i started to gain about a year ago.
at first i was "whatever i gain... i gain, if i lose i lose..."
but stuffing- just about each day, if not every other day...
has helped me grow.

i am at about 410 or 415. no scales around to measure properly.

my goal... in all honesty... is to 600 pounds, if not more.

this is my first time admitting this publicly.*blushies*

Amatrix is Latin for mistress.

easy enough because before i joined all kinds of fat loving groups... i was the one the people cheated on their lovers with.

like a mistress.

i like all metal.

seriously.

wooo wooo!

white widow.

om om nom.

i dont smoke regularly, but when i do it kinda is always different.

the last time i got really stoned with my boyfriend we had a pint of phish food ice cream and i forgot he was there... we were sitting on his bed eating the ice cream, half naked... watching futurama. i ate half of it cuz it was kinda melty, in like 2 huge bites...
he looked at me with his puffy red eyes and said...
"hey! your eating all the ice cream..."
and we both laughed so much it hurt.because i am fat and i stole the ice cream.

and we, he and i, get super horny from smoking. sometimes we get high and just make out for hours... or do the dirty for hours.
food tastes better, kisses and such are much more passionate.
we love to smoke, and small amounts are legal where he lives, which is denver colorado.
im so excited to see him tomorrow.
we dont always have to smoke... and no matter what we could be clean living for a whole month including no wine... which we have done... and still have an awesome time.

when i smoked with some friends from work we just hung out in the cooler and made jokes that wouldnt make sense now, and ate a buncha twizzlers and drank some monster energy drinks.