The fantasy is a huge part of things - most people stay anonymous on sites like this to begin with because although these are their "deepest, darkest fantasies" they still don't actually want to "date a fat chick/dude" because of how others will react. Hence I don't do the online roleplay bull, and outright ignore those who request to do so. Huge red flags for me include people who don't have display pictures, or use cartoons/other stock DP pics as their own, and people who want to chat about stuffing online on whatever messenger. I've met a bunch of people through this site (dated one, chatted to another but couldn't meet due to distance), and I've actually met several other people both in the sense of friendship as well as nefarious/sexual reasons haha. Grand total I'd say probably 8 people in 11 years time? Most of which have happened in the last 4 years lol.

Guilt is such a funny thing- I have been on several sides of this metaphorical fence, and it's really neat to see a variety of answers from many users here as far as things that we all seem to feel concern over ( a partner's wellbeing, what our partners want, etc.); I find when I have an actual romantic attachment to someone, I have a hard time sitting by as they discuss how they might want to lose weight, or how they dislike their body, etc. - I am incredibly supportive, very caring as an individual outside of any relationship setting, and for me the dilemma becomes what I want to say, which is "No"/"You're not doing that", and what I need to say as a supportive friend who wants her partner to be happy. It's caused me a fair amount of distress in the past, but for me the gratification comes out of a sadistic paraphilia - so in essence, the exertion, physical pain, and negative consequences & daily struggling are the main components to sexual gratification for myself personally LOL.

And the nature obviously of a paraphilia is that there is either distress caused by the atypical sexual ideation due to social stigma, personal conflict, or the distress of others - to which I definitely fall into the diagnostic criteria lol. When I don't have the friendship association or, "relationship" quotient with someone I am taken with, or if they are genuinely masochistic and love all of the exact same aspects of their weight gain and subsequent suffering or difficulty as I do, I don't care at all LOL. It's a bit of a slippery slope, however - and I'm a psychosexual weirdo/total predator for the willingly defenceless lmao. But I guess I can turn it off, can't turn it off, live with it, and also do all of the above at once?

I'm rambling lol ! I'll shut up now.

T'rana. AKA Toronto, Ontario.

I'm naturally dominant; that being said, i think handing over the reigns and being told what to do is silly fun, and I beta fairly quickly to other dominant alpha women and actually enjoy submitting to the dommes i have had the pleasure of knowing in my life. Barely switch, but still switch? And above anything else i am extremely psychologically sadistic lol!