Chinchilla:
A month ago, I started a new relationship with someone awesome. The first weeks went by smoothly, I enjoy cooking for both of us and I started having a bigger apetite and enjoying food better.
Four years ago, after I intentionaly gained 20lbs, I decided to completely forget about feederism because it was taking to much space in my life (I'm kind of an obsessive person when I'm interested in something). I managed to not think about it for years, but suddenly this new relationship made it all come to the surface. Damn, I love eating so much, I love feeling full after a good meal and seeing my body expand !
So I started eating more... And complained a bit to my boyfriend that I was eating to much and that I will certainly gain weight because of it, as to test the water. And what did he say ? He said : "you eat more probably because you are happy. And if you gain weight because you are happy, then it makes me happy too."
And since then, he seems to borderline encourage me to eat more. Like the other day, I was eating a pack of biscuits. I told him : "I'm eating too much, I should save what remains for tomorrow." He said : "Do you want to eat what remains ?" "Yes." "Then eat it if you want to, nothing is stopping you." Seriously, this made me so horny ! Of course then, I finished the pack.
Beside these encouragements, he started buying me treats often and he never tells me that stop, I had enough. If a finish a pack of candies in one sitting, he doesn't even seem to care.
So I came to question if he might be a closet feeder ? He said he likes to touch my belly, but at the same time he seems carefull to not overtouch it so I don't notice how much he likes it (that's my impression, maybe he is just not THAT fond of of it, just normaly likes it).
Anyway, I just gave in. I will gain weight, and since it won't even bother him I don't have to worry. I will have the fat that I want, I can eat what I want, I'll be happy and well loved. And being in a new relationship is the perfect excuse to gain weight, my family won't find it as strange as the first time I gained weight and I will be less self-conscious about it. It's just something that happens when you are in a relationship.
It's only been one month, I started eating way more after two weeks and I'm up by 4lbs. It's not much, but I can't wait to see my progress the next month, then the next one, since my apetite seems to grow a little bit everyday.
For those who want to know, I started at 105lbs (BMI 19.5). I didn't really set a goal, I mostly want to enjoy it, but I would like to be chubby (not obese, it is not for me) so maybe have a BMI of 25, that would make me weigh 140lbs. But maybe that won't be enough for me. Or maybe that I will be unable to stop gaining. I don't care actually, I just want to eat and be fat.
I'm so happy for you! It's not often people find someone they click with so well, especially with feedism. Sounds like they're a good partner and bring out the best in you. Do you know if you and him will ever talk about you having a fetish or will it remain unspoken?