Ninjaturtle94:
My wife says she wished I never told her about my fetish. She said it’s all she thinks about now and can’t really cope with it. She says she isn’t into it but doesn’t feel like it’s right to keep me from indulging in my fantasies.

We had sex a few nights ago and she said it was different because she had thoughts in her mind thinking I was thinking of how attractive our bellies are. She also asked that I dont have my hands on my belly around her to because it makes her uncomfortable.

I told her we should abstain from sex until she feels better and the shock of the news starts to wear off. She says she’s worried if she can’t give me attention like that I’ll go on “an eating bender” to get her attention.

I assured her I will not do that and to take her time. I don’t want to be huge I just want to gain a little

Bellclutch:
Not feeder or feeder but my friend while wanting to help me gain weight has also put on some weight as well

Munchies:
It is complicated for sure.

I'm of the mind that everyone has the right to bodily autonomy. I don't think someone should have to get permission from their spouse to get fat.

However, the true issue is not the fetish. This disagreement they have with OP's fetish appears to be a proxy to a much larger issue. I don't know if it's something between them or an internal issue that OP's wife hasn't dealt with. But it is very clear to me that the true issue has nothing to do with his fetish at all.

Ninjaturtle94:
We have a great marriage and get along very well. We’ve never given each other reasons to not trust or anything like that. She has always had body issues and since our daughter was born it’s gotten worse. I do my best to reassure her she is beautiful and attractive but she says she doesn’t believe me

Munchies:
And there it is.

This is a case of internalized fatphobia projected outward. She sees herself getting fat as failure on her part. I wouldn't be shocked if she's been living vicariously through your fitness, either. A bit of "I might be fat, but at least I have a muscular man that loves me. At least if I have him, I won't be a complete failure."

And then you come out and tell her you want to be fat, too.

Now, don't get me wrong. The way you planned on gaining was objectively stupid, and I am glad you decided not to do it this way. But she would have been upset no matter how you chose to do it.

I doubt this is a trust issue on her end. She probably hasn't engaged with these thoughts very much - if at all.

Ninjaturtle94:
Out of curiosity, what would happen from drinking a quart of heavy cream and maltodextrin?

LoLbreadplease:
This is a tough question. My spouse is also not into this fetish. It hasn't been easy, but we've gotten to a point where he understands that his wife is fat now, but he knows he loves me for me, and he's willing to rub my belly because it's what I need. I personally don't think our weight is something our spouses should control. I don't think your wife should get to say, no you can't gain weight, when it's simply not her decision. She doesn't have to like it, but ideally she understands why youre doing it and can compromise. If you guys can't reach a compromise, if she says she can't stand by and be witness, but you still go for it, you do run the risk of ending the relationship over this. I think you have decide what's worth it for you.

One thing that helped me was reading about what to do if one spouse is into a fetish and the other isn't. If the spouse is able to, I think they should find a way to support their partners. Maybe they can't, if the fetish is BDSM, and they have a history of trauma. That could end the relationship. But exploring one's fetish is very important. I think your spouse should understand our fetishes are part of our sexualities, and our sexualities are part of our identities, and it would not be fair if you're never allowed to take part in your fetish.

Some ways they can support without participating: learning about it or talking about it with you. Or allowing you space to explore it, like time when you can be on the internet engaging with others in the community.

Munchies was right that the answer isn't to gain behind her back. Try to reach an agreement before you gain. If she is never going to be ok with it, if she is going to kink shame you while you're gaining, that's not ok. She has to know you're doing it and why you're doing it, and coexist with it, and you have to hold your end of the bargain.

Also, I hope she's not kink shaming you, that's not ok.

I'm sorry she will not touch your love handles. You are a sexy human.

Munchies:
It is complicated for sure.

I'm of the mind that everyone has the right to bodily autonomy. I don't think someone should have to get permission from their spouse to get fat.

However, the true issue is not the fetish. This disagreement they have with OP's fetish appears to be a proxy to a much larger issue. I don't know if it's something between them or an internal issue that OP's wife hasn't dealt with. But it is very clear to me that the true issue has nothing to do with his fetish at all.

Ninjaturtle94:
We have a great marriage and get along very well. We’ve never given each other reasons to not trust or anything like that. She has always had body issues and since our daughter was born it’s gotten worse. I do my best to reassure her she is beautiful and attractive but she says she doesn’t believe me

BobHoops00:
Me and my are in a feederism relationship. Me the feeder, my wife the feedee, she's currently 210lb. It's mainly in her stomach. But we're kinda new to this. Where can she find Plus Size clothing that's not expensive? We tried Walmart, Target and Torrid. But she didn't like the look (too plain looking). So where can we go? Thanks ✌️

Joshuanorris198:
Try to use the meal plan and make sure you include muscle relaxers and appetite stimulants and 20x of lactation hormone pills

LoLbreadplease:
This is a tough question. My spouse is also not into this fetish. It hasn't been easy, but we've gotten to a point where he understands that his wife is fat now, but he knows he loves me for me, and he's willing to rub my belly because it's what I need. I personally don't think our weight is something our spouses should control. I don't think your wife should get to say, no you can't gain weight, when it's simply not her decision. She doesn't have to like it, but ideally she understands why youre doing it and can compromise. If you guys can't reach a compromise, if she says she can't stand by and be witness, but you still go for it, you do run the risk of ending the relationship over this. I think you have decide what's worth it for you.

One thing that helped me was reading about what to do if one spouse is into a fetish and the other isn't. If the spouse is able to, I think they should find a way to support their partners. Maybe they can't, if the fetish is BDSM, and they have a history of trauma. That could end the relationship. But exploring one's fetish is very important. I think your spouse should understand our fetishes are part of our sexualities, and our sexualities are part of our identities, and it would not be fair if you're never allowed to take part in your fetish.

Some ways they can support without participating: learning about it or talking about it with you. Or allowing you space to explore it, like time when you can be on the internet engaging with others in the community.

Munchies was right that the answer isn't to gain behind her back. Try to reach an agreement before you gain. If she is never going to be ok with it, if she is going to kink shame you while you're gaining, that's not ok. She has to know you're doing it and why you're doing it, and coexist with it, and you have to hold your end of the bargain.

Also, I hope she's not kink shaming you, that's not ok.

I'm sorry she will not touch your love handles. You are a sexy human.

BromineMoon:
With obesity rates rising worldwide, does anyone else think that fat appreciation will become more commonplace?

CelticBlimp:
Sometimes I think what it would be like being taken by a feeder away from society, far from worries and responsibilities, far from struggle and drama. Just being happy together in a hedonistic life were only love and fattening exists, my body being engorged daily and swollen till only I can see an ocean of fat and my partner perched on top of me and living his dream as well.

BiggerestBelly:
Okay,

Surely after all the time FantasyFeeder has been around and all the time we've had to share and collaborate on gaining...

Surely, someone among us has found the most effective and palatable daily weight gain shake.

Boost? Heavy cream? A particular brand of mass gainer?

What daily supplement or shake recipe has ACTUALLY made a difference for you in your own gains?

Munchies:
Extreme feeder here. I've tried out a number of shakes with the feedees I've had. I don't use them anymore because I find food works so much better. Not only is food more cost effective, but it's easier to fatten up a feedee with delicious food long term. The shakes are better for short-term rapid gains.

BiggerestBelly:
I know regular food is better but I just so love chugging lol