Let us know if it helps any.
Ice cream puts weight on me easily so it may do that on you YMMV of course.
I'm not an active gainer anymore so I don't eat ice cream much these days.

Worked really good for me.

Drink heavy cream a couple of times a day or eat a bowl of ice cream before bed.

Kind of what I did for a while.
Went back to college to get a business degree while working at my small business.
Few friends saw me for several years.
After 3 years or so I had gone from 115 to 190 lbs.
The people at school never really said anything about my weight because they saw me quite often and the gain was slow so it seemed normal.
Friends that hadn't seen me were shocked I was so big.

It can be odd at first but when you think of them as like you its not so bad.
Just like making a new friend it takes time.
Don't worry about labels or what term to call yourself because it really doesn't matter just be yourself.

I agree with Sadie.
Talk thru it is about all you can do.

If its something you are into then by all means have fun with it.

I'm fat in real life and its not a fetish.
In fact I don't have any fetishes other than cute womens feet but its not an obsession.

Jill fat will generally go wherever it wants.
When I first started gaining I got a muffin top with love handles.
As I gained more it became more of a beer belly.
After years of a beer belly and eventually losing weight I started gaining some of it back and my belly did more of the sagging thing like whats happening to you.

The accepting part is what is hard for some to do.
I came to accept I was bi sexual around 25 or 26 years old and its never been a problem both sexes are very beautiful and have their advantages.