I wasn't married, but I have some experience with this. Obviously it depends a lot on your personalities and the strength of your relationship and your fetish, so maybe it can work for you. From what I've seen, most fat people not into feedism are unhappy with their bodies and want to lose weight. Even the ones who seem content with their bodies will eventually reach a moment of clarity where they're too fat to do something they used to, or they have a sobering doctor's visit, and now they want to lose all of the weight as quickly as possible.

You won't be able to just ignore it. It will be in your face at all times because their weight loss efforts will replace a lot of both their free time and conversation topics. They won't be able to enjoy anything food-related with you anymore, so a major way you interact with each other will have to change overnight. They will still expect you to be 110% supportive and happy for their weight loss. Even if you're happy for their happiness, it will be hard since they hate the very thing you're attracted to and are actively getting rid of it. If you try to express your desires to them, they will look at you like some kind of monster who wants to cause them harm for your own sick pleasure. Of course it doesn't bother them at all that you have to keep your entire sexuality (an important part of you) bottled up inside with no outlet just to spare their feelings. Even if you don't express any of this to them, they will be able to sense something's wrong. You will have to lie and pretend everything's fine of course, there's no way to make them understand what's bothering you. The forced secrecy will bother you even more than the weight loss does.

Resentment will start to creep in. You will find yourself secretly wishing that their diet will fail. For every pound they lose, you'll hope they gain back two. Wishing for your partner's failure is obviously really unhealthy for the relationship, and it will probably disintegrate on its own if neither of you ends it first. People say that sex (i.e. sexual compatibility) isn't everything in a relationship. They're only right in the same way that the bread isn't "everything" in a sandwich. Obviously you don't want your sandwich to be just bread, that would be boring. But it's still super important, because without it, the whole thing falls apart in your hands. (Did you like the food metaphor I just did there?) Honestly, if you're a feeder and you can't find a feedist relationship, it's easier to just be alone.

I also have clinical depression, but I find that just occupying my mind with hobbies doesn't really pay off. It can be fun in the moment, but I still end up just as depressed after. Here's what actually works for me.

- Keep taking your medication
- See a therapist
- Make time to hang out with friends IN PERSON at least once a week. Rearrange your schedule somehow or make new friends that you can hang with on your time. We're social creatures that aren't meant to be alone, so your depression will win if you can't do this.
- Finally, make a life plan. Here's how.

Basically, you start by picturing what your life would look like in the future if you have everything you need to be truly content. Any dreams or goals you might have.
Then you work backwards from there, thinking of what you would need to do to get from where you are now to your dream life.
Then you break down those tasks into small, specific steps. "Get a better job" is too vague. List every small step involved, including touching up your resume, which sites you will look at listings on, etc. figure out what your salary would need to be to pay for your monthly expenses in the future. If you want to buy a house in 10 years, research the prices, the neighborhood and everything else now. Do all the research up front on everything so that nothing is left to figure out later.
This is a big research project that will take you weeks or even a couple of months to complete, but your mind will be completely occupied the whole time. By the time you finish, you'll have a step by step guide that you know will make your life great at the end.
Then, just make an effort to work on completing your to-do list one small step at a time. Allow yourself to celebrate each accomplishment. As long as you keep checking things off your list and making progress, you will feel a lot better. Hands down the most effective at relieving my symptoms. Of course your mileage may vary. But this is solid advice for everybody on earth, not just depressed people.

In a way, it actually makes it EASIER to find someone. It all depends on how you look at it. Because I know for a fact that there are plenty of people out there that are looking for the exact same thing you are. But the less serious dating options there are for them, the more likely it is that those people will come running to you when you put your intentions out there. It's simple supply and demand really. There's a line from an old Cole Porter song that sums it up nicely.

"When most guys today
That women prize today
Are just silly gigolos,
And though I'm not a great romancer,
I know that you're bound to answer
When I propose.
Anything goes."

There are a couple caveats though. First, you will have way more success if you are OK with expanding your search and trying a long distance relationship until one of you can relocate. It's a bummer, but where there's a will, there's a way. The other caveat is that you actually have to be somewhat charming and not come off like a creep. So it does take SOME effort. But yeah, just start messaging people you like, and after a quick chat, tell them what you're looking for in a relationship and see if you click. Having confidence in your ability to both get what you want, and give them what they want is the key to success here. And don't settle for less or neither of you will end up very happy.

lol ok. I didn't say you misunderstood, I said you mischaracterized. But this is silly, we should just let this thread get back on topic before it gets derailed forever.

That's ok dude, nobody said we have to agree on anything. But you understand that when you mischaracterize my intent, even if unintentionally, I need to clarify so that others can understand my position.

OK, now I can see that you just aren't reading my posts. I explicitly said in the very post you quoted above that it isn't forced. I have no idea where you got this idea about treating people like animals, but I'd appreciate if you would stop trying to twist my words into some kind of gotcha moment. It's not a good look on you.

I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. Of course if you stop scratching my back, then I'll have to go elsewhere because I still need back scratches. Nothing is being forced, and the contract is unspoken.

I'm literally talking about the same thing you are, I'm just phrasing it in a different way so that OP can see that there is NO difference between feeders and anyone else. A relationship based on feeding is not any more selfish or deceitful than normal vanilla dating.

The search function for profiles is not working properly. This issue may be site wide and effect other search features, but I have no idea.

