[quote]Chloe24xx:there are times when the urge is stronger and it leads me to want to try it out but later I'm back to my normal self where I then feel weird and confused about it, because i have been ashamed about this side of me and struggled to accept it./quote]

You don't sound confused to me, just conflicted. Obviously there are upsides and downsides to gaining--only you can decide what's more important to you. And please don't feel ashamed. You can't help being into this...none of us can.

My advice is if you're not sure about gaining, don't--it's much easier to stay thinner and change your mind and get fat than vice versa. But if one day you decide you'd rather get fat, just accept it and enjoy it. No sense in gaining weight if you're going to guilt-trip yourself. Note that many a person will think about this for years, and then get to a place in life where they decide to let themselves go and get fat.

It's probably better not to tell people you're gaining intentionally, but you can tell people you've tried dieting and find that you're happier if you eat what you want.

I think the biggest problem is that most people don't want to be out about this stuff. It'd be hard to do that on a seriously interesting podcast.

There was one with two male feedees who would do interviews with guest male feedees. I'm not into men, but it was kind of interesting in a general way. Got repetitive though. They'd basically do feedee bios. When did you first think about gaining as a child? What got you started doing it? How has it been, etc. etc.

Here's the site on wayback machine: web.archive.org/web/20200903215135/https://thegaininglife.tumblr.com/
unfortunately the audio doesn't work.

A quibble: If you plan to stop at a certain weight I'd call that a limit. A goal is your minimum target weight, a limit is your maximum target weight.

Of course your goal could be your limit as well, but not necessarily. In fact if you want a goal AND a limit, I'd suggest the goal weight be smaller. That way you don't have to stop on a dime.

For example, if your goal weight is 200 pounds, your limit should be at least 220 pounds. Make sure you don't gain past your limit...that's likely to undermine your confidence. However, there is a loophole: if your limit is 220 pounds and you find yourself going past 215 and have no inclination to cut back on the milkshakes, INCREASE your limit before you get there.

You shouldn't go past your limit, but you can increase it as many times as you want.

I'm not sure exactly how common it is, but I've heard the story many times. Seems like as soon as they're on their own they start eating way more without even thinking much about it.

One woman I chatted with used to have a feeder who'd stuff her to that too-full-to-take-a-deep-breath point as part of sex.

She got so she had to stuff like that to have an orgasm, even after she broke up with the guy. Getting that full was crucial to her sex life, and she couldn't stop gaining.

I have no hard data, but it seems to me that the people most likely to go out of control are those who stuff to the point where they can't take a deep breath once a week or more.

Stuffing like that develops their appetite so much that they keep gaining, even if they stop stuffing like that.

So if you're worried about going out of control, don't stuff to that point very often.

Of course, for some, getting that full is a big part of the fun. One woman I talked to stuffs to that point three times a week and feels like it would be a betrayal of the fetish to eat any less. She is very fat but has no regrets.

My own take on the downsides: there are risks to getting fat, but people often take risks to do what they love. Getting fat is safer than a lot of things people do: base-jumping, playing football, mountain-climbing...you name it.

In your case, Drawncurtains, you seem unsure of whether you want to do it or not. What many people do in that case is just postpone gaining until they do make up their minds. Some never do. Others might wait years, then finally can't stand putting it off anymore and jump in with both feet.

The "Growing Horizons" site has some tips as well--though they're VERY fat-positive. I.e., they preach it and make it sound like there are no downsides to getting fat. But of course there are.

Links:

www.growing-horizons.com/post/should-you-gain-weight

www.growing-horizons.com/post/should-you-gain-weight