Well so many things and events, but on form 4 at high school in physics getting weighed to then work how many newton that we excerted. We'll most students came at 50 to 70, I was about 120 at 16 years. Everyone was eager to find out how big I was, as most secretly wondered. But they still look shocked at the number even the teacher. I was excited.... at 17 I was over 130 and about 145 at 18..kilograms that is.

I guess I am not afraid but not comfortable either, I don't in general.

I you get a headache stop, excess water can be absorbed in the brain area.

Dried fruit is high in energy.

Hi, your feelings of insecurity is common among gainers. In fact it maybe a type of anxiety. If your shame is driven by relationships with others? I suggest you consider you ask yourself are you telling yourself that you will experience negative stuff if you gain, but in reality your not or has not happened. If you gain yes people will see, but do not think their reaction will be negative for you. I can tell you from my experience 90 pecent of people don’t care, they care about themselves not others. If your significantly above average size, some will give you more prolonged attention, most just curious, and a minor amount rude.

I focus on how I feel about about my fat and size. It worth doing this and see if it helps in time. Aka “don’t worry be happy” easier said than done.

Foods with calories but no sugar
Nuts and seeds: A great source of healthy fats, protein, and fiber, but portion sizes are important as they are calorie-dense.
Avocado: Provides healthy fats and other nutrients.
Lean meats, pork, poultry, fish, and eggs: Excellent sources of protein.
Vegetables: Many vegetables have very low calories due to their high water content, like celery and cucumbers, while others like potatoes and sweet potatoes are calorie-dense.
Whole grains and legumes: Foods like quinoa, brown rice, and beans are sources of calories, protein, and fiber.
Healthy fats: Olive oil, avocado oil, and grass-fed butter and ghee provide calories from fat.
Unsweetened dairy: Plain Greek yogurt and some cheeses can be good sources of protein and fat.

Also butter, cream, cheese, ect….

I do a big pot of meaty soup , stew, lots of root veg, rice, or stir fry with whole grain noodles. I try not to eat much bread or sugar during the week. I go have gain shakes based of milk, cream or fruit like mango or berries, natural sugars. Eat like a sumo. I only eat fast food on weekends, like cakes or chocolate and no soft drinks, I like soda water.

I just had my last blood test, and I perfect blood, sugar levels, cholesterol, kidney and liver function. I do have low b12, not uncommon if over 50.

I am a gainer, love my fat and the big living. I have my health issues, and mobility challenges. I consider all the things that I could be doing if I was less fat, and having done most of that already it not that engaging to me. I am almost 60 and I look at some people at 80 plus and there issues and think no way. I personally would rather die from something I love than sit around fighting death and having it happen anyway with cancer or whatever But I guess I am not talking about being thirty odd. So not sure it counts in this context.

Do you loose interest before full? I find this occasionally that the excitement or drive to stuff can go midstream not unusual. If the food is bland or lacks taste it does not help.

I also can eat slowly, without being in eating frenzy, and get very full. With multiple dishes of different foods, drinks, including water. I can eat even if I am not hungry or otherwise. It's something I practice.

My experience is that I become accustomed to my current size as normal. And look at my earlier images as small. The same with others they need to be near to my size of me to think your fat. I once look at 400 as big and 500 as huge, now it's 600 and 700. So most at 300 on this site are skinny in my eyes these days.