StoryEnjoyer:
Not really sure what I would be in as a feedee, I am not sure if I would be dominant or submissive, in my minds eye I think it is somewhat neutral a bit of both.

UKLionheart:
Hey guys,

I am after a little advice, please, but first the background:

My grandmother is in her 90s and has dementia. Some days are better than others, but she needs 24 hour care. The family take it in turns to stay with her so she can be in her own home as long as she can.
She also has carers who go in to help with meals etc.

On Monday and Wednesday, I stay with her for the day and the carer makes dinner for us both.

OK - Here is the relevant bit...

I noticed a few weeks ago that this carer (male) makes me large dinners. I didn't think a lot about it at first, but the meals have definitely been increasing in size over the last few weeks.

Last week, he actually gave me a full Aunt Bessie Roly Poly pudding (300g) in custard. This was in one sitting and the dessert has about 60g of sugar and 22g of fat.

Today, he really went for it and the dinner he made me was so large it was on two plates. Turkey, lots of potatoes, 6 large buttered buns and salad. He also gave me weird "reverse psychology" encouragement saying thing like "If you can't manage it all, just leave what defeated you."

Afterwards, he asked if I wanted cake and ice cream, but I refused.

Now, I am not sure if he is a feeder or if he is thinking that this is some sort of crazy way that he proves he is doing his job. I don't want to ask him outright in case he is not a feeder and it opens a whole can of worms about my Grandmother's care.

I have spoken to some of you on messenger, and I have put a few other comments on the message board, but for those I have not spoken to before, let me clarify my position.

I would love to be an IRL feedee, fattened by a ruthless feeder, but I don't want to just "get fat" I want to be controlled.

So if this guy comes up to me and says he just likes to feed people, it probably would not interest me, but imagine this:

We are in the kitchen, he walks up to me, pokes my belly and says "I've put a lot of work into stretching this."

"What do you mean?" I ask

"I have been giving you increasingly large meals to see how much you could eat. Now I know, I am going to start fattening you up."

I would love that. He would take measurements every week and then give me the large meals. And instead of asking if I want cake and ice cream, he will just give me it and expect me to eat it. I would happily do that.

Does that make sense?

Anyway, the point of my post (finally!) is to ask if anybody could suggest a way I can approach this? Without getting welfare or social services overly involved in my Grandmother's care.

Thanks.

Irishrunner:
Maybe the speed gainer? Trying to gain as much as possible as quickly as possible for shocking results.

AskDrFeeder:
Intentional Gaining philosophies.

Can you think of any more? Which one are you?

1. Careful planner -- you decide on how much you want to gain, gain that much and stop.

2. Stage by stage -- you gain a certain amount and then re-evaluate, possibly stopping, possibly gaining more.

3. Letting go -- you focus on eating all you want and gaining all you want don't think much about weight limits unless it becomes an issue.

4. Max -- you try to get as big as possible.

5. Stuffer -- you're more into stuffing and getting really full. Gaining is just a side-effect.

6. Like #3, but with the additional goal of going out-of-control.

Plushie:
This is mostly for the girlie pops... What kind of outfits you like wearing the most? What are we wearing this summer season?

I love wearing pink, tennis skirts, rompers... like the bodysuit kind? yeah. and short dresses. I am thinking about buying some long ones though as to switch it up.

Recently I've been wearing a lot of like yoga pants... you know like the fold-over ones. They're so comfy.

Personally, I love seeing fat girls in dresses. Especially short ones paired with a shrug thingy.

Finickyfeedee:
I recently got a remote control wearable vibrator and would like to use it to try to condition myself to eat more. Has anyone got experience with this? What’s the best way to do it - every time you eat (within the bounds of appropriate settings, of course), or only when eating a specific fattening food to try to form a strong connection? Or is it more effective to do it only when stuffed to your limit?

Munchies:
It depends on what you're trying to achieve. Keep in mind, you are tying sexual pleasure to an act to achieve a desired outcome.

If you tie sexual pleasure to a specific food or beverage, then you'll get horny whenever you encounter it. If you tie the act of eating (in an appropriate context) to sexual pleasure, then you'll tie your specific flavor of feedism to sexual pleasure.

There is a flip side to this. If you enhance your desire to eat with sexual pleasure, you tie your sexual pleasure to your desire to eat. This can form addictive behaviors. I highly discourage doing this solo because it is very easy to go off the deep-end.

I've done this with a number of feedees, and it's always a good time. But when I do, I have to monitor their behaviors closely and intervene if they start going off the deep end. Also, if you decided to stop or cut back for one reason or another, it's exceptionally hard to stop.

Finickyfeedee:
What I’m hoping to achieve is for eating to actually be pleasurable in some way instead of just a tedious means to an end so that I actually want to do it.

Having historically struggled badly in the other direction, I’m not too worried about risks - even in a worst case scenario, being unable to stop would be infinitely better than my usual problem of having long periods every month or two where I can barely eat at all due to lack of appetite and food just seeming disgusting. It makes gaining hard which is annoying but it also makes just functioning pretty hard when it’s particularly bad. I’ve tried just about everything to get out of that cycle but nothing has worked, I’m hoping this will.

MountainChub:
Can you suppress the fetish and find happyness trough other aspects in life?

Enas:
I dont know how you can find happyness from a fetish, at least directly. A fetish has to do with pleasure, in order to find happyness you need to work for a higher cause, and so on.

What my advice is, is to start working on something exciting, so exciting that it makes you forget about your fetish! Dont try to do anything with the fetish itself, just let yourself get carried away from it, with something else.

Munchies:
This is like trying to kick binge eating by taking up smoking.

Assuming he has maladaptive habits with his feedist kink, it's just swapping one vice for another at best, or ending up with multiple vices at worst.

Enas:
Sorry, i didnt word it well enough. I had in mind things like reading / writing, learning, making art, or going on bysicle rides (thats something i enjoy a lot)

Munchies:
And that's putting lipstick on a pig. If you try to deal with internal issues only by focusing on external things, you won't get very far. You need to address the internal motivation as well.

Still, fetishes and kinks are a part of you. You can find healthier ways to indulge it but can't suppress it - at least for long.

Enas:
Of what use is it to adressed the internal motivation, if you cannot surpress the fetish?

Do you mean for example, psychological addictions that might have developed?

MountainChub:
Can you suppress the fetish and find happyness trough other aspects in life?

Enas:
I dont know how you can find happyness from a fetish, at least directly. A fetish has to do with pleasure, in order to find happyness you need to work for a higher cause, and so on.

What my advice is, is to start working on something exciting, so exciting that it makes you forget about your fetish! Dont try to do anything with the fetish itself, just let yourself get carried away from it, with something else.

Munchies:
This is like trying to kick binge eating by taking up smoking.

Assuming he has maladaptive habits with his feedist kink, it's just swapping one vice for another at best, or ending up with multiple vices at worst.

Enas:
Sorry, i didnt word it well enough. I had in mind things like reading / writing, learning, making art, or going on bysicle rides (thats something i enjoy a lot)

MountainChub:
Can you suppress the fetish and find happyness trough other aspects in life?

Enas:
I dont know how you can find happyness from a fetish, at least directly. A fetish has to do with pleasure, in order to find happyness you need to work for a higher cause, and so on.

What my advice is, is to start working on something exciting, so exciting that it makes you forget about your fetish! Dont try to do anything with the fetish itself, just let yourself get carried away from it, with something else.