With me the cycle is more like: embrace the fantasy appeal for a while, then the rush wears off and I have to deal with reality and start trying to unwind whatever I gained while indulging in the fantasy. It isn't quite regret, I tend to remember the periods of indulging the fantasy very fondly. I guess any regret is that I'd have to re-model my reality a fair bit to have any chance of fitting the fantasy in there in a long term sort of way.

Heh, I'd read your previous post, and was going to write something about how a suddent surge of junk food might not be good....but I was too late!

By the way, you can condition yourself...at one point I went from having trouble with more than two donuts to being able to down half a dozen and wish that there was more, but it took a while to build up the sugar and fat tolerance. But I'm not really recommending it, unless (like it was for me), it is something you want to do just for the fantasy/thrill of it.

I also want to note that it sounds like you are going a bit from one extreme to another, from desperately trying to keep your body as toned as you could, to really pushing to make it a lot fatter. I don't know what is going on in your head, but I'd just ask why the big flip from trying to control it in one direction to trying to control it in the other?

One more note, changes may seem to come slowly for a while, but as your muscles lose tone you will then begin to look/feel fatter quite quickly I suspect. So be patient for the first month or three!

Take care;

-Ed

My suggestion, since you say you aren't a feedee, and your wife has not openly asked you to gain.....decide on the lifestyle you are comfortable with, and let your body then do what it wants. Because from what you said, it is not that biddable in the first place. So decide that perhaps you'll go to the gym for forty-five minutes, three times a week, or else that you'll get a small weight bench in the basement, or whatever, and will make sure that you keep taking walks, using the stairs, and generally staying active. And at the same time that you will eat in a reasonably, healthy, manner, with sane amounts of indulgences on top of the healthy stuff. And talk it over with your wife....then let what will be, be.

I do think that trying to control weight directly tends to be a bit of a fools game....choose the life/lifestyle you want, accept the weight that comes with it. (yes, even as an FA with feeder/feedee desires I say this)

Get him to watch 9 1/2 weeks with you, the strawberry feeding scene (granted, man feeding woman) is pretty hot. Then you can build off of that, especially with your plan of the chocolate dipped strawberries.

But note: for most people, being fed is not particularly erotic, and most likely will never be particularly erotic. So be prepared for the possibility that no matter how much you enjoy it, and how well it all works out....that it may not be something in which he ever gets much interested.

But good luck!

OK, so you've used words, but you say he's not accepting the words.

Actions speak louder than words, and in general especially to guys. Extra-especially if it has to do with sex. Sometimes the actions may need a few words to help clarify, but the emphasis should be on the actions, not the words. (your profile says you are in advertising--think of this as an ad campaign that needs to reach people with varying mother tongues, so the less words in the core message, the better).

You know him and yourself roughly seven bajillion times better than I do, obviously, so you'll be the one who can best tell how to communicate this to him with actions, but I'll throw out some suggestions just to get you started, but think of this like priming a brain-storming session, not as carefully thought out strategies.

- When having sex in the missionary position some time, pull him right down to lie on top of you (not so much supporting his weight on his arms), and make it very clear with body language that you are especially turned on. Afterward mention, maybe with an embarrassed expression, what a turn-on it is to feel pinned down by his weight.

- When there is some ad on explicitly showing a guy with chiseled abs, roll your eyes, snort in disgust, and change the channel, if you really need to maybe mutter "SO not appealing."

- When you are out and about with him, and you happen to see a good looking fat guy, 'lose your focus' for a moment in the conversation.

- If you cook, for some occasion when normally you two might go out, ask that you stay in and he let you cook up a real feast, and thank him for it, maybe mutter something along the lines of "Sorry, nurturing side taking over, soon I'll be like my grandma:'eat, eat!'"

- If his clothes are at all tight, and you have the spare cash, drag him out to nice store to buy some new pants (or suit, or something else quite fitted). Get him to try things on (and come out and show you), and make sure he buys something NOT tight, so it will probably be a size bigger than he normally gets (and at nice stores sizes tend to run smaller than at places like Old Navy). Once he has it, it is hemmed, etc, go out somewhere nice, insisting he wear it, saying you feel like showing him off....but once you are out murmur to him that you can't wait to get home and take it off of him (and make sure to follow up appropriately at the end of the evening.

- If he's getting too full to finish dessert, sashay around the table, crawl onto his lap, and insist on feeding some of it too him, between kisses.

- Out walking at night, or somewhere maybe a little dubious seeming, snuggle up a bit closer to him, wrap a tight arm around him, and say how being with someone bigger makes you feel safer.

- Take him out to the beach, don't let him hang out in a t-shirt, insist on applying suntan lotion to him, making little appreciative sounds while you do it, not least around his mid-section.

