Munchies:
Wanna point out that you ate so much that you herniated a rib.

You might not be an accurate example of "standard"

Supersizeher27:
I'm currently in a really amazing relationship. It taught me a lot about myself. However, one thing it taught me is that what I once thought was a slight feedism/fat kink actually seems to be a full-blown fetish that I can't shake. We've talked at length about it for a very long time and they tried gaining for a bit, but long story short, they really don't like it and do not want to gain more, which I completely understand and respect. This has left me in an interesting position. I love them so much and they are so perfect for me in every other way, but I've realized that I can barely engage with them sexually without having fantasies that result in me desperately wanting them to be fat (they are not) or gain weight. I am unsure what to do, this fetish not being satisfied is genuinely causing me a good amount of distress and I'm obviously not going push them to do something they don't want to do.

So, I'm left with a horrible choice. Do I stay with them? I can't imagine not being with them, but having to deal with this strange desperation for... fatness is very draining. I have talked about this so much with them (they have been amazingly patient and I am so grateful and feel so bad), and we are both at our wits end. I have never been with someone who is not skinny before, which makes it even harder because I don't really know what the alternative really is outside of fantasy. I want to know if anyone else here has had similar experiences, and for anyone (especially feeders) who have experience with actual feedism relationships, what would you do, and is being in such a relationship as good as my fantasies tell me? Thanks.

Also, one more thing, is it normal to feel the kind of distress I am feeling for not being able to engage with this fetish? I am worried that maybe it is not, and other people would not be this affected by it and so perhaps there is a deeper problem.

Letters And Numbers:
Potentially unpopular view incoming:

I don’t know (or want to know) what your porn habits are, but if you’re spending a lot of your time on sites that cater to any fetish or your algorithm on TikTok is constantly feeding you fetish content that hits your dopamine receptors in exactly the right place, youre probably getting a pretty slanted view of the world. I’m not an expert, but this community is pretty tiny. There just aren’t that many people who are into it. It’s niche. So if you really think the grass is greener, look at some of the stories of how hard it is for other users to find partners who share the kink. It sounds like you have a partner you love and are compatible with. That’s hard to find too. But you already found them. The secret ingredient might be unplugging from what’s frying your dopamine receptors. By all means, use this website responsibly, but if you think it’s a negative influence in your life — unplug, and that goes for a bunch of other sites, too. I know it’s hard when the app that shows you songs and funny cat videos will also show you individualized fetish content. We’re probably doomed as a species.

We’ve had a few of these threads lately and I wonder if it has to do with the change in seasons and everyone being indoors more.

GardenGrower13:
I'm wondering if anyone might have an experience similar to mine and be able to offer some advice.

I'm a gainer who has truly wanted to be fat since childhood and has never really viewed fatness as a negative thing when it comes to other people. However, I've grappled with a lot of internalized fatphobia and shame about sexual desires, so I have mostly just been a bit chubby throughout my years of on and off gaining. I got over my internalized fatphobia by the time I deliberately crossed into "obesity" and lived there for some time, but then I involuntarily lost a lot of weight because I hadn't been gaining in a healthy way.

I slowly regained some of the weight, then several months ago I came to terms with my sexual guilt and accepted that I did want to actually try to gain again, just being a lot more careful with my diet.

I've been having a lot of success with this for the past few weeks, and I estimate that I've gained over ten pounds without putting a significant amount of strain on my digestion like I did before. A lot of this is easier for me now because I'm using an app to keep track of my macros every day. I PROMISE this isn't an ad, this post is not about that app lol.

So if my guilt isn't about Being Fat, and it's not about the whole Kink of it all, then what am I feeling guilty about, you might ask? The mere act of eating food, more than I physically require. I don't hold other people to the same standards as myself in this, but when it comes to me, seeing the amount of excess food I'm deliberately consuming (while this is all very hot lol) makes me feel guilty when I think about the people who don't have access to food. The fact that every dollar I spend on some extra food for me, especially extra fresh and healthy food, could be spent to help feed someone in need instead... And I don't know how to cope with that.

I spoke with my therapist about it, (leaving out the parts about deliberately gaining because I don't particularly want to be talked out of it) and she suggested that instead of focusing on all the money/time/food I'm Not giving to people in need, I should focus on what I can do and put energy into doing that, whether it's a donation or volunteering.

This is the direction I was leaning before talking to her as well, but I'm struggling to figure out what that should look like for me. I find myself wondering, How much do I need to do before it's enough? How much is too much? Will I ever feel like I'm truly doing the right thing or can I get over feeling like I'm "wasting resources" on myself?

I've cancelled my frivolous monthly subscriptions as a start, looking to cancel the yearly ones next. But how do I maintain a healthy amount of my hedonistic, "live in the moment" mindset that gets me through the hard times without becoming uncompassionate for people who don't ever have the option to live that way?

If you read everything here, I'm grateful. If you have thoughts on this or related experiences you'd like to share, I'd appreciate that too!

Edddde:
So many feedees want to be fed for free that they solicit messages mostly to males who get drawn into their false affection. Don't do it. I've had many who do that me. Often, they create a profile with no pictures and when they show interest by asking for PayPal, gift cards, etc. that's when I block them and report them. These people need to be banned from Fantasy Feeder. I have reported them and there is a message from the FF team in the General forum about solicitation on Fantasy Feeder.

BHMBigBelly:
Online is great but sizing between stores can vary wildly. I have a store a short drive from me. It’s more expensive but it’s nice being able to browse.