An honest question for the non-gainers here...

PoisonPrincess wrote
I'm not a gainer or a feeder. Don't think I really fit into any of he pigeon holes. I'm on this site because my boyfriend introduced me to it to show me that big can be beautiful. I'm a big(ish) girl and have alot of issues with it. Joined this site to help me learn to love my curves.


I don't if this will strike you as useful, but I love love love this piece of writing: kateharding.net/2007/11/27/the-fantasy-of-being-thin/ -and there's lots of good things in the archives on that site for those who want to learn to love their curves, in quite a different from this site, which is also good.
13 years

Bi shout out

Nash wrote

I'm still a bit unsure if I understand pansexuality properly. I mean, I think I do. Isn't it like having an attraction to a personality or mind, and almost being body and gender blind? If that's so, how much of pansexuality is physical attraction? I'm just curious about it. I think I may be classifiable as pansexual, but I'm not sure.

Also, for those that are, maybe there should be a pansexual shout out thread?


I think using pansexual rather than bisexual is about recognizing that gender is not a binary. I'm pretty sure it does include physical attraction, just not only to folks who id as male and female. Or maybe I'm the one using it wrong?
13 years

That's so gay!!

I agree 100%. Gay is not a bad thing, and I wish people would stop using it as a pejorative.
13 years

Vampires

I love most vampire tales. I love how they can be used as a metaphor for so many things, sex or addiction or sexually transmitted disease or kinkiness... I find it weird how many want to defang their vampires, after all, it's hot because it's risky, isn't it? The sexiness is definitely there in Dracula, even. I know it's a little kinky, but it also seems to be really, really common to find the sight of (onscreen, at least) blood erotic. I wonder why...
13 years

Vampires

I kinda liked the vamps in Being Human, kinda sexy but still, you know, deadly. Even the good one ended up killing a lot of people!
13 years

Fat country cultural shock

Morever wrote
Hence, I am screwed.


Hope you find the plump lady you are looking for and these words become true in a good way! smiley

(It's weird that the fat Italian mama who cooks all the time and is always urging people to eat is SUCH a cultural stereotype in North America. And The Sopranos was one of the best tv shows I've ever seen for ogling fat men, and it was all about Italian-Americans!)
13 years

I think i'm on my way to becoming an extrovert!

I won't say I've become an extrovert, but I did overcome the social anxiety that kept me silent and terrified as a young teen. In those years, I worried constantly about other people judging me and was convinced I was boring and awful. Now, I don't care very much what people think. As for what helped, I'm afraid external validation was key. Meeting people who didn't know me in high school made me feel free, free to express my real self to people who hadn't already judged me harshly. Those new people liked the real me and told me so, and eventually I got comfortable enough to assume that most people won't hate me. And I like myself, too, which is also key.
Forcing yourself to be social is good, sometimes. Fake it 'til you make it.
13 years

Questions for the ladies

Nice soft round bum on a guy = A+. Make me want to give it a squeeze, so I say flaunt itsmiley
Saggy pants revealing undies, not so much. Makes me think of the time I was sitting on a crowded bus and ended up nearly nose to ass against a young man with nothing on but grey boxers, it was kinda gross... That said, I don't think that style looks worse on guys with a bigger bum, so go for it (if you must.)
13 years

When friends and family notice your weight gain.

Maximum wrote
Eh, seems my rents have decided to work together to force me thin again, bombarding me constantly about my health, my size, my fitness, I'm sad to say Maximum may soon be Minimum again. smiley


Oh dear, that's awful. It's hard to fight your parents, but the truth is weight cycling is quite possibly worse for your health than just getting and staying fat. And the fact is diets don't work for most people, even those who prefer being thin. For those who prefer being fat, I strongly suspect they will gain again, if forced to lose weight. But, as you indicate, health, size and fitness aren't the same things, despite being conflated in people's minds. Is it possible to do things that indicate to your parents that you're working on health and fitness, without changing size much? Like maybe taking up a form of exercise that doesn't necessarily lead to weight loss, such as gentle tai chi or swimming (which always makes people hungry, in my experience)?
13 years
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