I've wondered about this a lot myself and despite considerable reflection, I've never been able to narrow down to one particular defining moment or origin story.

But, I couldn't help but notice certain things. It seemed like most the adults in positions of authority who were pleasant and fun, tended to be fat. But then I remember a nasty kindergarten teacher that I would characterize as the "Wicked Witch of the West" was skinny. But most of the nice teachers? Fat. The bus driver that took everyone out for ice cream? Fat. When I had trouble in elementary school the principal, he was nice.. and he was fat.

Despite all the rhetoric, the media at the time, etc. it really did seem fat people really were happier, more pleasant, and jolly. Who wouldn't want that?

Meanwhile you have those who ate food they hated or would punish themselves at the gym, and for what? To be skinny and cranky? Didn't even think it looked better either.

I also remember seeing all the various weight loss ads out there - they told a story that didn't seem to align with my observations. That the subjects were so much happier and looked so much better after losing. And the after picture almost never looked better than the before.

When that time in my life came where I started to see women in a "new" way, I gravitated towards larger women. Why wouldn't I want that?

This was also the time when the World Wide Web was spreading and becoming mainstream. On Excite! or perhaps Yahoo (one of those search engines before Google and Bing), I searched for something like - "weight gain" "before and after" at which point, I discovered Dimensions Magazine, some of the originals like Kelligrrl, Brooke, SexyMic, and CurvyDreamer, and so on.

It was as if the gates of St. Peter opened up in the sky and angels were singing Hallelujah! I wasn't crazy, I wasn't alone, I wasn't the only one who thought this way! Like a whole new world opened up for me.

A few years later I would discover FF which I would continue to regularly visit to this day.

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