SmugWendy:
I used to eat at restaurants a few times a week, so that has changed. I eat a lot more delivery now. I also eat more fast food for the same reason. Otherwise it's pretty much the same. I go through periods of gluttony and restriction. That's why my weight fluctuates so much.

mrman1980uk:
A year or two ago, I was talking to somebody from this community who remarked that I was pretty vanilla, for someone from this community at least.

Sadly, we stopped talking shortly afterwards and I never got the chance to ask her quite what she meant.

I have been pondering, on and off, ever since quite what it might mean to be "vanilla" in this community.

None of us can help what we find attractive, of course; if we could, I imagine that most of us would probably choose something less complicated than others (my own preference) or ourselves putting on weight. Looking at the Jar of Kinks: Feederism Edition, of the 29(!) categories, I only have a significant interest in about 3 of them ("tight clothes", "uncomfortably full" and "belly rubs".

There is a whole lot of stuff in there that does nothing for me (air inflation, clothes padding, immobility as just some examples) and some things that I did not even know were a thing until the "jar of kinks" graphics started appearing ("ex-athlete" is its own thing?).

There also seems to be a strong tendency among many in this community to a domination/submission dynamic, which is not really my cup of tea; for my own part, I am attracted to strong, confident, independent women, but am not into being dominated myself; I prefer a relationship of equals.

But at the same time, I find an attractive woman gaining weight through overindulgence extremely alluring; there is something exquisitely erotic about someone whose hedonistic overeating means that she can't do up the button on her jeans even if she lies on her back and sucks her tummy in as far as it will go, that her wobbly flesh oozes out of the dresses that she can barely zip herself into and who binges to the point where she feels sick and can barely move, but is simultaneously filled with rapturous ecstasy, quivering with erotic pleasure at the lightest touches to her almost unimaginably engorged tummy. Pushing and testing boundaries - of overeating and of how much fat that her clothes can contain - is like nothing else on earth. The more pleasure that she gets - and expresses - from this the more that I am aroused. Just writing the above description was arousing.

Is this vanilla? To me, that is so much more erotic - and intense - than some of the things on the "jar of kinks" list such as messy eating or burping, which seem tedious by contrast (I don't mean to be unkind to those who are into these things; we all have our own preferences, of course).

For me, the woman in question does not have to put on an enormous amount of weight, gain weight very quickly or be very large for it to be alluring (although some of the women here who have put on a large amount of weight can in fact be very sexy indeed: LilRascl, I am looking at you); relatively slow gains or reaching a potbellied plateau of overindulged voluptuousness with occasional all-out binges and attempts to squeeze her amazingly overfed figure into clothes several sizes too small can be amazing, too.

I wonder whether sometimes I give the impression of being more vanilla than I am by being somewhat reserved in private conversations, which comes largely from caution about being too forward about anything that I cannot be confident that the person to whom I am talking would be comfortable talking about; but it is hard to calibrate quite where to draw the line in these cases, and I am sure that I have misjudged it in both directions in the past.

I should be interested to know what others think of this.

amazingem:
I have always found fatter people more attractive than thinner, fitter people. Growing up I had a friend who was always a little chubby, and around the time we were 13 he started to get bigger, becoming what I would definitely call "fat." I developed such a crush on him! I remember looking through magazines with him, with images of traditionally attractive women in them, and he would remark on how sexy they were... But I only had eyes for him!

I don't know why, though. Certainly the large size, the softness, it all is part of it. The jiggle makes me weak in the knees every time I see it! Certainly the feel of grasping fat flesh is such a pleasurable sensation. But why? I have no idea.

OscarAlfa:
Sinceramente no tendrían que meterse en tus decisiones, tu eres dueño de tu destino y decides lo que tú quieras. ( Qué raro es ese país, acá en México es normalizado el que las personas tengan sobrepeso)

MissRohi:
Well, I guess you'll simply have to grow a thicker skin (no pun intended).
You could also make it fun. Having people notice and comment on your weight gain can be quite exciting.
Let them judge. You're the one to know better. ;-)

wanttobefat600:
In my opinion, the best course of action to avoid an awkard discussion with family and friends about your sexual preferences, the best way to make people understand that you have no desire to lose weight and are ok with your fat body is to make it appear to them that you're letting yourself get fat because you've decided that exercising and eating right are too hard compared to being lazy and over indulging and being fat to you is worth the enjoyment of not exercising and not watching what you eat and tell people who push the issue that you respectfully do not care what they say and refuse to lose weight

AnorexicPretty:
I have once gained 15 kg in one month, on purpose (sadly it didn’t stick, so I am trying again with new methods now) and all those people who usually tell me I look too thin and should gain weight at once told me I should watch what I eat since I am becoming fat 🤣 Seriously, you can’t please them people, they will negatively comment everything 🙄 I decided that this time I will pretend that I just don’t care. In real life, only my partners and one of my closest friends know that I do this on purpose. My family doesn’t. They wouldn’t understand.