And note that it is not ONE thing that you do that will make the difference, it is the sum of everything.

At that, you may never convince him that he looks better with more weight on him, but you should be able to convince him that you honestly think he looks better with more weight on him. What he does about it then....only time could tell.

One question to ask yourself is: do those few pounds make a difference in how attracted to you are on their own, or are they mostly important to you as signs that she is gaining, and they could be the first step towards more?

I think it would be great to tell her how fantastic you think she looks, and find any places where the weight has made a difference and pay them extra attention. But totally not cool to do it in like "Great, you are finally gaining weight, that is a nice start and I can't wait until you gain more."

Also one tip: if she's having to do up her shorts with a safety pin, she isn't close to needing new clothes, she needs them now. She might be able to wear her current clothes, but they probably aren't comfortable and they sure won't be maximally flattering (sexy to you maybe because they highlight her gain, but not generally flattering). She might feel better once she has pants that fit properly. AND she gets rewarded for what she's gained so far, which helps show that you appreciate even this little gain.

And if she never gained more than this, how would you feel?

It is possible that right now your metabolism really is so fast that keeping weight on will be really hard, but you won't know until you really try And even if you can't keep it on now....a lot of people unintentionally gain weight not long past being 18, I really think that is a big part of the 'freshman 15" simply that people hit that age where they can't just keep eating junk without gaining. So keep at it, and if you don't gain right now, you might find that in six months or a year suddenly you do start filling out.

If you are frustrated with waiting for the weight, some things you two can do to have some weight related fun in the meantime:
- obviously go out and get as stuffed as possible sometimes, which will at least temporarily round out your gut, and tell your boyfriend how full you are and how big your belly feels and how much you like that and want it to grow.

- try doing some padding. Buy some cheap clothes up a size or two, and you can start with something as simple as small pillows or towels, filling up your clothes to look a little bigger. Again, then talk about it, how you can't wait to be that size, get him to tell you how hot he'll think you'll look, etc. If you are more daring, go and try on clothes while padded a bit.

- plan together how you can eat constantly. That is, go through your schedule for the next day and plan out all the food you'll eat, figuring out all the opportunities. Like "OK, so I'll have breakfast at home like normal, then what next? Oh, there is a donut store on the way to class, I could manage a couple of donuts I'm sure. And then between classes I could have a muffin, if I brought one with me. Oh, and the vendor machine has milk, I could have a carton of chocolate milk. Soon after that it will be lunch, and....."

As for how to change things so you can actually gain, everyone is different, and probably it will take some experiments to find out what works for you. I'd try that suggestions of eating all day long. Where your boyfriend may be able to help you is by reminding you to eat. I don't know if you are together at all during the day, if so he could even give food to you. But if not, he can help make sure that you have snacks with you, and then send you text messages or something to remind you to eat something.

Also, there are different kinds of feedee and feeder. Do you want to be made to eat, do you just want praise and encouragement? Does he want to be commanding and in control, or working with you cooperatively, or just watching and enjoying? Something for the two of you to work out between you.

Good luck, and have fun!

One specific piece of advice, you might love seeing her look fatter, like in clothes that are getting too tight or that are kind of skimpy on her, but she's the one who would have to deal with all the looks and comments and what not. So don't ask her to go out flaunting her fat, and help her make sure that she has clothes that fit well. (Not many women would say 'no' if their bf offered to go shopping with them)

A lot of mine run along the lines of: I'm in a relationship with a BBW, who happily gets fatter and more out of shape for a while, because it turns her on as much as it does me. Until she feels that she's gone farther than she is happy with...but she is still turned on by the whole concept, so while she wants to lose a little weight and get into a little better shape, she wants me to gain and get out of shape. I'm good at gaining weight and being sedentary, so quite quickly I'm as heavy as she is, at which point she starts really taking charge of most activities and pushing me to be even more sedentary. When we realize that I can't keep up with her, physical fitness-wise, despite her still being very fat and out of shape, it is a huge turn-on for both of us. I realize that, like she had earlier, I've really gotten a bit too fat and out of shape to deal with life easily, but we decide that I'm not going to turn back, and I continue to become massively flabby, huffing and puffing just to walk a few dozen yards.

On the occasions when I've really been stuffing, I've always found that I'm up during the night to go to the bathroom.

I always figured the ultimate in stuffing decadence would be to have a small refrigerator as a bed-side table, so that if you were awake in the night you could just reach in and grab some fresh goodies (maybe those little cheesecake bites?). Not to mention to be able to grab something to eat as soon as you woke up in the morning. I don't know how interesting that would be in reality, but I like it in fantasy as a sort of sign of dedication to the whole constant eating goal.