This advice is generally good, but what makes it manipulation is the secrecy and the intent to pavlov her without consent. Don't do that to people. Instead, just have open and honest communication, and let her have control over how much exploring she wants to do.

But yeah, ease her into it gently. Don't try to do a big stuffing or pick anything too heavy. Try to avoid the uncomfortable parts of feeding. I'd pick something light, like a dessert she likes. Then just hand feed her and pamper her as a part of foreplay. Do all the normal erotic things between bites, I'm sure you know how to take it from there. You can always work up to something more another time if she likes it. But do stop the moment she tells you she's full.

Unless it's a BDSM thing and she wants to be dominated. In which case you'll have to walk that tightrope of putting her in subspace while not overwhelming her.

I don't know why I'm wading into this minefield, but here goes. I think the point that was being made was that most people are out here treating each other like objects. Men treat women like a piece of meat, and women treat men like an ATM. So the dynamic is different between men and women, but we're all humans and the hurt feelings are universal. The cycle that was being referred to was that nobody likes feeling used, and the kneejerk reaction for some people is to get defensive and pay it forward (regardless of gender). Yes, a lot of men are very culpable in this, but ultimately I don't think pointing fingers and blaming others for who started it is really that productive. The end result is still the same, a toxic environment for everybody.

The problem is too wide and runs too deep for simple solutions or for any one group to fix on their own. The only solution I can see is for every single person to make it a hostile environment for anyone who objectifies or dehumanizes others (regardless of gender), including calling out the moderators for not doing their job, as well as leading by example. On Feabie, I have seen some of this in action, men calling out the bad behavior of toxic men, and women criticizing toxic women. That's good, but there's not enough of it to make a real difference. Also, it always means SO much more when people police their own, instead of criticizing other groups. That's a great way to make everyone get defensive and reactionary and stop listening. This is 100% a team effort.

For clarity: No, this post is not aimed at being critical of anyone in this thread. No, I am not blaming women for anything. No, it's not their responsibility to stop men from acting predatory. Yes, a lot of men are contributing to this toxic environment. No, men are not the only ones doing so. No, I don't think it's equivalent in severity. Yes, this problem is complicated. Yes, that means it needs everyone on board to police bad behavior. Yes, on both sides. No, I have not personally done enough, mostly because I have social anxiety and I hate confrontation, but I'm working on it.

P.S. This post is my attempt to lead by example and try to steer this into a civil discussion. No, I'm not looking for pats on the back, I point it out so that others might try to do the same elsewhere.

I, too, am butthurt about scams. Not this situation though, I mean the real ones.

Anything involving swimming. It's low impact exercise, plus floating might be an advantage.

I agree with your first point, the gainer should explore this lifestyle with a supportive partner and try not to lay the responsibility for their needs at their relatives' feet, if possible. That's just being considerate. The part about burdening society though, I've heard that argument from fatphobic people before, and the problem with it is that it doesn't apply the same standard to any other medical issue. If we're to start questioning how deserving people are of medical care based on whether they were at fault for needing it in the first place, that opens the door to a pretty dark place.

Diabetes is a lifestyle disease based on diet, so do diabetics deserve taxpayer funded insulin? Do smokers deserve treatment for lung cancer? Should athletes be treated for spinal injuries? If someone becomes disabled due to a car accident that was preventable, do they have a right to a wheelchair? Should drug addicts get medical intervention to prevent an OD? The number of medical conditions that are at least partially caused by the patient is staggeringly high.

Another issue with the argument is that anyone paying into the system through taxes should be deserving of the benefits that come from the system they are helping to pay for. In that way, taxes should at the very least be a sort of life insurance for tax paying citizens, otherwise what is the point of paying in the first place? As a society that doesn't like to be thought of as cruel, we also try to extend those same benefits to people who are unable to pay taxes, because most people would agree that every person is deserving of having their basic survival needs met, regardless.

Also, the wider impact on society of some people choosing to gain a massive amount of weight is negligible, especially since it's such a niche interest that very few people will actually attempt. I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of people who need obesity-related healthcare are not doing so intentionally. That's not an ethical point, but it's still true. It's like saying that if everyone who went to the moon took home a pebble as a souvenir, then eventually there would be no moon rocks left at all. Might be true in a hypothetical fantasy, still absurd given the reality.

