AskDrFeeder:
I know, let's put everyone in burkas so we can't fantasize about them even if we want to!
Morbidly A Beast:
bro thinks consent is tantamount to slavery
Hmm. This seems like a particularly uncharitable interpretation of his joke, and not consistent with what he's expressed so far. Like, does "consent is tantamount to slavery"
really seem like a take a reasonable person would have? Obviously not. So maybe that's not what he means.
I would prefer it if we, as a community, would double check our understanding before lobbing insults/accusations like "fucking sick freaks".
No one is saying consent is oppressive, or that consent isn't important. Some of us just don't see how thoughts/fantasies are thing that require others' consent. My approach is to try figure out if/where/why we disagree
Greentrees8733:
Similarly, Morbidly A Beast, you’re also addressing a morality angle, right? Like it’s morally okay to feel attraction, but not fetishize? I think that’s what I’m reading, but I just want to double check.
Morbidly A Beast:
Of course it’s ok to feel attraction. Attractions aren’t fetishes. No one says straight men have a fetish for women lol. But yes. However it is more about it just being kinda cringe I see it all the time in these spaces and it’s just kinda meh to me.
Letters And Numbers:
You’re saying it’s cringe for people to talk about their kink on a fetish board about their kink? I’m not talking about people I see on the street, either, but this is one of a handful of places online to have that talk. It’s finding a copy of Time Magazine in the periodicals section.
Morbidly a Beast:
Nope, not saying it’s wrong to have kinks at all nor is it wrong to discuss them I’m saying it’s cringe that they’re projecting fantasies on normies while engaging with people who are already participating in those fantasies. Maybe it’s a disconnection in the language I’m using? But I think what I’m saying makes sense.
I think there's some ambiguity in the term "fetishize". I've seen it used different ways in different places. How do you mean it? Is the meaning you're working with limited to "projecting fantasies on normies", or does it mean something more and/or different? Is it
posting it that's the problem, or even
fantasizing about it privately?
Similarly, I think there's some ambiguity around saying something is cringe. Do mean that you
personally find "fetishizing" distasteful and don't like that people do it, as one might dislike idk, kale? Or that there's something
morally objectionable about it? (In which case, our feelings about it are irrelevant)
I think the following example might help clarify, but feel free to ignore. In the following scenario, I'm wondering what steps you consider to be "fetishizing", "cringe", or morally objectionable, or which steps require Bob's consent.
Step 1. Alice finds her coworker Bob attractive.
2. Alice fantasises about vanilla sexy times with Bob.
3. Alice is also into feeidism, and fantasizes about feedism sexy times with Bob. She has no idea whether Bob is into feedism or not.
4. Alice notices that Bob gains weight and likes it. She doesn't know his opinion on his gain.
5, version 1. Alice hopes Bob gains more weight. Alternatively,
5v2. Alice hopes Bob gains more weight, but only if he wants to. Alternatively,
5v3. Alice hopes Bob gains more weight regardless of whether he wants to or not.
So far, Alice has been totally private with her thoughts, but she decides to share some of them on FF:
6. Alice writes her Bob+feedism fantasies as fic. She changes their names and identifying details, and then she posts it to FF.
7. Alice writes a fairly anonymous post about Bob on FF, including what she presently finds attractive about him (e.g. his recent weight gain, how she likes how his work uniform fits now, etc.). Nothing that would be likely to lead back to him.
8v1. In the post, she mentions that
if Bob gains more weight, she would enjoy it. Alternatively,
8v2. In the post, she mentions that she
hopes Bob will gain more weight
