I have been a size 30 and its just a number.
Enjoy your fatness and don't worry about it.
I know how you feel and it took me a long time to get over worrying about it.
I mean you are fat and there is no way you can hide it so like I said enjoy it.

Sometimes its best to think over what it is you really want.
Never let your fetish run your life.
Nothing wrong with a fat GF.
Heck I dated an ex military guy that was into fitness and I was just the opposite and got really fat while we were together.
It all works out in the long run never be in a hurry.

You have a problem if your fetish interferes with your employment or day to day life.
That would be called an obsession.
I don't see why people have a hard time deciding what they want to do.
None of us have the right to tell you what to do so why ask us?
If you aren't sure if you want to gain weight then you aren't ready.

First time was to get back at my husband.
I caught him cheating on me with a fat girl.

Never cared for porn and it always reminded me of guys at the rock clubs where our band would play.
Always hitting on girls and taking then downstairs and having sex with them or out in their cars.
Seems so sorted and seedy.
Case in point in Atlantic City NJ I had to pee between sets so off to the bathroom I go.
Two stalls, me in one and a guy and two girls going at it in the other one.
I'm like oh eww really ???

4 or 5 because I have very fat legs.
My thighs rub to my knees.
Even my knees rub when I walk.

Funny part is I lost 70 - 80 lbs and my face got chubby.
Lost a bunch in the belly but no place else.

My face and arms mostly for many years.
The last year or so my face has gotten chubbier.
Developed a double chin too which I never had before.

I used to be that way Dave.

Some people are assholes they can't help it