What ya listening to?

Eleanorrigby:
i don't know how to attach links, but 'after hours' by the velvet underground has been on repeat for me recently

also, '7 heures du matin' by jacqueline taieb

Munchies:
You can post the web address into the message post.

If it's a link to something like YouTube, it will turn into the links you've been seeing in this thread,

Eleanorrigby:
i had no clue it was that simple omg thank you 😭


Hey, we can't know everything. You good, love.
12 hours
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Munchies

What ya listening to?

Eleanorrigby:
i don't know how to attach links, but 'after hours' by the velvet underground has been on repeat for me recently

also, '7 heures du matin' by jacqueline taieb


You can post the web address into the message post.

If it's a link to something like YouTube, it will turn into the links you've been seeing in this thread,
12 hours
Avatar
Munchies

Reactions to you telling people you're an fa

MarkSeanDavis17:
I've been with one FA and we spent weeks getting to know each other first, establishing trust and respect. Then when we met, the physical things felt natural and we had established trust and communication. If we didn't get along so well, there's no chance we'd meet and continue with fun times together.

Stevia:
Exactly! I definitely think that this is how it’s supposed to go anyways.

Munchies:
A lot of people are ashamed of this kink. And I get it. I do. But I see a lot of FAs (and feeders) who try to keep that part of them a secret so they don't lose whatever relationship they want to be in.

Do not do this. This will not end well.

Instead, do what Mark does: Take the time to get to know the other person, build trust, and communicate well to establish mutual trust.

Maybe you aren't right for each other. And that's okay. There are over 8 billion people in the world. Statistically speaking, you can find at least a couple of people that you vibe well with depending on how you go about things.

Stevia:
Your advice is as golden as always! You had pretty much emphasized what Mark said and I can relate to some of what you experienced as well. Because I’m sure it’s something that many fellow FAs would think the same, or should! Lol.

I just hope that you weren’t trying to criticize me for agreeing with Mark here. 😅


Nah, I was addressing the broader FA base. You good, love.

The common advice I hear is that you should give up on finding someone who shares your kink because of how niche it is. Instead, some people recommend dating a fat person outside of the kink, never tell them, and just admire them in secret.

I'm not saying dating a non-feedist is bad. But if you are going to do that, you have to be honest and value them for more than their body. If you don't, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak.
12 hours
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Munchies

Reactions to you telling people you're an fa

MarkSeanDavis17:
I've been with one FA and we spent weeks getting to know each other first, establishing trust and respect. Then when we met, the physical things felt natural and we had established trust and communication. If we didn't get along so well, there's no chance we'd meet and continue with fun times together.

Stevia:
Exactly! I definitely think that this is how it’s supposed to go anyways.

Munchies:
A lot of people are ashamed of this kink. And I get it. I do. But I see a lot of FAs (and feeders) who try to keep that part of them a secret so they don't lose whatever relationship they want to be in.

Do not do this. This will not end well.

Instead, do what Mark does: Take the time to get to know the other person, build trust, and communicate well to establish mutual trust.

Maybe you aren't right for each other. And that's okay. There are over 8 billion people in the world. Statistically speaking, you can find at least a couple of people that you vibe well with depending on how you go about things.

Enas:
The market pool drastically shrinks if you just filter through incompetent people, narcissists, etc :/

But whats even more importand is how much the person is socializing, and getting to meet new people.

Btw that doesn't mean not to try, its actually more of a "make sure you socialize plenty!".


Shrinking your market pool isn't necessarily a bad thing. The truth is that there are only so many people with whom you will click well. Not filtering your options gives the illusion of having many options, but you are more likely to find scores of people you don't mesh well with.

When you shrink your market pool, it may become harder to find people who want you, but when you do, it's more likely you'll find someone who wants you as you are.

With that said, to my fellow FAs who are going around telling people you want them because they are fat, you are telling people that you only want a superficial relationship based on appearance. If that's your jam, more power to you. But if that's not what you want, then y'all need to do some soul searching.
19 hours
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Munchies

Blackmail

Gluttony Incarnate:
Some are really into blackmail. I'm just curious what about the blackmail makes it so stimulating?

I don't know. I'm just - I was thinking of exploring this topic, but I'd like to hear from some that are into it.


I'm not into it, but from what I understand, it's the power play aspect of it all. Some people love the idea of being forced to do something. It's a way to indulge their kinks without being directly responsible for them.

For others, it's the thrill. Maybe they'd do this anyway, but the thrill is like seasoning.
20 hours
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Munchies

Reactions to you telling people you're an fa

MarkSeanDavis17:
I've been with one FA and we spent weeks getting to know each other first, establishing trust and respect. Then when we met, the physical things felt natural and we had established trust and communication. If we didn't get along so well, there's no chance we'd meet and continue with fun times together.

