Lol I have kids. They were done about an hour ago and are already all gone other than the ones I ran off with

PUMPKIN SPICE COOKIES WITH CREAM CHEESE FROSTING & CARAMEL DRIZZLE

Makes 24 large cookies or 30 medium ones. Double everything if you want more 😊

COOKIE INGREDIENTS
- ½ Cup Unsalted Butter, softened
- 3/4 Cups Sugar
- ½ Cups Brown Sugar
- 1 Tsp Cinnamon
- ½ Tsp Numeg
- ½ Tsp Cloves
- 1 Tsp Baking Powder
- 1 Tsp Baking Soda
- ½ Tsp Salt
- ¼ Cup Honey, warmed
- 1 Egg
- 1 Tsp Vanilla
- 15 Oz Canned Pumpkin Puree
- 3 Cups All Purpose or Pastry Flour
- 1 Cup White Chocolate Chips (Optional)

CREAM CHEESE FROSTING INGREDIENTS (Optional)
- 1/2 Cup Butter
- 8 Oz Cream Cheese
- 3 Cups Powdered Sugar
- 1 Tsp Vanilla

OPTIONAL: Drizzle with caramel and cinnamon!

INSTRUCTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 350.
3. COOKIES: Combine butter, sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl and mix on medium speed until creamy.
4. COOKIES: Add in honey, egg, vanilla, and pumpkin puree then mix on medium speed until evenly combined.
5. COOKIES: Slowly add in flour ½ a cup at a time mixing on medium speed until evenly combined.
6. COOKIES: Slowly add in white chocolate chips if you choose to add them and fold in by hand.
7. COOKIES: Place onto pan evenly. Ice cream scoop size (2 TBSP) for large, 1-1/2 TBSP size for medium. Bake for 14-16 minutes or until golden brown around the edges and solid on top (cookies will be semi-uncooked inside due to pumpin puree). At about 8-10 minutes, push cookies down with a spatula to flatten a little and help them cook evenly. Allow to cool before eating/frosting.
8. FROSTING: Mix all ingredients together on medium speed then refrigerate while cookies bake/cool. Once cooled, frost with a spatula then drizzle with caramel and cinnamon if you choose.

The Swine Switch ...

Maybe have the first chapter be about the scientists at work, on the medicine and food that makes pigs bigger, testing on them. Then then get to them waking up and finding out they are the pigs.

And add more in about how the people meat is being sold to people as pig meat ... tricked into thinking that is what they are buying and eating.

I got you ...

An agricultural scientist wakes up in barn wearing a shock collar and surrounded by others who also are. They are divided into groups, separate pens. Whoever is keeping them there is using the collars to control them, keeping them where they want them … in the pens or in the field outside of the barn, and forcing them to take medicine and shots with who knows what in them, and forcing them to constantly eat from funnels that come down from the rafters.

After going out in the field the first time, the scientist realizes that there are people that he works with there too, and eventually they realize that everyone there works at the same place. Their boss, this big scientist, is the one that kidnapped them and is using them to test out medicines and food he designed to make pigs grow bigger, so they produce more meat … because he’s gone crazy and thinks he can make even more money off of people meat.

The subjects who are really good, do everything and eat everything they are supposed to get to help with getting the medicine ready, preparing food, and security. Somehow the scientist and some of his co-workers work their way up to that and then make a plan on how to alter the medicine and food that everyone is getting so they can stop gaining and get stronger, and eventually to turn the collars off so they can fight back and escape from being slaughtered and eaten.

Ultimate Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Featuring three cheeses, bacon, fried onions, and seasoning for flavor. Ingredients listed are for 6 sandwiches with regular size bread OR 4 sandwiches with the middle section of rounds.

INGREDIENTS
- 1/2 A large Yellow Onion
- 1-2 Cups Milk or Buttermilk
- 1 Cup of Flour
- 1 Package of Thick Cut Bacon (+ Veg. Oil)
- Sliced or Rounded Sourdough (more dense) or french sourdough bread (less dense). I use french.
- 1 1/2 Cups Butter, Softened
- Package of Sliced Cheddar Cheese
- Package of Sliced Muenster Cheese
- Package of Sliced Provolone Cheese
- Seasoning: Dried Rosemary (Tbsp), Dried Minced Garlic (Tbsp), Ground Pepper (1 1/2 Tsp), and Sea Salt (1 1/2 Tsp) mixture. Or use your own

INSTRUCTIONS
1. FRIED ONIONS: Slice onion in half down the middle (top to bottom) then into very thin pieces. The larger half rings should be cut in half. Once down place in a bowl and pour milk or buttermilk until covered. Set aside for at least 30 minutes.
2. BACON: Cut bacon slices in half then cook in oil over medium heat until it starts to brown then set done pieces aside on a paper towel. DO NOT turn oil off, instead turn to medium high.
3. FRIED ONIONS: As you are finishing up bacon, pour flour onto a plate or a clean surface, then pull onions out of bowl and coat with flour. Once done, dump them in oil and push around continuously until they just barely start to turn brown, then remove and place on a paper towel. Remove oil from heat.
4. SANDWICHES: Preheat oven to 175 and place a cooking sheet in the oven, middle shelf.
5. SANDWICHES: If you are using a griddle, set it to 350. If you are using a pan, set the burner to medium.
6. SANDWICHES: Take bread, two slices at a time and spread butter on one side, then place on griddle or in pan, butter the other side and sprinkle with seasoning.
7. SANDWICHES: Flip over after a few minutes, until side facing down starts to brown, then assemble the rest of the sandwich ... fried onions, then cheeses (I do the cheddar in the middle), the bacon and then, flip the other piece of bread on top.
8. SANDWICHES: Cook for a few minutes, until side facing down starts to brown, then flip and do the other side. Once both sides are brown, put on pan in oven to keep warm and let the cheese get all gooey while you make the rest. They won't overcook!

