The waiting time in the UK 5+ years to see a Gender Clinic. It then takes further months between appointments as they grill you on "are you sure? Are you really really really sure?" while trying to see if you have gender dysphoria. Then, they'll finally prescribe.

It is actually easier to have a full body tattoo, put piercings all over your body and have plastic surgery of any kind than it is to access HRT. Anyone over 18, as long they have money, can modify their body any way they'd like, but somehow HRT is a 10+ year wait filled with endless "ARE YOU SURE THOUGH?!" and yet people STILL think it's too accessible. I kinda feel like the waiting time could be 100 years long (requiring you to live as your gender all 100 years according to traditional expectations), require 10 doctor assessments and a letter from god and people would still think it's too accessible. It's kinda a disgusting attitude to have : /.

So, I think Munchies is right that context is kinda super important: That usually transgender people (including non-binary people and other identities) use estrogen to help transition their bodies to a form they prefer. If you are wanting to feminise yourself, then you could try to explore professional supervision, although most if not all will usually expect a diagnosis of gender dysphoria in one way or another. So, I think kinda trying to pin down if this is something you're experiencing will help you not only feminise, but also to avoid feminising if it could lead to a lot of potential future discomfort (there are cases of cis people, for one reason or another, transitioning and becoming deeply mentally unwell due to gender discomfort). Generally, as a trans woman, I'd heavily heavily discourage a cis guy from taking estrogen and transitioning into a woman, and would only encourage it if it was a trans person who was born assigned male and who is of a gender that isn't male and for whom feminising would generally make them feel better about their body. I would also heavily discourage taking estrogen without supervision as you could face a whole multitude of medical problems in the process, but considering the situation trans people face globally I do understand if that is the path some take and would recommend some heavy research and regular blood tests to avoid potentially fatal health issues. That said, while I do not personally take HRT as of yet, it is something that deeply appeals to me due to things like gender dysphoria.

That said, I think as this is kinda in the realms of HRT, I'm not so sure a gainer/feeder/etc forum is the best venue to explore the topic of HRT.

I kinda think opening yourself as much as possible can really help : ). So, doing posts here, putting pictures on your profile and a good bio can go a long way. I also think approaching people can help if you're that type (I'm, kinda, sadly not, haha, I prefer to be approached). You can also put an ad on the forum of what/who you want. That said, it's also a question of a matter of time, like, if you hang around long enough people will message. It's just about then weeding through creepers and chasers.

Mutual definitely for all genders. Especially if there's a gain to it as I can then experience both my gain and my partner's gain.

A 4 hoping to be a 6 or 7 one day. : P.

I kinda think if you have unresolved issues with anorexia, then it may be an idea to try to resolve them with a therapist then wait and see how it shakes out?

For me, I've had a personally a very difficult and complicated relationship with my body where the line definitely blurred what I wanted. I wanted to be fat, but the more I explored how I wanted to look and feel about myself, the more it turned out to be a lot of gender dysphoria. Coming to terms with that really helped me personally know what I want, that I do want to be a fat woman but perhaps not to the extent I thought I wanted to be before (since before it was used to help smoke-screen uncomfortable parts of myself). That I do enjoy fat people, and that I see feederism/gaining/mutual gaining as a way to access a body I like rather than a sexual activity in of itself. It kinda helped me take my time more, focus on what I want and feel less anxiety/obsessed about things.

I know my situation definitely doesn't apply to you, but, I dunno, I kinda get it when feederism/gaining/feedee part of life kinda takes over due to unrelated things? I think also there's nothing to say you can't do stuffing and not gain if you're balancing it out with exercise, between session healthiness and the like (although could be a little difficult?). Also, once you know how your anorexia impacts this, then, it may kinda change how you approach this.

I think finding friendship with a partner means so much to me. I like to be with someone I could spend time with outside the bedroom as well as within it. It kinda means a lot there like communication skills, openness and honesty, but, it's a good summary.

I also think respect of boundaries, pacing and who I am also is super important. If I am dating someone who I'm very wary about coming out to about my identity, well, it's probably not going to last as who I am is super important.

So, my case is kinda more odder I guess?

So, I started out as a gainer/mutual gainer, but then I lost about 100lb~ accidentally due to an illness. I then realised I am trans around this time, and went to feeder for a good few months as I do still like fat but, I dunno if I really want to put weight on pre-HRT as if I gain when I'm on HRT hopefully the fat goes to the "right places".

So, kinda fat-appreciator/feeder now, but kinda probably eventually will go back to being a gainer/mutual gainer when on HRT as I kinda admit I do really love how fat looks and feels, haha.

I've kinda only experienced floating between chubby to fat (between 168lb to 240lb ), never quite full on obese. So while chubby you can kinda look normal if maybe a bit "cuddily", fat is undeniable. Like, the rolls begin to creep in, the belly is now starting to sag a little and the face is rounding out and growing in a double chin. My fitness when chubby tends to be "I can kinda go to the shops just fine!", while when I am full on fat I'm starting to get a bit unfit and lazy where I'd kinda just rather not do anything. When fat, I can get out of breath walking if for a long time and running is just ain't happening. Also, flexibility is starting to become noticeably lower, as just my belly just keeps getting in the way.

Overall, as a gainer, being fat is just waaaay more fun, haha. I wish I ever got full on obese.

Maybe the only correlation in this equation is you?