I never thought that I could really get fat. It's been always my shameful desire. But now I can not help myself, I really got fat. And I say not about weight, but about my conscience. I really love to eat, I'm crazy about overeating before bed. I like when I'm full. Even now, writing this, I am lying stuffed and lazy. So high for me. Literally in 3 months I gained more than 10 kg (from 66-67kg to 78 when I'm stuffed). Now I am officially overweight. My BMI is 27,3. I often say myself that I willstart losing weight soon. But I do not want to lose weight. I don’t know if I have enough willpower to lose those extra pounds. And now I really understand, that first you become fat in your mind, and then your body becomes fat. I don't know if i will become skinny or just normal again.

I want to become a gainer in the next month and gain about 10-12 lbs as an experiment. But I have doubts about all this. If I will have desire to be thin again? Feedee's lifestyle is very addictive, isn't it?