Welcome back Bonnie.

Seems the problem is self motivation so fix that problem and you won't need to make a challenge.
Chances are you aren't going to do the challenge anyway because you don't have the will.
Why do people say they will do something when they know they aren't going to do it?

I think its OK for you to explore your sexuality and your desires.
I felt that way about chubby and fat girls/ women. Feeling their soft plush bodies rubbing mine and how exciting it was.
Enjoy exploring.

OMG yes I love it !!
I loved to wear a top just a size or two too small so my big flabby belly would peek out and jiggle when I waddled along pushing my grocery cart.
Sounds so silly I know but it was exciting for some reason.
When I first started to get a muffin top I wore crop tops all during the summer letting my fat hang out.

I have gained a bunch then lost 80-100 lbs and gained it all back several years later.
Never really thought about it but I did enjoy the process of gaining it all back and fitting in my old fat clothes.

One tip I can give don't get on the scale every day expecting to see more weight only to be let down.
When I was a gainer I stepped on the scale on the last day of the month to see what I had gained that month.
Its better to be surprised than let down.

Its OK don't worry I totally get where you are coming from

A farm customer came in my office and said he had an appointment with our farm manager.
I had him take a seat and called my boss to tell him his appointment was here.
I could tell something was going on because I was getting all flustered and warm down there and quite tingly.
My boss came in and he heard me sigh rather loudly after they left.
That is the only time that ever happened in my life.

I reached a plateau a few times and did not gain any for quite a while.
I just kept on my plan and started to gain again.

I have always preferred fat guys even back in high school.
My friends thought I was crazy and told me I could take my pick of the boys but I liked the fat boys because they were friendlier and more fun.
Cuter too.