This has already been suggested. Furthermore, OP has already said their wife has shown discomfort with the extra weight OP has.

This isn't solving the problem. This is ignoring the problem and hoping it goes away.

I'd urge you to take a step back and consider that you have your entire life to figure this out.

It sounds like we've talked you down from the edge of secretly gaining; in the same vein, you can consider this an opportunity to do research about gaining healthily and otherwise engage with your kink in a way that won't compromise your partner's trust in you.

Just remember that even if you can't work through this in the next couple of days, weeks, or even months, that still leaves plenty of time for you to experiment with this in the future.

I understand if it's hard to consider denying yourself this indulgence for long, but in that case you need to find ways to cope with it. If you need to fantasize and get your rocks off on your own to keep a clear mind about this, so be it. You can't change your urges, just the way you direct their energies.

Some of it will depend on how you want to engage with the force feeding kink and/or BDSM. You can have much more comfortable positions, like being on your back propped up by pillows, if you aren't worried so much by physical restraint and domination, instead relying on verbal "coersion" or "punishment/reward" play.

Remember that force feeding doesn't just have to be about having your face pushed into food so you have no choice other than to eat--it's about entering a headspace where you give your partner control of how much you eat. The method is secondary to that.

For more specific advice, consider some foods like popcorn, pork rinds, or rice if you don't want to use cake for your face-in-food style sessions.

You can also try funnel-feeding if you haven't already; shakes and smoothies are incredibly filling, and you can be lightly tied to the headboard of your bed to give your partner control over how much you drink.

I'd talk about it with them and verbalize my appreciation for seeming to indulge your kink as they have. Staying quiet will probably frustrate and confuse you more in the long run, and may indeed make them feel like their efforts, if flirtatious, are fruitless.

That conversation could also be a good time to talk about boundaries and expectations, and you can also ask if there's anything you can do to return the favor.

I'll note that many practices provide teletherapy, and in my experience that's more convenient anyway. But I digress.

OP, your wife's disdain for her body is something you can only help with by accepting her choices over the matter.

I understand the conflicted feeling you express. But every person has their own reasons for wanting to gain or lose weight. My partner is accepting of my kink and we enjoy it in what ways we can, but health issues make losing weight the better option long term. Their weight loss hasn't impacted our relationship negatively, and if anything it's something to bond and cheer them on about.

I'd suggest thinking hard about whether you really would be that devastated if your wife lost weight or if this emotion is just a run-of-the-mill aversion to change. If I had to guess, you'll both end up just fine.

Found a link to it via curvage:
tubepornclassic.com/videos/148210/ilsa-harem-keeper-of-the-oil-sheiks/

Hope you find that someone! Just be yourself. The people who let your neurodivergence deter them aren't worth your time.

Not a doctor. Most of my knowledge comes from reading up on diabetes on the internet (scholarly articles, scientific esplanations).

TL;DR avoid carbs unless you can exercise after meals.

From what I understand, type 2 diabetes is ultimately caused by too many carbs and not enough exercise. Carbs turn into blood sugar, and the body releases insulin to signal muscles to use the blood sugar.

But if there's nothing to use it on, the blood sugar and insulin levels stay high and two things happen. First, muscles start to get used to higher insulin levels as the "norm," so they need even more insulin to be told to use the blood sugar. Second, the pancreas gets worn out from constantly releasing more and more insulin, causing damage to it, ultimately reducing the amount of insulin it can release.

These two symptoms are what we call diabetes: the inability for the body to produce enough insulin to get muscles to use sugar efficiently.

If you can keep your blood sugar low, you can avoid diabetes. That means avoiding high carb foods, unless you can put those carbs to use by exercising.

From the article below, it doesn't seem like it could hurt, at the very least--though I'd look for a way to get the glucomannan fiber in a purer form.

Your body would probably thank you for the fiber after a stuffing too.

www.healthline.com/nutrition/lipozene-review

www.healthline.com/nutrition/lipozene-review

This could be fun. If nothing else, speaking as someone who doesn't write as much as he would like, it could have the same benefits as a writing circle.

I feel like this kind of thing lives and dies by the hook. Making the cause of weight gain being open-ended enough for people to put their own spin on it while also being consistent enough to be recognizable as a theme is a challenge.

There's also a question of genre/setting. Lots of stories on this site are modern/magical realism, which is convenient because it's got a low barrier to entry for both writers (less world-building) and readers. Of course, that isn't attractive to every reader or author.