Shame this thread's OP is missing...

Anyway, I've been throwing this together when I know my roommate is going to be out of the house!

1 Pint B&J's Vanilla Ice Cream (1000 cal)
1 Pint Half and Half (640 cal)
2 big gobs of peanut butter (?)
2 scoops of protein shake mix (310 cal)

The peanut butter is kinda hard to gauge, but I just take two massive scoops out of the jar with a tea spoon. About 14 servings in a jar, and there's 1/3rd of a jar left after two shakes, so I'll go with 5 servings * 190 calories = 950)

Comes out to roughly 2900 calories, give or take some. Really tasty too.

(I prefer this method over using PB Cup ice cream, because I find the chunky stuff just gets stuck at the bottom)...

I am definitely open to an improvement on this recipe!

I have a funnel with some rubber tubing on it - I like to grab a couple milkshakes from McDonalds, eat a meal while the melt (enough to flow through the tube, rather than sit on top and slowly move down...)

The only negative... a combination of brain freeze, and wanting to keep chugging... and if you stop to take a break, you can't take the tube out of your mouth or you'll have a huge mess. So you kind of sit there with your tongue plugging the hose waiting for the brain freeze to go away.

I have a funnel with some rubber tubing on it - I like to grab a couple milkshakes from McDonalds, eat a meal while the melt (enough to flow through the tube, rather than sit on top and slowly move down...)

The only negative... a combination of brain freeze, and wanting to keep chugging... and if you stop to take a break, you can't take the tube out of your mouth or you'll have a huge mess. So you kind of sit there with your tongue plugging the hose waiting for the brain freeze to go away.

I have two identical pairs of work pants, one waist is 2 inches smaller than the other. I outgrew the smaller recently, but have held on to them for whatever reason.

The other day I was getting ready for work, and realized I had trouble buttoning my pants. Oops, I grabbed the smaller pair.

I switched over to the other pair, and couldn't even come close to buttoning them.

Then I realized the pair I had trouble buttoning wasn't the smaller pair.

Made me smile a bit.

I have a childhood memory of staying with an older neighbor lady as a child for about a week when my parents went away for a week.

When we got there, after my parents left, she acknowledge me and my sister as "so let's see, you must be Hansel and you're Gretel". Then she turned to me and said "I guess I'm going to have to fatten you up".

I was 7 or 8, and I think my jaw hit the floor. She was kidding in a very strange manner, but I recall being disappointed.

Reminds me of my old college roommate. First day, he comes out to me.

"You should probably know I'm gay. Is that okay?"

"Well, I'm not. Is that okay?"

"Yes."

"We're cool then... you're not gonna be doing stuff up on the top bunk, right?"

"Ha, no."

"Okay, cool then."

....

Several weeks later, he began bringing a very fat girl by the dorm. Despite my own preferences, I found her to be kind of a lousy person and a bit of a spaz. Still, she came by somewhat frequently, and I recall at one point she said "Oh, I almost forgot my pie!"

She retrieved a half devoured pie from the fridge. I had just started reading up on weight gain sites (FatNats and Reuben's or something) and wondered if she was fat on purpose.

Anyway, after a short time, my roommate informed me "I think I might be bi."

My response was something like "well, boobs are nice".

I decided to try it, and here's what I can report so far:

I've taken three doses over three days. The first two made me very sleepy, and I wound up taking very long naps. One the second day, I woke up, neither hungry nor full. I ate a considerable amount of food (entire pizza, half a sub, about a quart and a half of milk), then fell back asleep. I was physically very full after eating all that, but had no discomfort and could have eaten more. Regardless, I was really tired, so I fell back asleep until this morning.

I woke up today and went straight to class. Got home about three hours ago, and took my third dose.

So far, I'm not drowsy, and have managed to put away (1) chocolate milk, (2) pop tarts, (8) Swiss Rolls, (1/2) quart of milk and (1) Digionio Pizza, personal size.

That's about 2800 calories in three hours, and I'm about to eat more. My stomach is being a bit noisy and is at about 38.5" inches (which is normal for "stuffed" for me). I'm obviously very full, but feel like I can just keep eating and eating.

1. Have an extra "stealth" meal before dining with them so you don't overeat in front of them.

2. Had a make-up meal AFTER dining with them, to make up for holding back.

3. Hide snacks in your bedroom, office, car, or other places.

As far as number 1 and 2 go, not really. I don't want to kill my appetite before dining out, but when we do dine out, I'm not shy about clearing my plate.

Number 3, absolutely - mostly because I don't want my intentions to be obvious.

Having a bowl of ice cream or a glass of chocolate milk? Fine, socially normal.

Devouring an entire quart of ice cream or chugging the entire half gallon of chocolate milk? Strange looks and follow up questions.

Intimate/playful teasing, yes.

Open humiliation, no way.

I made a trip to the hardware store today and put together an awesome funnel with a hose and a valve.

I wanted to test it out first with something not messy, so I set it up in the shower and let the shower head run into the funnel.

At first, I wanted to see how fast the water would come out of the hose, and was a bit concerned when it seemed to be gushing out pretty quickly. Still, I gave it a try, and it was the most amazing thing ever!

The water flow was fast and constant, and it was almost automatic how I could just swallow it with minimal effort. I thought it was easy to chug stuff from a bottle, but this is totally different. It's just automatic, forced on you. No need for head tilting, just in your mouth and down your throat. I feel pretty distended after a very short time. I could have gone one a little longer, but wanted to be careful to avoid water poisoning.

After, I tried it with a beer, which I think kind of topped me off for a bit. At the moment I feel really gassy and weigh 3 pounds more than I ever have.

Leaves me with a short todo list.

- Figure out some really fatty concoctions to place into the funnel.

- Find a way to stabilize the funnel. You definitely don't want any dips in the hose. Everything should be pointing down, except for maybe the last few inches to get it into your mouth. I'd like to be able to turn upside down a half gallon of chocolate milk (might need to switch out the funnel), and just let it rip... but right now there's too much risk for a spill.