Hello! First off, thank you for your comments! I appreciate that you took the time to share your take on it.

Being myself a petite FFA who favors fat men, I would not be included in the silhouette of a BBW, nor would my partner. Such a thing would be too specific to describe the community at large and would exclude a substantial portion of us.

Do you have any suggestions on how to make it prettier?

I think that your description of this being a fetish is misleading, it would be like calling homosexuality a fetish, and therefore not worthy of having a flag. Like homosexuality, being an FA is not something that is chosen but rather born into (many in the community experienced fat admiration as young children, as I did), and it only has to be as sexual as someone decides to make it. I'm an artist and I see fat as being beautiful; describing that as a fetish makes it sound like appreciating fat makes us perverted.

Putting this flag next to other flags would not be inherently tacky, I don't think; besides, whoever did that would be an individual using the flag. Any judgement of tackiness would be on the individual, not the flag itself.

The beautiful thing about the flag is that nobody has to reveal what it is to others if they don't want to.

Getting a "Fat is where it's at" bumper sticker takes the community and cheapens it to a one-liner; nothing wrong with that for a bumper sticker, but it doesn't communicate the same thing a pride flag does.

I see what you're saying, but in this day and age pride flags exist for many different groups of people, and being historically oppressed isn't a requirement. For instance, asexual people have not been beaten or tortured physically, yet there is still a flag to represent their community. Being a community, I do not think that we FAs somehow haven't earned the right to have a symbol. The purpose of the flag is to communicate.

Hey all,

Why doesn't our global community of fat admirers have a pride flag? I would LOVE a way to support and recognize other members of the community out "in the wild," and I think this would be a great way to do it!

Here's my idea for it:

(larger picture uploaded as an attachment at the bottom of the post)

- The flag's dimensions are 2:3, a common flag ratio which I find aesthetically pleasing and which is an easy ratio to reproduce.
- I chose red and yellow because they are a common color pair meant to make people hungry and they are colors associated with food.
- I chose to include a pink heart because it is a clear indicator of love and romance.
--- In addition to the universal understanding of this symbol as one of love, I chose to include the shape of a heart -- rather than a pink stripe -- because pride flags that only feature stripes are very repetitive, unoriginal, far too similar, and boring, in my opinion.
--- (In no way do I feel that this reflects upon the validity of the cause that these flags support, but flags that fail to leave a distinct impression and fail to be easily recognizable are ineffective flags.)
--- Anyone who wished to include another pride flag within the heart would be able to easily do so, and therefore show their pride in belonging to sub-communities of the FA world (such as replacing the pink of the heart with the gay pride flag to represent the LGBT+ members of the FA community).
- I chose to outline the heart in brown because
1) Brown is a dark orange, which is a combination of red and yellow (the main colors),
2) The brown border helps to make the heart stand out from the background, making it more identifiable and visually pleasing, and
3) Brown calls chocolate to mind, and brown and pink together are reminiscent of neapolitan ice cream (yum!).

Also, you will notice the "F" on the side; I thought it would be neat to have specific letters that, should one choose to self-identify as such, would make it apparent what the bearer considered herself/himself to be:
F - Feeder
G - Gainer
A - Admirer
M - Mutual Gainer

Please share your opinions on the matter!! I would really love to have some kind of flag for our community! I would love to hear your thoughts, and we can all collaborate to make a flag that really feels like "us." Also, it's worth mentioning that I would like the flag to represent all within the fat admirer community, not just the Fantasy Feeder community.

Oh my God. I am so horribly, horribly conflicted. My entire life I have been an FFA. I tried ignoring it, suppressing it, denying it, which just led to emotional damage. I never found a BHM, nobody. I feel in love with a thin person 8 years ago, and dated them despite not being attracted to their body. I felt like we were soul mates. I completely forsook my needs to cater to them and to relish our extremely strong emotional bond and our love.

We finally tied the knot four months ago.

Then I meet the flipping BHM feedee of my dreams.

We hit it off IMMEDIATELY. We are a perfect match in seemingly every way. He's got all the things about my current partner that I love, and has all the things my current partner lacks. He's confident and exciting. He's everything I ever dreamed of. He's the person I didn't think existed, the person I thought would forever be consigned to my dreams. I thought my FFA side would never, ever be fulfilled, and it was killing me. I longed so badly for it my soul was sick. And then this BHM came into the picture. We've fallen in love very, very rapidly, and last night we made out for hours in my car, totally enraptured. It was heaven, bliss, something I never thought I would get to do, my dream come true. With horror, I have realized that I am in love with him, and I never want to be without him.

