there are sooo many variables that impact a person's health, genetics being a really significant one that is outside of our control.

having been pretty fit for my first 40 years and gaining quite a lot of weight in a relatively short period of time (2 or 3 years), i firmly believe the speed at which i gained (or perhaps the rate at which i changed my lifestyle) definitely had a negative impact.

in the last 4 years my health has been up and down (along with my weight), but i've learned something important:

people say weight is unhealthy. while greater weights stress your body more (you can feel it just in walking, if you get big enough, right?), i think it has more to do with lifestyle. by that i mean, what you do and eat impacts your health, as well as your size.

i've altered my habits (eating better quality food, reducing sugar and eliminating alcohol, etc.) and my health has improved. i lost some weight as a result (more than 50 lbs), but i am finding ways to gain and maintain my health better now. so far it has been successful.

inevitably i will have to deal with some health implications of my size, in that my heart has to work harder in this big ol' body, but for now i am getting to experience this amazing journey.

my issue is two-fold, i cannot reach and also i am buried in my large thick fupa.

i sometimes have used vibrators, wands and other toys to extend my reach. having a partner who finds this hot is also a big plus, and mostly she is the one who helps me out.

people whose opinions i trust that saw it have told it's pretty negative, it presents a situation which is the dark side of feedism, so i have no interest in seeing that.

ahh, the early days of the internet...

kelligrl appeared as a model in the paper magazine of dimensions in the 90s (not sure when her issue came out, and can't find any references online). she was active for awhile in the message board there in the late 90s, and into the 2000 and maybe 2001.

somewhere in there she started her own site and "magazine," bulge. more of a newsletter or 'zine i guess. at a local meet-up maybe 10 years ago someone brought their copies, they were pretty crude, like photocopies. digital cameras, inexpensive colour printers, etc. were all just around the corner, i guess.

for years the dimensions website had a pic of their "latest" (and ultimately last) issue featuring the model cat on the cover (i think she has since passed, too, sadly).

having been in this community for more than 25 years, i just want to say how grateful i am for sites like ff (and dimensions, though it is a shadow of its former self). there is a lot of history included in the forums and stories posted here, including the digital legacy of some who are no longer with us.

definitely, i care.

the core reason is that i am reading specifically to experience the vision of that author. that goes down to the word choice, the phrasing, the specific adjectives they've decided to use. i want their point of view.

ai can't do what great writers like growinglovehandles, kyzarburner, giantjay and mistress audra (among many, many others) have done. it can't share their specific perspectives.

now there are lots of weak, short, poorly written stories out there, too. is ai worse than those? i don't know.

today ai has several tells. it does a truly dreadful job of depicting feedism and weight gain, probably because this is such a niche community so the material to be trained on is relatively obscure and less plentiful than regular vanilla romance and porn.

to me, words matter. the choice of which word you use matters. if ai has "supplemented" someone's story, i want to know. otherwise it's just like any other kind of false presentation.

this kind of scenario is going to happen more and more. already i am interviewing young people at my work, and they've filled in resumes and work examples with content that, when questioned or asked in person without the benefit of a computer, they clearly don't understand and are unable to replicate. i am growing more and more worried that ai is going to make people dumber. that's a risk, because if the ai isn't working for us, maybe one day we'll be working for the ai?

yes, we've had quite a few meet-ups here in toronto over the years. check the "events" forum for notices of that sort of thing.

they seemed to happen every three or four months before the pandemic, and less frequently now (maybe once a year). i'm not sure if that is just something that is unique to this city, or if it's a general trend?

i hope not, too.

archive dot org's wayback machine doesn't have the actual dimension site archived, but they do have some snapshots of bbw wiki. the story page is there, but a lot of the stories are missing, unfortunately.

here is my data:

Part 1: About You

1. Gender:
Woman / Man / Nonbinary / Self-describe / Prefer not to answer

man

2. Age:
18–24 / 25–34 / 35–44 / 45–54 / 55+ / Prefer not to answer

48

3. Community role — select all that apply:
Feedee / Feeder / Gainer / Encourager / Fat admirer / Other / Unsure

feedee, fat admirer, former feeder,

4. Current weight — optional:

about 460 lbs.

5. Your own goal weight — if applicable:

current goal is 500 lbs

6. Time participating in the community:

more than 10 years (close to 30)


Part 2: Your Preferences

1. How important is weight gain to your enjoyment of feedism?

4

2. How important is feeding someone or being fed?

4

3. How important is fullness, either your own or a partner’s?

4

4. Which aspect appeals to you most?
Eating / Feeding / Being fed / Weight gain / Fat bodies / Admiration / Combination / Other

all of the above

5. Do you prefer feedism as fantasy, real-life activity, or both?

both, but reality is more important than fantasy to me

6. How important is having a partner who shares this interest?

3

7. How important are signs of growth, such as clothing fitting differently?

3

8. What dynamic appeals to you? Select all that apply.

submissive, teasing (this has changed over time - i started out as dominant before gaining weight)


Part 3: Everyday Life and Acceptance

1. Overall, how does feedism affect your quality of life?

very positively


2. Feedism adds enjoyment or fulfillment to my life.

5

3. Feedism sometimes interferes with my responsibilities or personal goals.

4

4. How has feedism affected your relationships?

both

5. How comfortable would you feel discussing this interest with close friends?

2

6. How comfortable would you feel discussing this interest with family?

2

7. Who have you told? Select all that apply.

partner, close friends, healthcare professional, community memebrs

8. If you keep this interest private, why? Select all that apply.

no desire to share sexual interest with family or strangers outside of the community

9. Would you like feedism to be more publicly accepted?

yes

10. Compared with other consensual adult kinks, how accepted do you think feedism is?

somewhat less

11. Overall, how do you feel about your experiences in the community?

positive

Optional: In Your Own Words

* When did you first notice this interest, and has it changed over time?

first noticed my attraction to fat people while a kid, and was delighted to hear that people put on weight or became fat. as a young, athletic man i discovered the community in the very early online community (late 90s). in relationships i was dominant, thin and a feeder. it wasn't until i was 40 that i started to become the submissive feedee, quite unexpectedly. so i feel like i have lived two lifetimes in the community.

* What would greater public acceptance mean to you?

i think there is a lot of judgement based on perceptions of health. i think if society can accept that people who look fat aren't necessarily hell-bent on becoming thin, that would be a good thing. the hedonism of enjoying food or indulgence should not be automatically a negative thing. it feels like the body-positivity movement backed off a little with things like ozempic coming out, which tells us not everyone felt that it was ok, they were masking for something else.

* What would you like people outside the community to understand?

fat is a beautiful thing. touch it, squeeze it, feel it - it's so wonderful, soft, warm.... it's wonderful! to be hugged by a squishy, fat person is sublime.

thank you! as a reader i really appreciate this.

dimensions is still there, but it is not very active. i can't imagine what would make it worth paying for at this point.