Stevia:
Exactly! I definitely think that this is how it’s supposed to go anyways.


A lot of people are ashamed of this kink. And I get it. I do. But I see a lot of FAs (and feeders) who try to keep that part of them a secret so they don't lose whatever relationship they want to be in.

Do not do this. This will not end well.

Instead, do what Mark does: Take the time to get to know the other person, build trust, and communicate well to establish mutual trust.

Maybe you aren't right for each other. And that's okay. There are over 8 billion people in the world. Statistically speaking, you can find at least a couple of people that you vibe well with depending on how you go about things.
1 day
Avatar
Munchies

Uncolicited advice - a conversation

Kitsune2:
Seems like on Reddit you will always get unsolicited advice 100%. It's a literal minefield.


I mean, people love giving their opinions. And, as I understand it, Reddit is engineered in a way that incentivizes unsolicited opinions. Something about karma?
1 day
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Munchies

Uncolicited advice - a conversation

Unsolicited advice is simply advice you did not ask for. Sometimes it's appreciate. Most of the time it's not.

And that's the gamble of it all. No matter how good your advice is, some people do not want to hear it. You can have the best intentions in the world, but sometimes, it will not be appreciated.

This does not mean the person rejecting your advice is wrong to do so. Maybe they already know what they are doing. Maybe they are going for something different that you are suggesting. Maybe they just don't care like that.

Whatever the reason, it's bet to respect their no. If you keep pushing, then no matter how good your advice is or how well meaning your intentions are, you are now the asshole.
2 days
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Munchies

Uncolicited advice - a conversation

Enas:
So, i recently had an experience that made me ask a few questions about uncoliced advices, in general.

What do we actually mean when we categorize some piece of advice as "uncolicited"?

"Advice that was given without being asked for" is the common explanation (or definition?). At the same time, a lot of people view it as something that is *always very undesirable*. I have even come across some post which said that uncoliced advice *is* a boundary violation.

I wanna hear peoples' thoughts on this, and i also wanna share some positives, negatives about it, as well as things that are relevant but not about it.


So what do i think are the positives of uncoliced advice?

It can break one's bubble of ignorance. Basically if you are completely unaware of something (which also means you will never be able to ask about that thing) receiving information about that thing from someone else is one of the very few things that can introduce you to the thing, which is good because that expands one's horizon of knowledge. Thats basically its only positive, but it does have variations (one can simply not keep something in mind when they do some activity, because they have not connected the two, if they are relevant, in their mind) and it has consequences which can be good.

What are the negatives?

It is prone to errors due to an insufficient grounding in reality. The way you give the advice might not be optimally helpfull, or it can be not helpfull at all if you dont understand sufficiently whats up with the other person (to which you want to offer the advice)

And there are also things we, wrongly - in my opinion, associate with unsolicited advice.

Being passive agressive; Yes, you can be passive agressive through giving uncolicited advice, thats about you, not about the act of giving uncolicited advice, in the same way that if you do something bad in some way, what matters when someone judges your action is that you did something *bad*, not the way in which you did it.

Offense; Offense can be justified (if what the offender says *is valid*) or unjustified. You can offend through uncoliced advice but that is about the validity of what you say. Not the act of giving uncoliced advice. With implicit offenses its similar, those are about the validity of what is implied (and there are specific techniques to figure out implicit assumptions that somebody makes)

Being offended; Im putting this as a separate thing because i could not include the element of fragile egos in the previous point. So, how you recieve an offense depends on how competent you are. If a very rational person recieves an offense, they will judge if it is valid or not. If yes, they will know they can improve themself, if not they will know the offender has made a mistake. In either case, they will act acordingly and reasonably. On the other hand, if a person with a fragile ego recieves an offense, they will feel threatened and, usually, lash out. So, thats about the person who recieves the uncoliced advice, not about uncoliced advice.

What do you think?

.
2 days
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Munchies

Gainer version of 75 hard challenge

Morbidly A Beast:
I feel like I could do that for a weekend or something but 2 and a half months of 10,000 calories a day would be pretty brutal, and I’m someone who puts away 3-4k lunches in a sitting. I get pretty painfully stuffed around 8k

Enjoyment factor would lead me to say nope to this but props to feedees who’d go for it


You have to be a masochist to do that. You also need to train your stomach to handle this. Your average feedee will eat 3 - 5 kcal a day. It will take a few weeks of near constant eating to get to that point if you wanna be quick about it. This is doable if you aren't responsible for anyone or don't move so much at work. Lemme tell you what, that calorie count will knock you OUT.
2 days
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Munchies
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