Do I leave my mate, whom I've been with for 8 years faithfully? For a man I only just met? I don't know if Mr. BHM wants to commit, but it seems like it in his eyes. I wouldn't just have to break up with my partner, but DIVORCE him! My partner would be beyond devastated; I am his everything. He would not bounce back. But he knows very well my desires of feederism and FA, but he is 100% never going to gain even a couple pounds. He hates fat. I can't live on fantasies my whole life. I can't live without that kind of love. I can't live like this anymore, but how could I leave after all this time, throwing my partner who has stood by me and made life worth living like he's a piece of trash, just for the CHANCE of having something serious with Mr. BHM of my dreams?

I feel like I'm using both of them: using my spouse by lying, and using Mr. BHM of my dreams to have a fling without allowing him the option of getting more serious if he wants to, without allowing him the knowledge that I love him enough to be faithful to only him, without allowing the relationship the opportunity to evolve naturally. I just want to be with him forever. I want him. And I feel like the worst, most amoral person on the planet.

Lol, yeah, basically, if you're cynical. Which I'm not saying I'm not.

I have a B.A. in psychology. It's not a mental disorder.

Something that might help in understanding modern classifications of mental disorders (i.e., the DSM 5) is that a big purpose of having a "diagnosis" is to bill health insurance for treating it. In no way does this imply that something in the DSM is "wrong," but just that getting professional help is in that person's best interest. For example, gender dysphoria is in the DSM--NOT because there's something wrong with being transgender, but because transgender people benefit from services such as HRT and psychotherapy to alleviate their suffering just as antidepressants and psychotherapy aim to alleviate the suffering of those with depression. So, even though feederism is a "paraphilia," which is in the DSM as a general category, it's NOT because there is anything wrong with having a paraphilia, it's just because having a paraphilia might cause people enough distress that they can benefit from professional help, because they, say, worry that there is something wrong with them.

I played the heck out of Chips Challenge back in the day! ...I was a kid, though.

Lately, I CANNOT stop playing FTL, which is all the more maddening because evidently I suck at it. I haven't beaten it once and it's starting to look like my Everest.

Other than that, Splatoon 2 and I have been inseparable (though I'm not too good at that one, either).

I guess basically I'm saying I suck at all games, lol.

i totally agree with OP, ahots, and treadhead.

it is a constant battle between my fetish and reality/my anxiety/the part of me that hates myself. so many years of trying to deny, ignore, or turn off my fetish because being overweight is physically and emotionally difficult, because everyone i know who is overweight hates it, because it does have health risks (though not to the extent that sensationalistic media likes to portray), and because my fiance is not into the fetish, is not fat, and doesn't want to be fat. so in bed i have to pretend I'm into it, because i am too afraid to admit to him and myself that i cannot get aroused without thinking of extreme obesity and feederism. i feel guilty for not finding the love of my life sexy as he is. i feel guilty for the brief foray he took into weight gain to please me, which he hated on every level, and which he only did because his self-esteem was very low. yes, i feel guilty.

i have no idea if this is true, but having been surfing gaining sites for years, i think that weight tends to be more in the belly at first, but that belly fat is also the easiest to lose, while thigh, hip, butt, and breast fat is more enduring--and when gaining resumes, everything gains at about the same rate as it did before. i think this because a) the bhms i like (read: phat) have a long history of gaining, losing, gaining, losing, gaining, whereas guys of the same weight who haven't gone back and forth seem to just have big bellies; b) i saw some bhms and ssbhms talking in a forum once, giving advice that they should do this kind of yo-yo dieting to increase moob size; c) i think I've read somewhere that belly fat is mostly a different kind of fat than butt/hip/thigh/chest fat: belly fat is for shorter term storage by the body, and the other places are for longer term energy storage. also, i think that the butt/etc. fatt is supposed to be healthier as well (something about "brown" fat vs "white" fat...). anyway, that's just my pet theory, and I'm sorry that my advice is only what I've seen from guys, because being an ffa that's just what I'm into, lol! i don't know if it's the same with women since it's a whole different set of hormones, but i think that you should have success. if you are on antiandrogens then you shouldn't have testosterone holding your breasts back, and i think testosterone is also mostly involved with the beer gut type look more manly men get, where all the fat goes to their bellies and everything else is relatively skinny. so, if you're on hrt, i think it shouldn't be impossible to get something more like what you're after, but also look at the women in your family, since they're dna is closest to yours, and that's probably what you'll look similar to.

good luck, and happy gaining/transitioning!

Blubberlol: I'm sorry that you've struggled, i was also ostracized and picked on because i look different. it's absolute hell, and i don't think i could live through my teen years again. also, I'm sorry some people are still being inconsiderate of your struggles.

OP: being an ffa, i absolutely LOVE moobs. i fantasize about them all the time, they're usually what i check out on large gentlemen i see (well, i guess, along with everything else), and i don't find guys attractive if they don't have them (i.e., are all belly with a relatively small chest). they are definitely a huge turn on for me!!!