With over 40% of women in the US now being overweight I think it's a trend that feeds itself. Women are now surrounded by overweight and obese women; younger women have grown up this way. It's not a special "oh my god, did you see how she blew up!" kind of thing anymore; is't part of the new normal.

My wife's friends are mostly overweight, some obese, so it doesn't make her the odd one out.

With being bigger and fatter normalized, the goal posts are moved too. If a large number of your friends are around 200 lbs, you don't feel you're big at 180-190, even though you're well on your way to being fat.

Of course women's bodies are also optimized for fat, which is why more women than men are overweight.

I find it all very encouraging

Time and effort comes into play, in regard to your question.

If over a long time she says she wants to lose weight but her efforts don't at all align with that, she's making herself fatter and so you helping her to become fatter or not don't really make a change. In that case the choice is more how fat she becomes and so promoting weight gain is a go.

If on the other hand she makes a valiant effort to lose weight, you shouldn't sabotage it by adding hidden calories. You can still encourage her to overeat so as to not lose weight.

With mine, I respect her diet attempts, but when she asks for chips or ice cream, I serve it, willingly and happily. Then when she goes back to eating like it doesn't matter, I don't mind boosting her meals, speeding up the weight gain she would have gotten naturally anyway.

What are your own thoughts on the subject? What are your ideas, and what are your hopes or fantasies?

This is so me. My wife never moves to get anything. If it's not right next to her chair or her bed she'll ask me. Heck, she'll call me from another room or another floor.

I absolutely indulge and encourage that behavior. Not moving saves a few calories but I also love to see that total internalization of laziness. It's the lifestyle and mindset I want for her.

I have to be eating with her to keep her feeding herself. I can slow down (1 chips versus her 5) or skip a meal or a snack, but if I eat lean, she generally tries to follow.

I'm having some cholesterol issues and eating more veggies and less of everything else because of that does help; she sees it as me fixing my health problem, not dieting. But even then you notice she eats less.

My feedee:

1. Been fed in real life.
Yes

2. Ate herself to sleep
Yes

3. Had sex while being fed
No

4. Stolen food because you'read a piggy
No

5. Been called fat in public?
Yes

6. Had a stranger poke your belly
No

7. Been fatter than her current weight
Yes

8. Ripped clothes or popped buttons
No

9. Broken furniture
No

10. Seen an actual pig, and turned on by its round, hanging belly?
No

11. Fantasies about Immobility
No for my feedee. Mostly no for me too but these days she's either laying in bed, or hanging in a chair. I've taken over all the household and encourage her sedentary lifestyle

12. Ate until she almost threw up.
Yes

13. Got stuck somewhere because of your size
No

14. Posted Nudes of herself online
No

15. Been fed online
Yes

16. Been told to lose weight by family
Yes

17. Has a partner who worships her fat
Yes

18. Rubbed her belly in public
No

19. Been called a pig
No

20. Been measured or weighed by someone
Yes. I weight her ocassionaly and she gets measured once a year.

21 Been in a gaining competition
No

You're just 20? Life is not running away from you; there is plenty of time.

Priorities in a relationship.... Say she would want to gain for you, you marry, it's 10 years later and she gets an illness through which is loses and should never regain. You'd split up?

Mine was a few lbs from 200, she knew by then that I like her fat(ter), and one Christmas for my present i just asked for her to be AT LEAST 200 lbs. She gave me that and as weight comes on easily but is hard to get rid off she's now between 214-219, with more to come

[QUOTE]Per Dartmouth, a more credible source than you[/QUOTE]

Ah, a snowflake.

Yeah, the health aspect can be scary. 250 can be a good cutoff point.

I've found with my wife that letting her drop 5-10 lbs and then putting that back on continues that feeding sensation without an over the top gain. Maybe something to try

[QUOTE]You need to do some serious reflection and priority-setting.[/QUOTE]

Thanks, I did, that's why I am where I am, am how I am, and do what I do.

The situation is of course more complex than that short post. Like, my wife purposefully gained weight for me. My wife likes to overeat and has diets that last 8 hours.

What's funny is that if I would be enabling her to eat at a calorie restriction, that would be loving.

Either way, I think you're jumping to conclusions in a situation the context you're not aware of, and maybe even are the type of person who thinks consent between adults is only expressed 100% verbally.

I:

- told her I don't want to be her food police anymore because "i like you with a bit more meat on you"

- stopped saying "no, you're not fat at all!", as if that is something bad

- explained her "some men are into boobs while to you they're just fat bumps; think of your belly as your third boob -- it just turns me on"