The issue is that when you browse user profiles, the first page of results will be fine. But once you click to the second page, the results will go out of order, and I will often see profiles from the first page show up on other pages. If I click back to the first page, the results are not in the same order as they were the first time, and include some results from the second page, etc. There's no consistency to how the results appear from page to page, so there are going to be some results that never show up, as they're constantly being shuffled around.

Doing a basic example search, here was the URL on the first page:
fantasyfeeder.com/profiles

And here was the URL for the second page:
fantasyfeeder.com/profiles

Playing spot the difference, the glaring omission in the second page is that "&order=last+online" is missing from the URL. Clicking back to the first page does not restore the original URL, it only changes "&rowStart=20" to "&rowStart=0".

Instead of clicking to the next page, if I stay on the first page and manually change the value of rowStart in increments of 20, the search results stay in the proper order and everything works as it should.

The site is old, and I imagine there is a lot of legacy code that is having a conflict somewhere. You may just need to rebuild the search function if you can't find the cause of the problem.

If you do, I'd like to see some new fields on the advanced search. Specifically, I'd like the ability to order results by distance, so that users closest to my location appear first. And I'd also like the ability to search for keywords within profile text. For example, if i search for "metal", it should show me all profiles that include metal in their about me section or interests.

Right after posting this, I noticed an unrelated issue. The URLs in my post are not wrapping properly because they don't contain spaces, so they are extending beyond the edge of the page. I'm using Chrome.

Relationships are transactional by their nature, even the vanilla kind. The price you pay is the time and effort it takes to emotionally support and be devoted to your partner. The reward you receive is the feeling of being in love with someone who loves you back, a life companion, and the support of someone who wants you to be happy. If you were not receiving any of these rewards, would you continue to pay the same price?

I have no experience either, all my knowledge comes from porn and fetlife, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

But basically, you need to get her consent to stop thinking about her consent. You do that by discussing her limits. Once you know that you can do literally anything you want within some boundaries, you can feel free to just go wild and experiment. At that point it becomes a game where you are testing the limits of your own comfort zone while still staying within hers.

In general, you shouldn't be asking her if she's still ok during each act. That's a good way to make her lose the immersion and get frustrated. It's best to just try something and watch her reaction to see how she's doing. If she's not ok with it, she will tell you or give you a clear sign. The best way to dom is when you feel free to be wickedly creative, rather than feeling constrained to a rigid scenario. Nobody likes to be a service top. If something you both want to do feels unnatural to you at first, keep trying it anyway and fake it til you make it.

With being a Master instead of just a dom, there's a lot more to it. But all the same rules apply, you just need to apply it to every facet of her life instead of just sex. Try to keep her busy throughout the day instead of having long periods where she's waiting on you to tell her what to do.

Since you wanted ideas, here are some to get started with...

If she likes physical domination -- you can set up scenarios where she is bound and blindfolded, and then (safely) cause her pain. More than the pain itself, she'll be into the fear of not knowing when or where the next blow will land, and being powerless to avoid it.

You can also work domination into your normal sex routine by physically handling her. Instead of telling her to get on the bed, push her onto the bed and move her into position yourself. You can also do things like pulling her hair, slapping her face, pushing her head down, covering her mouth, etc. so she feels completely at your mercy. It's a simple addition, but it works.

If she likes emotional domination -- then it's much better to improvise than keep doing the same things, since she can get used to it. Whatever you do, the point is for her to feel much lower than you. Things like making her eat off the floor, rubbing her face in food, making her kiss your shoes, etc. Always follow up a degrading act by making fun of her to drive it home. Play on her insecurities, because that will have the most effect.

You can work humiliation into normal sex by doing things that make her feel awkward or embarrassed. For example, while she's deepthroating you, you could hold her head in place, tell her to recite the pledge of allegiance, and then scold her for mumbling. Spitting on her face is another easy thing you can do in any occasion. As long as you're laughing at her misery, she'll enjoy it.

If she likes mental domination -- this is the trickiest to get right, and some understanding of human psychology is a plus. One aspect of mental domination can be to set yourself up as being all-knowing. Pay attention to her fantasies and then tell her how she's feeling when you act them out. Ask her questions about what aspects she likes and how she feels about herself for liking it, then feed the information back to her next time. Try to get inside her head as much as possible. The more accurate you are, the more she will be impressed and intimidated, and therefore submissive.

In mindfuck scenarios the idea is to keep her feeling disoriented and emotionally out of control. Be unpredictable and break her expectations at every turn. Hide your true emotions and intentions from her, give her the impression that almost anything can happen, and then completely outsmart her. Add elements of withholding what she wants, edging and teasing. Make sure she feels as though it isn't just roleplay and something real is at stake (when in reality it's still just roleplay and within her limits). This will probably take careful planning to set up.

In the context of a long term relationships with a TPE dynamic, the point is instead to increase her devotion to you and her reliance on you. There are many ways to do this, but you basically need to strip her of all autonomy. Make her ask permission to orgasm or go to the bathroom or sit on furniture. Make sure the only food she eats is hand fed by you. Have rules for clothes, eye contact, posture, and speech. Make it so that she is hyper aware of every movement she makes, as everything is done in your service. Punish her when she screws up, but not with pain. Instead, give her long periods of sensory deprivation as a "timeout". Yes, this will be extremely exhausting for you.

But yeah, just make sure she is into the stuff you want to try before you try it. Hope this helped.

EDIT: Forgot to mention aftercare. Google it, it's important.