I want to send photos to someone through a message, but there doesn't seem to be any attachment button, and it looks like messages are text only. Is there any way to send a photo through the site without uploading it to your profile?

I'll try to rephrase. I hope you get free of your situation and find the guy you're looking for. You deserve a break. The kind of guys you want are out there for sure. However, they're actually pretty rare. Like exceedingly rare, probably less than 1 in a million. Those kind of guys know how valuable they are too, so they're very picky about who they spend time with, since they have their pick from lots of interested women. That also makes them extremely cautious about people who want to take advantage of them, so they are guarded against everybody. The type of ad you made sounds enticing, but would raise too many red flags. Maybe you should change your approach. Try contacting people directly so you can build trust first before laying out your situation. Also, most people have to search for years before finding mr. right, so maybe try to find an alternative means of escape on your own. Personally, I'd be very interested, but I'll just have to keep you in mind in case I ever make over 6 figures someday, lol. Good luck

Good point, and I have noticed something similar regarding trauma. I agree that it depends on how they deal with it. For some, trauma is debilitating, and can lead to depression, kill their self-esteem, and they become apathetic about what happens to them, so food becomes an escape. I think that's probably most of the people who end up on My 600 lb life filled with regrets. In that case, encouraging them would be unethical because you'd be taking advantage of their weakness to help them do something that they know is self-harm, but they don't care about their own well-being. It's similar to how we view drinking alcohol, consent means less when judgment is impaired.

But for others, trauma can shape who they are, even as they move past it. Our personalities are influenced by our own life experiences, good and bad. It doesn't make their desires any less valid. As a personal example, I have had some pretty horrible experiences surrounding work. At this point, I don't trust any employer not to steal from my wages. These experiences have influenced me to want to start my own business. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that decision, even if something negative played a role in influencing it. The same can be true for weight gain.

I think it has to do with having special interests. If you can obsessively fixate on Pokemon, you can also obsessively fixate on kink. lol

Fetishes - gotta catch em all!

Finally, there's virtue ethics, which is based on the idea that everyone should cultivate good personality traits (virtues) and act in accordance, while avoiding bad traits (vice). "Be the change you want to see in the world". Actions are only morally good if they reflect the moral ideal. Of course, the first question is who decides what counts as a virtue? There doesn't seem to be a definitive answer. Some have a personal role model, others trust in religious scripture as a guide, others take a philosophical approach. But in our case, let's just assume that Aristotle got it right the first time. He had a whole chart of virtues and vices. According to him, the 12 virtues are:

Courage or bravery in the face of fear,
Temperance, moderation, and restraint in the face of pleasure or pain,
Liberality or generosity with money,
Magnificence, industriousness, or doing something worthy with wealth and opportunity,
Magnanimity, humility and nobility with one's honor,
Proper ambition and pride in accomplishments,
Patience and good temper,
Truthfulness and honesty,
Wittiness and good humor in conversation,
Friendliness,
Modesty,
A sense of justice, and righteous indignation in the face of injury.

So let's see, helping someone to gain massive amounts of weight is self-indulgent, shameless, and probably a tasteless use of money (all vices). However, it also involves generosity, ambition and pride, courage to face the risks, and needs both honesty and patience to make such an arrangement work (all virtues). I haven't read deeply enough into Aristotle to find out if he had a system for weighing competing virtues against each other, but let's take the more conservative route and assume that someone must have every virtue all the time in order to avoid being unethical. So according to that standard of virtue ethics, encouraging someone to immobility is indeed morally wrong. But then, so is any degree of gluttony or even exploring kink in general, which display the same vices. The big question here is are you willing to live by that strict moral code and apply it to every situation? Will you try to avoid all forms of self-indulgence? The fact that your vices may be to a lesser degree than others won't excuse the fact that you are basically committing the same sin just by being part of this community.

So yeah, I guess it's up to everyone to decide for themselves, but unless there is some kind of rational foundation behind your ethics, it's pointless to hear about them.