P.S. I usually start a second sandwich going once the first one has everything stacked on it.

Lol I have kids that eat it all before I get much of a chance to 😉

CINNAMON SUGAR RUGELACH WITH BANANA & CARAMEL FILLING

Makes 32 rolled pastries. You will have about 1 cup of filling left, it is great on toast or with peanut butter sandwiches.

PASTRY INGREDIENTS
- 2 Cups Flour
- ¼ Tsp Salt
- 8 Oz Cream Cheese (Fridge Temp)
- 1 Cup Unsalted Butter, Softened
- 1 Egg Yolk
- 1 Tbsp Honey (Microwave 15 Seconds)
- 1 Tsp Vanilla
- 2 Tbsp Sugar
- 4 Tsps Cinnamon

FILLING INGREDIENTS
- ½ Cup Unsalted Butter
- ¼ Cup Honey (Microwave 15 Seconds)
- ¼ Cup Caramel (Microwave 15 Seconds)
- ¼ Cup Water
- ¼ Cup Sugar
- ¼ Cup Brown Sugar
- 1 Tsp Cinnamon
- 5 Small Ripe Bananas, Mashed
- 2 Tbsp Flour
-
INSTRUCTIONS
1. PASTRY: Combine flour and salt, whisking until well combined.
2. PASTRY: Cube the cream cheese and butter then add to flour mixture, mixing on low (pulse) until crumbly if you have a large mixer. If not, by hand using your fingers.
3. PASTRY: In a separate bowl, whisk together egg yolk, honey, and vanilla.
4. PASTRY: Drizzle egg mixture over flour mixture and mix until well combined.
5. PASTRY: Roll dough from bowl into a ball and divide into four. Press divided portions down until about 1 inch in height, then wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least two hours.
6. FILLING: In a medium saucepan, add butter, honey, caramel and water. Heat over medium heat, stirring frequently until melted and evenly combined.
7. FILLING: Add in sugar, brown sugar, and cinnamon, continuing to heat and stir until melted and evenly combined.
8. FILLING: Add in mashed bananas, reduce to low and continue to stir frequently for 10 minutes. While it is simmering, gradually add in flour to help thicken filling.
9. FILLING: Once done, remove from heat and set aside to cool. Once cooled, place in a bowl and refrigerate until dough is ready, at least an hour.
10. ASSEMBLY: Cover a baking pan in parchment paper and spray with butter or flour spray. A large pan will fit 16, a normal size pan will fit 9.
11. ASSEMBLY: Remove dough and filling from fridge. Sprinkle surface and a rolling pin with powdered sugar (flour if not available) and roll out your first piece of dough into a circle about 6 inches in diameter.
12. ASSEMBLY: Combine sugar and cinnamon in a bowl or cup. Sprinkle the top of your rolled-out dough with cinnamon/sugar then flip over and do the same.
13. ASSEMBLY: Spread out a layer of your filling on top of dough, then use a pizza cutter to divide dough into 8 pieces (pizza slice style). Starting from the larger outside edge, roll each slice up then place on a pan. Do a second piece of dough if you are working with large pan.
14. ASSEMBLY: Sprinkle your pastry with a bit more cinnamon/sugar then refrigerate for 20 minutes.
15. ASSEMBLY: Preheat oven to 350, then repeat the same assembly process with your other two to three pieces of dough while you wait.
16. Once out of the fridge, bake each pan individually for 20-25 minutes until golden brown. Get some while they are warm and refrigerate the rest for later.

TRAIL MIX COOKIES

Makes 36 medium cookies or 24 large ones.

I use these cookies for hiking, but they are great anytime. The best thing about them is that the five different goodies packed inside make you taste a little something different each time you take a bite.

COOKIE INGREDIENTS
- 1 Cup Unsalted Butter, softened
- 1 Cup Sugar
- 1 Cup Brown Sugar, Packed
- 2 Eggs
- ¼ Cup Honey
- 1 Tsp Vanilla
- 2 Tsps Baking Powder
- ¼ Tsp Salt
- 2 ½ Cups All Purpose Flour
- ½ Cup Oatmeal
- ½ Cup Crushed Peanuts
- ½ Cup Butterscotch Chips
- ½ Cup Crushed M&M’s
- ½ Cup Raisins

INSTRUCTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. Combine butter, sugar, and brown sugar, then mix on medium speed until creamy.
3. Add in eggs, vanilla and honey one at a time, mixing after each.
4. Add in baking powder and salt, then mix well.
5. Slowly add in flour ½ a cup at a time mixing on medium speed.
6. Add in oatmeal, peanuts, butterscotch chips, M&M’s, and raisins, one at a time. Mix by hand after adding each one, folding each into the dough.
7. Place onto pan evenly using butter spray, flour spray, or parchment paper. Balls should be about 1 ½ Tbsp for medium and 2 Tbsp for large. I use an ice cream scoop, ½ for medium and almost full for large. Bake for around 14 minutes for medium and 16 for large, or until edges start to brown and tops don’t look doughy.
8. Remove from oven and let cool/harden before eating.

Lol, I wake up groping my 46DDD's regularly

Thanks. To be fair, I have had 5 kids, so it happening may have been inevitable with the exercises I am doing for growth. Like riding a bicycle. Sorry to hear about your struggle , hope you are able to enjoy it other ways