding chair in the kitchen and use the oven door as a work surface, because I can't stand long enough to cook anything.

This small fact made me realise we probably have lots of tips that no one would think to ask about. Might be hard to realise what you do every day that's clever, but it occurred to me if we could, this might be a helpful thread.

I'm not sure how much I do that's clever, but I definitely always keep food, painkillers, and hand lotion everywhere I sit or work. Desk, tv chair, bed, etc. Those are just things I don't want to find myself without.

Other tips? I'd love to hear about things that save standing or walking, prevent chafing or absorb sweat, or save on clothing (I don't just outgrow, but am constantly dripping sauce on myself, and I will NOT wear things with spots or stains, so all stain removal tips MOST welcome). Any handy stuff that those of us who live the big life might find helpful would be most welcome.

Wow, Max. I so can't imagine that. I wonder what that would feel like...?

Anyway, assuming we count all the diets and losses, even if they felt like losing the same weight over and over, I'd be in the vicinity of 350-370. And now I'm sorry I ever wasted a minute on dieting.

It's definitely an issue. For me, the problem is that you just have to cook to make healthy enough food in big enough quantities that tastes good enough to want to keep eating. I don't think it'll ever be affordable to buy ready-made or take out stuff.

Ankle supports or ace bandages are a good idea, as are good shoes and gel inserts. But I think Xut is right--the best solution is asking for a stool to sit on. Even if you're working the floor, sitting on a stool for 10 mins every hour might really make a difference.

You might also do ankle strengthening exercises--I found they really helped, though my problems came from too-long ligaments, not my size. Still, might be worth a try. Here's an ok page of some:
www.shapefit.com/ankle-exercises.html

I have never understood the rush to gain through any means possible. I'm with you, purple, part of my gain is the love of fat, sure, but part is also the love of food and eating. Why rush?