OK, here's what I did, and it came out very successfully.

2 parts barley
1 part apricots
1 part raisins/sultanas/cranberries
1 part roasted walnuts and almonds
4 parts water
sugar, cinammon, allspice, nutmeg to taste (spices are optional)

Mix everything together in a big pot and let it soak overnight.
The next day, cook over low heat for an hour, until water is absorbed. Taste and see if the barley is cooked enough--if not, add more water and continue simmering. You should be sure that the barley is cooked enough, and there's no water, so add water sparingly and let it absorb fully before adding more. Be sure to stir constantly to avoid sticking on the bottom of the pan. It should take about 1-1.5 hours to cook completely.

Place on a windowsill or back pantry to cool. Serve at this temperature, with yogurt, cream, sour cream, or ice cream, if desired. Also makes a good breakfast, if heated.

This is one of the many reasons I dislike the terms 'feeder' and 'feedee'. I can't change the community's practices, but I don't use them. When I was actively gaining, with or without help, I thought of myself as a 'gainer'. It gave me much more control, instead of having something done to me by someone else, or imagining my sexual identity only in relation to someone else (and theirs in relation to me).

I know there are some people who agree with me, and some who don't. Makes us a diverse community, which is pretty cool...

I'm sorry, loveto. I'll try it with the recipe again--long time since I measured while making it. If I figure out what's wrong, I'll post. Apologies!